Kai'Sigth
Adeptus
Dreaming Herald of the Old Gods
Posts: 32
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Post by Kai'Sigth on Sept 21, 2012 18:20:27 GMT -6
Last week, after reading some Ouspensky the night before, I really began to observe within myself as well as with others just how much time and energy seems to be wasted responding to negative emotions and expressing negative thoughts.
Negativity is consuming; time consuming, emotionally consuming, and energy consuming. If one actually observes oneself we could stand at awe with how much time and energy we spend being negative, expressing negative thought, responding to negative emotion. I know when I first observed this I was taken aback by this.
There have been so many times in the past where I drained myself of precious energy by giving in to anger, to rage even. I noticeably felt fatigued after "cooling down" and wanted to do nothing more than take a nap. This is real, physical energy that I burned by fueling my rage and anger... and what for? The reasons I grew so very angry and burned so much energy are inconsequential when viewed objectively from a cosmic perspective.
How precious little it matters not, the feeble matters of Man contrived.
Why give in to this rage? As Ouspensky said, to (severely) paraphrase "We enjoy giving in to them. We enjoy feeling them."
"The strangest and most fantastic fact about negative emotions is that people actually worship them." -P.D. Ouspensky
I used to grow angry and feed into the anger over the simple annoyances and insignificant matters. For example, one thing that would bother me is if another motorist would tail my vehicle too closely. This would anger me to the point where I almost got into a fight with another driver because I flipped him off for doing so. I also used to become infuriated if someone made a remark about my weight, even if it was in a joking manner. I am sensitive about such a subject and would often grow angry about it. I'd also get upset if my fiancee didn't clean up after herself or if she didn't help me pick up around the house.
This are just some examples of the type of things that would make me angry and on the occurance of these events I'd feed in to my anger every time, even becoming enraged in few cases.
I've come up with several methods to help counter the initial negative emotional response, to create a distraction in myself from them. One cannot always stop onself from feeling these emotions when early on in the Work, for the emotional center is significantly quicker than the intellectual cente; but one can develop methods to prevent oneself from feeding into these emotions.
Upon an initial negative emotional response, I often analyze the reason why I am feeling this way, what exactly about the occurance makes me feel the way I feel. Do I feel threatened? Do I feel as if I am being taken advantage of? What are my "triggers" as I like to call them. By the time I come up with a legitate answer, the initial emotional response has already passed and I have successfully avoided feeding in to the negative emotion.
Another way I avoid expressing my negative emotions is to view the situation objectively. Things often become clear when one tries to expand his or her perspective beyond the subjective viewpoint. Things become almost comical to me about how much it really doesn't matter, in a cosmic sense. So if I know the truth to be that life is purposeless than why should I bother getting upset about silly things, why bother wasting my time and energy giving in to and feeding the fires of anger and negative emotion?
I should add that these are methods that work for me. I can't say that they will work for you but I do challenge you to find your own "proven methods" to distract yourself from the negative response.
Always Remember yourself!
Ia! Ia! Cthulhy fhtagn!
Kai'Sigth
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2012 7:15:59 GMT -6
I've come up with several methods to help counter the initial negative emotional response, to create a distraction in myself from them. One cannot always stop onself from feeling these emotions when early on in the Work, for the emotional center is significantly quicker than the intellectual cente; but one can develop methods to prevent oneself from feeding into these emotions. Upon an initial negative emotional response, I often analyze the reason why I am feeling this way, what exactly about the occurance makes me feel the way I feel. Do I feel threatened? Do I feel as if I am being taken advantage of? What are my "triggers" as I like to call them. By the time I come up with a legitate answer, the initial emotional response has already passed and I have successfully avoided feeding in to the negative emotion. Good !
NOW is the moment of awakening.
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Post by I AM the Way on Sept 24, 2012 10:19:30 GMT -6
Good post, brother. Exalt!
