|
Post by wren on Feb 27, 2014 2:35:30 GMT -6
There are periods where I lose the Work for a time and then seeing my need for it again I struggle back towards it. The last time I lost the Work my mechanicalness cost me greatly. Some of the things are even now still effecting me. But this time coming back to the Work I progressed to the point I now believe I'll never lose it again.
To start I had my first moment of real self-remembering. I would describe it as freeing and more clear than any other moment in my life. And I am always struggling to get back to that state. I observe myself as much as I can and nightly I write everything down. My memory is very faulty at times but I can write for an hour about it.
I have a separate 'diary' for the Work where I write. I also use it to remember things in books of the Fourth Way and make my own diagrams to make it easier. Writing every night helps me see connections in my life, to see hidden faults.
I realized I'm more awake in my Intellectual center than the others. My Emotional center is almost empty, only a few emotions that don't make much of an impression to me. My Moving/Instinctive center is where I need to Work and I suspect my Chief Feature lies in there somewhere.
How do we become more emotional? I have observed for a while and seen my negative emotions. There aren't many and they aren't hard to control. But random moments of the day I try to see how I feel and it's hard for me to tell.
What does work on the Moving/Instinctive imply? I realize I need to be more healthy, eat better and exercise and such but what else should I do?
Right now I'm also trying to watch my talk. I noticed I'm not sincere most of the time and saying things for no reason. Has anyone else noticed how mechanical swear words are?
That's it for now. I'd appreciate any feedback offered.
Awake!
|
|
|
Post by shawnhartnell on Feb 27, 2014 13:59:18 GMT -6
In what way are swear words more mechanical than any other words? Even in comparison to these I'm using now or those used in your original post?
|
|
|
Post by wren on Feb 27, 2014 14:48:06 GMT -6
Perhaps they aren't for everyone. My mistake for assuming so. But I notice around me that swear words are often an expression of negative emotions and are just said to talk. Sometimes they're also part of the roles we take. For instance I never swear around certain people but at home everyone swears.
|
|
|
Post by shawnhartnell on Feb 27, 2014 19:23:22 GMT -6
That's a great analysis: that negative emotions and the roles we take are to various degrees mechanical. fuck fuck shit shit damn damn moooooootherfucker! So, how's your reaction? How does that reflect on the role you take here? (Or anywhere else?)
|
|
|
Post by wren on Feb 28, 2014 18:54:02 GMT -6
My first reaction is thinking about my boyfriend. That is the exact kind of thing he shouts at the TV while playing Battlefield. This usually makes me roll my eyes or ask him what happened. It's something one of my roles would say when something went wrong in a most likely humorous way. Also most likely while playing a challenging game. Swearing on forums a more Intellectual 'I' sees as a sign of immaturity or that it's unnecessary. You usually have to put a tad more thought into your writing than talking. Thusly why my role here doesn't do it. (I honestly don't think I've put one curseword in any of my posts.) I admit one of my 'I's firmly believes that swearing makes you sound uncreative and rather stupid. But of course other 'I's curse all the time. Hypocrisy at it's finest.
|
|
|
Post by shawnhartnell on Mar 7, 2014 6:20:29 GMT -6
What are you interested in / enthusiastic about?
As I understand it, in the Fourth Way you don't have to do much work on the Instinctive center. The most you can do is observe it and get to know it's functions so that you can separate them from the functions of other centers.
The functions of the instinctive center are what's given to us and what keeps us alive. By what's given I mean our basic senses. (we have more than five, for example, how do you know your body position?) By what keeps us alive I mean it does basic life support like breathing, digestion, pumping blood and just about everything you can read about in a gradeschool life science book. It also creates the sensations for drives which motivate us to reduce them and thus keep us alive: hunger, cold, fear, etc.
For the moving center, notice your gestures, how you move, automatic unconscious reactions that involve movement, manner of speaking, and your posture. I'm sure there's more; the list I gave you is just off the top of my head.
Also, you can do any activity that requires you to slow down and regulate your movement. Tai Chi, calligraphy, etc. Also anything that requires you to learn sequences of movements like country line dancing.
|
|
|
Post by wren on Mar 8, 2014 1:02:41 GMT -6
What are you interested in / enthusiastic about? Science theories, rationality, art, skills I can develop, self-improvement, magic/psychic abilities, some life things, etc. I only mention the Instinctive center because my machine is often lazy and more oriented towards sensations, sleep, and the taste of delicious foods. I thought these were related to this center specifically and since they prohibit my Work so often I thought work on this center was the answer. Am I mistaken? Please correct me if so. That list is very useful for me. Thank you. Talk is another big one for me as I continuously get lost in it. I've been doing Yoga for an hour a day which has helped wonderfully with me being calmer and less mechanical. I did try calligraphy once and I remember how incredibly frustrated 'I' became. 'I' didn't have the patience. But I will definitely see about starting that up again. Thanks again.
