Post by omera on Mar 24, 2013 21:49:48 GMT -6
Independent.
Four months of hell, of living in poverty at a trailer park with my aunts, with just enough money to get high on an almost daily basis. four months of my mother being dependent on her 8th grade dropout boyfriend to support her, because her mind is developed for nothing but sleeping all day.
My family has failed life, but I am independent, with a roomate. I delved and am still delving in Laveyan satanism, having invoked and meditated on Belial for probably two months, and this has led me to live in the midst of the only interesting part of both these half-baked, boring cities- downtown, where all events, festivals, and odd stores make business, including a pagan store (I get odd looks buying black candles labelled as 'expelling negative energy').
At the trailer park a friend gave me some acid, and for a while my ADHD had been cured, and making magick work was a matter of a few seconds of intention focused to a purpose as a prayer to the dark gods.
I live on my own, and by next month me and my Luciferian roomate will have money coming in to buy rediculous things- ritual gear (we've already decked the house out with strobe lights, diabolic red rope lights that surround the doorway, our altar in the living room with various unholy things- chalices with our own blood (we've done diabolical things with this), an ash and dragon's blood ink smeared pig skull, a raccoon skull, and various other symbols of skulls, a lion painting, etc. Soon to be more.
We also have other occultists of sorts working with us.
Me and one of them have decided we just want to destroy shit, and my personal ideal set would be illumination as a side goal.
But what illumination is more illuminated than seeing the raw, primal things of the universe, the old ones, as much as sanity can comprehend them?
I am here because I ask: How can I reach my goal, which is to seek the 'religion of evil' within? The faith which is mere desecration, bloodshed, destruction.
Something in my head snapped recently and I'm suddenly not satisfied until my enemies may be destroyed on a whim.
But what do I need to do to seek this power? What do I need to do to accomplish this will?
For now, I'm pathworking Leviathan as the depths, fear, terror, might, regeneration, and secrets in the depths.
I want to map a 'creed of evil' for myself. So far my ideas are 'daily lesser observances of evil', to perform things people would consider as 'evil' at least a few times on a daily basis, but I truly just want to destroy my foes.
In the meantime, I'm bodybuilding.
As a side note, me and my roomate have decided that Yog-Sothoth will be the assigned gatekeeper of our home. We have a planned working to empower a statue in his name and use it to guard our house.
I've also begun meditating to a degree of success.
Hows the cult doing?
Four months of hell, of living in poverty at a trailer park with my aunts, with just enough money to get high on an almost daily basis. four months of my mother being dependent on her 8th grade dropout boyfriend to support her, because her mind is developed for nothing but sleeping all day.
My family has failed life, but I am independent, with a roomate. I delved and am still delving in Laveyan satanism, having invoked and meditated on Belial for probably two months, and this has led me to live in the midst of the only interesting part of both these half-baked, boring cities- downtown, where all events, festivals, and odd stores make business, including a pagan store (I get odd looks buying black candles labelled as 'expelling negative energy').
At the trailer park a friend gave me some acid, and for a while my ADHD had been cured, and making magick work was a matter of a few seconds of intention focused to a purpose as a prayer to the dark gods.
I live on my own, and by next month me and my Luciferian roomate will have money coming in to buy rediculous things- ritual gear (we've already decked the house out with strobe lights, diabolic red rope lights that surround the doorway, our altar in the living room with various unholy things- chalices with our own blood (we've done diabolical things with this), an ash and dragon's blood ink smeared pig skull, a raccoon skull, and various other symbols of skulls, a lion painting, etc. Soon to be more.
We also have other occultists of sorts working with us.
Me and one of them have decided we just want to destroy shit, and my personal ideal set would be illumination as a side goal.
But what illumination is more illuminated than seeing the raw, primal things of the universe, the old ones, as much as sanity can comprehend them?
I am here because I ask: How can I reach my goal, which is to seek the 'religion of evil' within? The faith which is mere desecration, bloodshed, destruction.
Something in my head snapped recently and I'm suddenly not satisfied until my enemies may be destroyed on a whim.
But what do I need to do to seek this power? What do I need to do to accomplish this will?
For now, I'm pathworking Leviathan as the depths, fear, terror, might, regeneration, and secrets in the depths.
I want to map a 'creed of evil' for myself. So far my ideas are 'daily lesser observances of evil', to perform things people would consider as 'evil' at least a few times on a daily basis, but I truly just want to destroy my foes.
In the meantime, I'm bodybuilding.
As a side note, me and my roomate have decided that Yog-Sothoth will be the assigned gatekeeper of our home. We have a planned working to empower a statue in his name and use it to guard our house.
I've also begun meditating to a degree of success.
Hows the cult doing?