Something that isn't discussed very much is energy wasted on responding to negative emotions. I'm sure most of us feel that some kind of response is necessary... but is it? Can't we just take note of it and continue on our way? If an acquaintance spills a glass of water in our presence, then is it our responsibility to clean it up? What if that acquaintance was a loved one, friend, or stranger, instead? If we believe ourselves responsible, not for causing the spill but for mitigating the damage, then how can we do so in an energy efficient manner?
Awake!
VS
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Post by Cain Da'arnesh on Sept 24, 2012 13:42:49 GMT -6
When I was a child, Donald Duck once gave me some good advice for dealing with things like anger, rage, and frustration. He told me to, "Laugh and count to ten." The idea being that it would have burned off in your mind by the time you got to ten. He didn't say that of course, but at this point, I'm pretty sure that's the idea!
The recent events with my father definitely took a lot more than that. I've experimented with trance work as I'm one to do and have developed a new meditative technique. Whenever I'm consumed by anger, hatred, or fear (the Dark Side as Yoda called it), I go into a quick void trance, meaning that I abruptly stop thinking. Then I feel those negative feelings going through me and "let them go out of my body" so to speak. Visualization is key in this technique for without it, nothing will happen!
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Post by sin on Sept 24, 2012 15:09:29 GMT -6
For me, I say... Don't get so hung up. If I want things done my way, then I do it myself. If another person assumes the responsibility (and badly) then you have to decide how much energy you want to spend going behind them to repair damages.
You can go about your day with a build up of minor irritations they can grow into a big blow up, if you allow it. If you are not so hung up on the minor stuff then it doesn't become major.
Context is everything. When I was a kid, I raged over little things because I was still fuming with anger over the past. Once you let it all go, everything seems trivial. You can't control everything nor predict the unpredictable. If you aren't sweating the small stuff, then when something comes up, you aren't so quick to anger.
If anger does arise you just let it pass over you, through you, and move on. Otherwise, you suffer more when you attach to these temporary emotions. At least, that's what I do. Some things are worth responding to, otherwise you end up a door mat. Doesn't hurt to send out a strong message that you are not one to get over on
CS
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Post by Cain Da'arnesh on Sept 24, 2012 20:40:12 GMT -6
So what you're suggesting here Cora is to instead "pick and choose your battles" so that the majority of your energy is not wasted? Good strategy! And for repeat offenders however, I would advise confrontation, (my father comes to mind) so that you may get it through their thick skull that you are not to be trifled with!
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Post by sin on Sept 25, 2012 6:44:15 GMT -6
So what you're suggesting here Cora is to instead "pick and choose your battles" so that the majority of your energy is not wasted? Good strategy! And for repeat offenders however, I would advise confrontation, (my father comes to mind) so that you may get it through their thick skull that you are not to be trifled with!
Being wise enough to decide which battles are worth it, is the challenge. I agree, some confrontation is necessary or else you'll be treated like that door mat I spoke of
CS
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Post by Cain Da'arnesh on Sept 25, 2012 19:05:43 GMT -6
Being wise enough to decide which battles are worth it, is the challenge. I agree, some confrontation is necessary or else you'll be treated like that door mat I spoke of
CS[/quote] Indeed! Truly one needs thick skin for this life sometimes! I recently found that out the hard way...
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Post by kwaichang on Sept 28, 2012 21:41:46 GMT -6
Don't overlook the Taoist immediate solution to this. When you feel negative feeling coming on and you know they aren't necessary, try deep abdominal breathing. It works better then anything else/
This is all physiology.
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Post by kwaichang on Sept 28, 2012 21:50:57 GMT -6
Remember yourself.
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Kai'Sigth
Adeptus
Dreaming Herald of the Old Gods
Posts: 32
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Post by Kai'Sigth on Sept 30, 2012 18:43:01 GMT -6
So what you're suggesting here Cora is to instead "pick and choose your battles" so that the majority of your energy is not wasted? Good strategy! And for repeat offenders however, I would advise confrontation, (my father comes to mind) so that you may get it through their thick skull that you are not to be trifled with!