|
|
|
Post by shawnhartnell on Nov 24, 2014 19:52:20 GMT -6
How do we become more emotional? I have observed for a while and seen my negative emotions. There aren't many and they aren't hard to control. But random moments of the day I try to see how I feel and it's hard for me to tell. I ran across this in the Fourth Way today. You become more emotional by conserving your emotional energy. Unless you have enough emotional energy to power emotion, it's kinda pointless to try to get enthused about anything -- it just won't happen, like a car out of gas. (Meh.) (This makes my previous answer useless as well.) Imagine that your emotional energy is water stored in a swimming pool. Water is always coming into the pool through a water hose but at the rate of flow it will take awhile to fill the pool. Now imagine that the pool has several cracks where water leaks out. In this case if the leaks lose an amount of water equal to (or more) than the pool receives from the hose, it can't accumulate any. So, first things first, you gotta plug those leaks.
|
|
|
Post by shawnhartnell on Nov 24, 2014 20:00:03 GMT -6
Here's the quote from The Fourth Way:
|
|
|
Post by wren on Nov 29, 2014 1:59:38 GMT -6
I recognize that my understanding of negative emotions at the time was limited only to those emotions of mine which caused extreme reactions. Since then, I've noticed not only the big leaks, as from the extreme emotions, but also all the little pinholes from other emotions.
For example, I noticed very subtle feelings of pride and superiority to others. I realized negative emotions are a lot trickier than I thought.
Awake! Wren
|
|
|
Post by shawnhartnell on Nov 29, 2014 3:55:23 GMT -6
Excellent observation. It's said that as you progress you work with finer and finer materials. Does this match your experience?
|
|
|
Post by wren on Nov 29, 2014 5:10:16 GMT -6
I would say so. The more I Work on myself the easier it is to see what there is to Work on and to know how to. I recognize certain patterns in my self and now have the ability and experience to resist them. It's a very odd feeling going from emotional to completely clear inside when you remember yourself.
Of course, I'm not perfect. I still lose battles to my self at times. But I struggle to overcome the next time.
Awake!
Wren
|
|
|
Post by wren on Mar 16, 2015 20:10:19 GMT -6
I've been meaning to update this with my progress but haven't gotten around to it. But with as much as my self has changed it's important.
Everything I've known about the Work has changed. To clarify, the understanding of topics becomes sharper, deeper. I knew before how self-remembering felt but now it's so much deeper now. Clearer. I can pull from my mechanical habits easier and I can see their connections. Cut the cords that connect them and you can pull out the entire thing.
I still have negative emotions and bad habits. But every day they are changing. I observe myself, remember myself, and change.
As another note, my abilities with using magic are increased tenfold when I remember myself. And I can see if the objective is my Will or my machine's. If anyone wants more success with magic, Work on yourself.
More to come.
Wren
|
|
|
Post by shawnhartnell on Mar 16, 2015 20:35:46 GMT -6
Is the 'more to come' sooner or later? If sooner, I'll wait to comment.
|
|
|
Post by wren on Mar 17, 2015 7:00:31 GMT -6
I have no definite time planned so feel free.
|
|
|
Post by shawnhartnell on Mar 24, 2015 10:29:40 GMT -6
Is there anything you've been thinking about / doing differently that may have helped you progress as you have?
|
|
|
Post by wren on Mar 25, 2015 16:55:35 GMT -6
Oh yeah. For instance, I can recall when my first real big progress happened. A few months ago, I had a fight with my boyfriend and went to work in a very unhappy state. While I was there I kept analyzing and asking myself why I felt this way, going deeper and deeper until I caught my first glimpse of my chief feature.
I felt such an intense shock that I separated myself from that instantly. Or, more specifically, with the small bit I saw. Long story short, I thought I was so conscious, saw another bit of myself later, shock and separate, repeat.
After the third time I realized this kept happening. So I realize that with all my progress I still have something to work on. The ego when I progress is replaced with quiet pride.
And I find different ways to remember myself. My favorite is the serious realization that I'm going to die. The people I love are going to die. And everything I see will disappear. It helps me think of what I want my life to be.
And if something strikes me deeply when I read, I make notes of it on a note app and read them all at once. Not just 4th Way stuff either.
|
|
|
Post by shawnhartnell on Mar 25, 2015 17:15:48 GMT -6
Hm. Synchronicity! The first image on my FB feed after reading your post:
|
|