You all can call me any name that you really deem necessary, i don't ascribe myself to much in terms of labels or names. They exist mostly to help us all digest information anyway.
[teal]I'd say you missed the critical details of self image and the occult significance of names. Identity is a most significant detail in a culture of individualism and self-attainment. Also, as data-beings, the digestion of information is pretty essential to our essence. I see you choose to approach humbly, what sort of impressions do you think it will make?[/teal]
[teal]You seem to describe yourself as rational, possibly an introvert? You don't rate commitment, what are your opinions on the risk/reward model?[/teal]
[teal]Your lifestyle seems pretty agreeable. You may find you have difficulty with the Cult's ethics regarding sex.[/teal]
If there are any further questions I am willing to answer any and all. If you so chose to not accept my presence here as an observer and even occasional question asker, I will understand and step away peacefully. Thank you for your time.
[teal]You're more than welcome here, I hope to see your ideas more in future. Expect to be asked a lot of questions. I'd also recommend reading our religious texts,
Cthulhu Cult and
Liber A:O if you are not familiar with the beliefs of the Cthulhu Cultus.[/teal]
Master Kai'zen, thank you for taking the time to read this and respond.
I am terrible when it comes to multi quotes, as far as quoting them, so ill just blanket that and run with it. I hope you don't mind.
So I will number my responses to you.
1. I understand, to a mild degree at least, that names are both significant and have power. My decision to be vague on such a topic is intentional.
How one is addressed is an indicator to who they are believed to be as a person. I as a person find that giving such a name gives people a stance before they are allowed such a moment to ascribe their own ideas as to what they see of you. So I decided to try and remain as neutral as possible on the subject, and allow you all the opportunity of ascribing an identity to myself that you found most suitable.
For instance if you decided to assign a name such as 'wayfarer' 'hollow' or even 'blasphemer', those are all names I would not have chosen for myself but would accept as they are your own ideas into the subject.
If you would like the name most supernatural seem to ascribe to me however I believe 'jO' is what they go by primarily. Small 'j' as it is the support letter for the focus, and base sound 'O.'
As for being humble I find it to be a stance of admitting weakness. To come in and declare I knew more than anyone here, and I was more potent and dominant would be foolish. Why then would I be here? I doubt myself frequently, I feel as if I am a noob essentially(despite being in and out since childhood), and I feel I am completely under-developed. Taking a humble stance is the most pleasant and amicable way that I know to introduce oneself. My hope is that it does not cause any un-necessary ripples and causes the least hardship for all involved.
2. At times I have a tendency to over rationalize, and turn all things into data. At other times, my tendency is to simply feel everything on an emotional level, and just gain understanding from my own emotions. It is not about choosing one stance to remain primary, but about accepting that all forms of processing information have merit. It is then optimal to try and emulate both sides as best as possible. At least in my opinion.
I am going to take a guess that the risk reward model in terms of commitment is to mean that the more commitment the more risk, however you also stand to gain far more from such?
If so, I will say my ability to commit to anything is hindered by previous experience. Committing has caused pain and hardship, and ultimately de-evolution of the self. I have had to fix a lot of problems in both others and myself from this. Which is why I have started keeping my distance to cause others as little pain as possible. Drifting seems to be a strong prerogative in my life and where I am most comfortable and capable.
All of this being said I can commit to a more solid role defined as a dedicated observer if it would make you more comfortable. I don't foresee a circumstance where I would simply leave and not return. It could happen but if that were to become the case I would state as such.
I have the belief each person had their own unique path, and there is no right way to get where you are going. As such I respect and admire peoples choices to go and follow the edicts within their own choices, and I am more than interested to find how they all develop as individuals within a similar system. It's a fascinating and opportunity filled idea.
3. I don't know the cult's ethics in accordance with sex, but i doubt it will be much of an issue. My own stances are not your stances, and you are entitled to your stances as much as I am entitled to my own. Sex is a topic of great debate, and rightly so. Many peoples have a vested interest in the subject. My stance on gender, while aggressive is not outwardly aggressive as it is internally aggressive. My stance on sex is, have fun and be safe. I doubt it will bring up much if any conflict, as I try and avoid conflict to the best of my ability.
4. I plan on making time to read them in the near future, especially since I consider making a small space for myself to watch and learn. How better to learn than to understand the precepts that I watch in action?
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I prefer to answer and comment to everything in reverse order, I apologize for any confusion in advance.
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Venger As'Nas Satanis, I also highly appreciate your time on this topic, and will try to respond with as much explanation as possible.
My hatred of gender roles is deeply rooted into the core of my being, for some large number of years. To directly trace that to its starting points would be a confusing journey, there are simply too many things i do not remember of my time as a child to directly correlate each circumstance with my current loathing of the system. You are correct however in stating that my stance on this is part of my core essence.
The other large part I recall at the moment is my identity issues. I have a hard time ascribing to any solid identity for a few reasons. I do not know, nor understand who or what I am per se. I do not grasp what it is for me to be existing, I don't think I've come to terms with the fact i am a solid breathing object. I simply don't understand so much of myself, and I have a hard time actually binding myself to any singular concept of my own being that it is difficult in that manner. Your own identity is a very important thing for yourself, and I simply do no have answers to my own. This is possibly one of the strongest roots within my core being.
I believe however that gender roles do limit humans. They ascribe certain behavior patterns in connection with your gender. How you dress, how you speak, how you eat, and even how you feel. Each of these things should be your own. You are an individual, not to be owned and run by how society feels your birth requires you to be. It limits the human mind in its thinking. It is destructive to the development of a persons own unique identity, and this is why I have such a consistent hatred of these things. I do not know where this view came from, only that I know what this view is and i believe it helps my growth if nothing else. It is that essential piece of identity I can cling to when all else is lost. That I suppose is how strong it is.
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With all of this said I really do appreciate both of you taking your time to reply, and anyone else taking the time to read this. Your time is precious and valuable, and I can only hope it was not wasted here.
If any of you speak to me outside the view of others, I am not opposed to the idea and will generally conform to whichever channel is best for yourselves.(the few exceptions being something like facebook, as I neither have one nor have any intention to do so).
Any further responses I need to write on the boards will need to wait until a later date. I hope to see plenty more of you all.
Please, have a pleasant day/night.
Don't worry. Be happy. Make Efforts.