Being wise enough to decide which battles are worth it, is the challenge. I agree, some confrontation is necessary or else you'll be treated like that door mat I spoke of
CSThere are times when I question if any battle is really worth it at all. It all seems like a bunch of noise that just interrupts me from Awakening (and most often it does). One can be assertive and dominate without having to be aggressive or respond to negative emotional impulses such as anger. It's much like dealing with dogs. Dogs are pack animals the same as humans and fall into a natural hierarchy within the pack. The most dominate and assertive is often the Alpha. There are times when it seems that life is indeed impossible to live without meeting some sort of confrontation. Especially for individuals like us, who go against the grain of spiritual, political, and mainstream conformity. So I suppose it is indeed inevitable that we will fight at least a few battles in our time here in this prison. AWAKE! Kai'Sigth
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Kai'Sigth
Adeptus
Dreaming Herald of the Old Gods
Posts: 32
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Post by Kai'Sigth on Sept 30, 2012 18:47:00 GMT -6
Don't overlook the Taoist immediate solution to this. When you feel negative feeling coming on and you know they aren't necessary, try deep abdominal breathing. It works better then anything else/ This is all physiology. I'll have to try and remember that the next time I feel the need to give into a negative emotional response. I know there is probably more to this method. How do you got about doing it? Hail Satanis! Kai'Sigth
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Post by kwaichang on Oct 1, 2012 0:14:49 GMT -6
It's super simple. Just breath from your nose into your belly (deep, slow breaths) for a few minutes. Nothing like watching your psychology completely change over a few minutes of deep breathing to help you remember that the totality of your being isn't defined by your emotional responses.
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Post by Cain Da'arnesh on Oct 1, 2012 23:52:09 GMT -6
Seems similar to Kundalini breathing where one breaths in through the nose and exhales through the mouth. This gives maximum airflow and thus maximum benefits to breathing. Which will in turn, enhance whatever state you truly desire to be in. However, it is interesting to note that most of the time, people truly wish they were calm, and thus it's effectiveness is realized...
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Post by whatsupable on Oct 4, 2012 13:56:46 GMT -6
first thanks for this great topic because if it wasn't for this i would probably not have this revaluation today.
at school i we have to deliver our homework at a teacher, and i was late whit the delivery because i was sick so i couldn't hand it to him.
so i got only half the points. this upsets me, and i started to really irritated me about all small things he did. also it wasn't helping that all the others had same feelings of him. Now normally not giving in to negativity and negative emotions has been my stronger point of the fourth way.
or to better say it: it is the thing that has grown the most since i started our path.
but on to the point, i somehow could feel a hatred burning for this person for something that was my own problem (i could easily had handed the homework over by Internet)
yet i for some reason felt entitled for more points, even that i noticed i was expressing negativity i could not stop it so easily as i was used to.
even during class he took extra time to show me what i missed and offert me help if i didn't understood something, i would dismiss it.
that because i felt i still anger to him, even when i knew he didn't do anything wrong.
at some point this all came clear to me that i should let go of it. and i Thought of this treath and that i should go and post these thoughts.
so what i learned today is:
-that i am self remembering but for some reason a "I' was still stronger then me at that moment. -that i am improving on this part and that will help me deal whit other moments like these in live.
Ia Ia Cthulhu Ftagn
Drekth'Ak
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Post by wren on Oct 5, 2012 16:53:24 GMT -6
Firstly, nice post, Kai'Sigth! Thank you for the insight. at some point this all came clear to me that i should let go of it. and i Thought of this treath and that i should go and post these thoughts. When you say you "should" let it go, why is that? I've noticed from myself that the reason for not expressing negative emotions is often the most potent way for me to let them go. For example, I often become angry when told to do simple household chores by my stepfather. While this negative 'I' does have a point here or there, it is useless to me and causes me more trouble than it's worth. Now, I could think, "I must not think this or feel this, the Work says so," but I find that it doesn't help me at all. Instead, I try to change my thinking to something more along the lines of my Aim. I think, "this person is just a Machine, like me. It's useless to get angry at something that can't control itself." This kind of thing works for me. Perhaps you could try it and see? What is your Aim? I recommend trying to remember it when you become negative, it may help. Awake! Wren
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Post by Cain Da'arnesh on Oct 9, 2012 12:31:23 GMT -6
Well Sigmund Freud had an interesting argument which I believe may provide something here. "Before you diagnose yourself with depression, make sure you are not just in fact surrounded by assholes." Meaning that the company you keep can and will have an influence on you as a whole. And so with that in mind, you should keep good company, especially until you learn to better control yourself and your emotions!
Another technique that I've been using to get over this thing with my father is a meditative exercise which may assist you. It can be done virtually anywhere, even while driving. Visualization is the real catalyst here. You start by building up your anger inside you. Feel it's presence and intensity! Then, you release it as you breath out. Watch the red aura of energy exiting your flesh and feel it just pass and go away. By doing this, you become more at peace and better able to control yourself.
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Post by patience on Oct 17, 2012 8:28:31 GMT -6
I agree that there is a lot of energy wasted in always focusing on the negative...or spending a great deal of time expressing negative emotions. It is one of my biggest struggles.
One thing that I get confused on is why discussing feelings is a difficult topic. I feel a lot of things and I tend to want to get feed back from others on how their actions or our actions... or a specific aspect within the relationship is making me feel or creating ambiance with in the relationship. Often people do not like talking about about feelings and automatically shut down as if I am too emotional just because I want to inspect the emotions. At that point when I sense that the discussion is not welcome, I then become... obsessed with the feelings I wanted to discuss... and it at times has become all consuming and i become confused and eventually go through a battery of positions to second guessing myself and then to just feeling disconnected. I know that is a waste of myself and interrupts my own personal work. I am highly aware of this. So it is not such a great things on my end because it only fuels the people around me to look down on me and I end up loosing a sense of stability and feel rejected within the relationship. A lot of times I feel as if certain people are doing this or that thing to gain a foothold over me, to move situations around, or to dictate to me what is 'appropriate' feelings and what is not, which becomes a power struggle. I get frustrated when things are implied... actions are fueled by feelings others have...but no one wants to discuss them.
I have been reading a lot about gas lighting lately. To me when I am in a relationship with someone I want to communicate with them about the dynamics of the relationship. I don't need to do this every second, but I do like to have 'check-ins' and follow ups when I sense things are adjusting with in the relationship dynamic. So If I sense/feel that certain things are going on, and then when i present my concerns, questions and discussion to the person which are denied. I feel like there is something wrong with me, but then when I keep getting the feedback that the person has not been honest with me or maybe it's not me maybe they just have not been honest with themselves, and since we are in a relationship it seems that would be the foundation of an actual relationship...sharing information back and forth in all forms.
Any way that is a part of my own struggles as I grow.
peace
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Post by sin on Oct 17, 2012 9:04:19 GMT -6
Being wise enough to decide which battles are worth it, is the challenge. I agree, some confrontation is necessary or else you'll be treated like that door mat I spoke of
CSThere are times when I question if any battle is really worth it at all. It all seems like a bunch of noise that just interrupts me from Awakening (and most often it does). One can be assertive and dominate without having to be aggressive or respond to negative emotional impulses such as anger. It's much like dealing with dogs. Dogs are pack animals the same as humans and fall into a natural hierarchy within the pack. The most dominate and assertive is often the Alpha. There are times when it seems that life is indeed impossible to live without meeting some sort of confrontation. Especially for individuals like us, who go against the grain of spiritual, political, and mainstream conformity. So I suppose it is indeed inevitable that we will fight at least a few battles in our time here in this prison. AWAKE! Kai'Sigth
Like I said, it's having the wisdom to know which battles have worth and you can certainly battle without anger. I rarely get angry, I laugh a whole lot, even when I'm under attack. People lack a sense of humor, I can't help but quote the Joker here:
CS
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Post by patience on Oct 19, 2012 6:33:24 GMT -6
Is expressing anger always a negative thing? I guess by reading through these postings not always, because sometimes you need to 'protect' yourself. In regards to negativity can't it be subversive as in negative thoughts or fuels a person's motives and motions with in a group or in a relationship. Is it just the expression of a volatile feeling that makes it a waste of energy? Can someone be driven by hatred, jealousy, creating disruption among people, conflict without some outward spastic expression, and still have these 'negative' thoughts and feelings be a waste of their energy. I guess I am just curious about this word 'negativity. Also now I am wondering how does other people's reception of another person's actions become an issue with this concept of 'negativity wastes energy".
One example would be your twitter feed Cora' Sahn which I was following because you fascinate me and I like learning from what you share, but then it seemed like you were involved in a battle with some other group and to me, I felt a lot of negativity from your feeds. So I stopped following you. Now I am not an important follower of yours, I am a nothing so to speak in the great collective that subscribes and feeds into your self-made Internet presence. I am sure on your end the negativity that was expressed had it's purpose and has something to do with the wisdom of picking you battles. I choose this example because your the only one on this website that I have followed and probably is not the best example but the only one I can think of that allows me to connect specifically with you on this topic.
At what point does other peoples' perceptions of a person's negative behavior or tone, not out right expression of a feeling, become an important part of this wastefulness? Or does it have nothing to do with it?
An example from my own personal life: I recently was involved in a lot of negative emotions that developed over how a situation played out with a friend who was imbedded in domestic abuse, 'at least I hit back' mentalities, secret identities to spy on friends out of fear of what they were doing and chalked up her poor behavior to labeling herself as sociopath. I believe her fear and two faced catty behavior...negative expressions of feelings...allowed her to stay trapped in a bad situation. I stayed away from her, she grew angry and told me the friendship was over. So I knew she read my blog, and openly discussed the issues I had with her behavior under the belief that words mean something, and would have some impact on her, in hopes to help her reflect maybe push her to change even the most minute aspects of her behavior, out of concern for her. When I look back over the blog entries, I see that I am being negative, which had a negative impact on how others saw me or fed into their own negative emotions about me. Which I came to recognize in discussing things with others, that my expressions on my blog which were targeting a specific person also affected others who had no idea what I was doing. I don't know if it was wasteful, but I do know that it made it more challenging for me to 'connect' with some people.
So I wonder again: At what point does other peoples' perceptions of a person's negativity become an important part of this wastefulness?
just thoughts and questions.
peace
Don't worry. Be happy. Make efforts.
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Post by sin on Oct 19, 2012 7:51:47 GMT -6
It's a good example. Believe me when I say, I am not offended that you chose to stop following my Twitter. As an outsider, you will have your own perception of what I am up to, and I do use a level of ambiguity to reap results.
In that particular case, my campaign was a success. I may have taken a few personal hits, but I knew that going in. I went into it with full awareness and the possibility that my character would be under assassination. The larger goal was far more important to me than any infamy I would gain from it.
It also stratifies the wheat from the chaff. If a person is willing to invest the time and attention it would require to see the bigger picture, perhaps they may have learned something. If the details were too overwhelming for you, it may be the reason that you felt 'negativity' from my updates. It's a lot to digest.
In the grand scheme of things, I don't owe you a thing. I don't mean that to sound callous, it's simply a truth. What I do, is for me. If another person gains a benefit by proxy, then it's just a cherry on top but I can eat the sundae without cherry topping and it's delicious none-the less. Do you follow?
I suppose, you have to ask yourself WHY you started following me to begin with, and what specifically fascinates you about me? Am I some train wreck to rubber neck at, or are there intricacies at work there, that may be of benefit to you?
In this particular case, you felt 'negativity' and thus severed yourself from the learning process. You can certainly pick it back up, but obviously chunks of the lesson will be missing. It would be like jumping into a college course mid-session and expected to catch up. Is it then my responsibility to fill in the holes for you? Or is the responsibility ultimately yours?
In all fairness, I do warn my followers constantly to stay away from me. I'm not for the faint of heart. I don't live like other people, nor will I behave in a manner that is palatable. I remind them also, that my life is my own. Followers tend to choose their leaders because they feel inspired by them in some way. Then, they project their expectations upon them and expect them to meet their demands. I assure you, I can not be extorted or blackmailed into giving you what you want. I can however offer you this: Ask yourself what you really want, and where you think you'll get it. This may give you a map to follow. There will be many of us out here in the world that lay down the bread crumbs. Keep in mind that sometimes, it's just wise to not eat them, because they may be laced in poison.
At the end of the day, you should be focused on your own life's pursuits. Perhaps, you find the fuel to keep going from others, but remember...There are distractions along the way, and people out here that may be keeping you from hitting your target. Their goals are not yours. Your pursuits are not theirs.
Some people treat life like an ideal. And others live it.
All of it was for you. There's no such thing as a purely altruistic act. Even if you 'believe' you were doing all of it to benefit your friend, you were really doing it to alleviate your own suffering. If at the end of it, you just increased your suffering, then perhaps it was counter productive, but not necessarily a waste of time. There's still a lesson to be learned from it, and that directly benefits you if you learn it well.
CS
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Post by patience on Oct 23, 2012 7:36:10 GMT -6
Good-> ' I am not offended that you chose to stop following my Twitter.' 'If a person is willing to invest the time and attention it would require to see the bigger picture, perhaps they may have learned something. If the details were too overwhelming for you, it may be the reason that you felt 'negativity' from my updates. It's a lot to digest.' - well based on the fact that i was dealing with being reconnected with my daughter that i placed for an adoption and had been waiting 18 years... I choose to stop following you because there was a lot going on in my life and by following you it was not helping me at the time, just adding to the stream of information that i had to wade through which became an issue of 'focus'. so I had bigger things going on and need to re-situate myself. I may follow you again... as my life even outs and i adjust to the new energy that has been introduced into my life... I will have more ability to extend myself outward into further areas. 'I don't owe you a thing. I don't mean that to sound callous' - it does not read or come off as callous...because i feel the same way about many things.... 'I suppose, you have to ask yourself WHY you started following me to begin with, and what specifically fascinates you about me? Am I some train wreck to rubber neck at, or are there intricacies at work there, that may be of benefit to you?' - i know exactly why I started following you... the combination of you being a satanist, a woman, a mother and because you have drawn attention to yourself via paganspace. The satanist part is of GREAT interest to me because I grew up or was raised to fear satan... and part of my journey is to repair myself through working backwards on all my 'issues' and confronting stuff. You project a powerful woman, and I myself am drawn to those who project power as well as I would like to learn how one who does such a thing and works within the various realms of life. You are a mother...and I am one too... Sometimes on paganspace you have such a wealth of knowledge I have wanted to know more about what you know, same with a bunch of other people I pay attention to. Sometimes on paganspace I perceived your reactions to others as this or that...and I wanted to know if I was 'correct' in my perceptions. curiosity, learning about others...there for in the end learning about myself. ) "In this particular case, you felt 'negativity' and thus severed yourself from the learning process.' - I have not severed myself from the learning process. as in...no one stops learning, that's not how it works in my opinion. I have refined and moved my focus from one place to another... as in 'here i am' on this site today... but I was busy and needed to conserve energy for other areas of my life. "I do warn my followers constantly to stay away from me.' - oh. well if everyone stayed away you would have none. but I get that. sometimes I feel like i just don't want to deal with everyone who wants to feed off me and interject their crap into my life based on their 'interpretations' of my motions... so I get it.... I like this quote '“Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” -Albert Camus... but some people should just stay away from me lol...and if they are going to follow me...they should put a great distance between me and them. Distance is a great padding. 'Ask yourself what you really want, and where you think you'll get it. This may give you a map to follow. There will be many of us out here in the world that lay down the bread crumbs. Keep in mind that sometimes, it's just wise to not eat them, because they may be laced in poison.' - I am very curious about poison.... one man's poison is another man's antidote. i read that somewhere ;o) 'All of it was for you. There's no such thing as a purely altruistic act. Even if you 'believe' you were doing all of it to benefit your friend, you were really doing it to alleviate your own suffering. If at the end of it, you just increased your suffering, then perhaps it was counter productive, but not necessarily a waste of time. There's still a lesson to be learned from it, and that directly benefits you if you learn it well.' you are right... i was also relieving stress... after sitting through so many hours of her negative energy...her ability to talk over me or derail a conversation that was my way of being a friend to her... led to me feeling frustrated in the friendship and not finding any value in it. Frustrated in the lack of honest communication. Once i had the 'freedom' to speak openly on my blog after the friendship was over and she was not around to physically talk over me... it became a great exploration into what pisses me off about certain behavior as well as a place to go back to if I ever need to...to remember that this is what happens when i am paired in such mix matched energy sucking relationship with a person who relies on the image of themselves as being a 'hungry ghost'. As well as shaking up others and working on other aspects of different relationships...because it gave me an opportunity to discuss things with others I would have never just brought up out of the blue. It has been helpful though at some points I felt the sting of my choice to openly explore these things. nothing is for nothing... it all works out. BUT I also know that words are powerful, and if the relationship was real to her...and if she did care about me...that gives more power to the words... and that to see her self through my angry eyes is a mirror of sorths. The information was taken into her subconscious. If she read it...she is going to take it in...and it could take time to mix and wrap it's self with what she knows to be true and right. I am not the one to know what is true and right for her, but I do have an idea based on the relationship we created together...that she can be more than a drug addicted, reciever of abuse, violent abuser, snarky, vindictive jealous victim... I HAVE FAITH in the power of words paired with a real relationship. The friendship was real....so I know what I felt and thought matters a little to her... no matter how she plays the outward actions to save face or to just grow stronger...and that is the foundation I was drawing from to send my information out to her. Thank you for responding. I do appreciate your input. peace Don't worry. Be happy. Make efforts.
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Post by sin on Oct 24, 2012 11:30:51 GMT -6
I agree, you never stop learning. Some lessons are harder than others, and some come more slowly as you relapse to old habits.
The input, is just that, input for you to process to serve your own needs.
Some 'reactions' you observe on PS are with purpose, and you might consider it 'data-mining'. It might help you understand it better.
Feel free to ask questions and 'react' at will for your own data-extrapolation. I have no aversion to providing it.
As for 'poison', you are correct. A poison may in fact be the anecdote for an ailment.
CS
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Post by glade on Oct 29, 2012 7:54:52 GMT -6
So what you're suggesting here Cora is to instead "pick and choose your battles" so that the majority of your energy is not wasted? Good strategy! And for repeat offenders however, I would advise confrontation, (my father comes to mind) so that you may get it through their thick skull that you are not to be trifled with! I'm really bad about getting angry at something or someone and letting it play over and over in my mind. It ruins my day, my creativity, and drains my energy. I've been to my doctor and ask "why can't I let it go?" Still trying to get an answer to that. AWAKE!
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Post by I AM the Way on Oct 29, 2012 8:11:04 GMT -6
I'm really bad about getting angry at something or someone and letting it play over and over in my mind. It ruins my day, my creativity, and drains my energy. I've been to my doctor and ask "why can't I let it go?" Still trying to get an answer to that. AWAKE! Do you mean a medical doctor or a psychiatrist? I assume the latter. This is a 4th Way problem and should be addressed with 4th Way techniques provided by 4th Way Masters. Don't ask a computer specialist how to tame a lion.
Awake!
VS
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Post by sin on Oct 29, 2012 8:30:30 GMT -6
I agree with Venger. The issue here is you are letting your imagination play out negative scenarios, and you are attaching to the negative emotions that you are producing. It can be draining, you loose focus and this is why you feel a lack of the creative energy.
You can practice exercises and if/then scenarios.
IF... I start focusing my energy on negative imaginings... THEN... I will set off a trigger to shock my system.
It's basically some of the techniques that a psychologist would use. In the field of psychiatry, they are looking for some sort of chemical imbalance or biological abnormality that might be regulated with medications. The last thing you want is to be some medicated zombie because you can't cope with your own center.
The trick then, is figuring out what works for you as an individual. Is it meditation, mental exercises, taking physical actions, etc.
Since you mention your lack of creativity, you might practice something like automatic writing or some kind of creative expression like drawing, painting, sculpting, etc. It could be a way to work the kinks out and nurture your creative side. Maybe you suck at drawing, but that doesn't matter much. It's the exercise.
An associate of mine 'doodles'. That's what he calls it.
the-roaming-eyes-of-chaos.tumblr.com/image/33692781775
Just a suggestion. Experiment, try different things until you discover what works.
CS
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Post by patience on Oct 30, 2012 10:17:09 GMT -6
Some 'reactions' you observe on PS are with purpose, and you might consider it 'data-mining'. It might help you understand it better. CS- I know a lot about this. I employee this process often enough on my blog and other sites as well. The tricky part that I am constantly running into is sorting delusions, ego puffery and misinformation based on events outside 'my field of vision'. One thing that helps me remember that I don't know everything is by watching people who think they know everything about me...who push an opinion that is based on a presentation I made via the Internet, their lack of understanding of the big picture or opinions that constantly draw upon their own short comings, prejudices and yadda yadda. So these are things I am learning...it has been an interesting experience. I think it all helps me learn about people, myself and eventually I know I will find the 'right' people. I have already found a few that jive with me. But that took work. Work through exploration. I have had and will continue to have the right experiences that taught and continue to teach me more about life and with that knowledge I can help build the kinds of relationships I want to have. Mostly I would like to find a few girlfriends that I can bond with and contribute something to but not be taken advantage of covertly nor outright. Same goes with being bossed around. I don't want a relationship where I am spoken to indirectly but instructed through stories, because the person speaking is balless, a liar and blames it on my 'cute' factor. They become frustrated with me and blame me for their anger. Wasteful. That's not a relationship of value for me. I also don't want to be some play thing for kicks and giggles. Or some object that allows another to claim me as their saved possession. That is disturbing. I have met some very disturbed yet very convincing people who are image oriented. Drains within the types of relationships I am looking for. These things I have written about above...of the 'wrong' types and 'right' aspects I need with in a friend have come out of my own ''data-mining'. I will never give up seeking those who are kind, honest, reflective, not over powering yet direct and sincere. These are things I am learning about. That is the purpose of my 'data mining' to see what I am dealing with, to seek out those who will be a good fit with me. Seeing the negative, reviewing my own negative experiences...learning from them to create better things in the future. peace and blessings Don't worry. Be happy. Make efforts.
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Post by sin on Nov 1, 2012 5:30:28 GMT -6
I understand.
I think its a matter of being more aware when choosing your friendships. Even if they are merely Internet 'friends'. In the real world, I think people are too careless, or oblivious to signs screaming in their face.
This is why I distinguish 'friends' from 'acquaintances'. You can be acquainted with many people, but have very few friends.
Friendships can often be one-sided. You may regard a person to be your friend, but they may regard you as simply someone they associate with.
The values of friendship can often be either assumed or projected onto others.
CS
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Post by patience on Nov 6, 2012 22:17:24 GMT -6
I understand.
I think its a matter of being more aware when choosing your friendships. Even if they are merely Internet 'friends'. In the real world, I think people are too careless, or oblivious to signs screaming in their face.
This is why I distinguish 'friends' from 'acquaintances'. You can be acquainted with many people, but have very few friends.
Friendships can often be one-sided. You may regard a person to be your friend, but they may regard you as simply someone they associate with.
The values of friendship can often be either assumed or projected onto others.
CS- well I know a lot about one-sided friendship and jerks. I do like to learn about people over all I offer friendship to others because I find the concept of creating a relationship with another interesting and I learn a lot from people, I think maybe I seek out people who will show me, share different ways of living with me. Any way...blah blah blah. Sometimes I feel like I don't have any friends because everyone is fake and competitive or looking for one niche to over power you. I would love to view it as passing on inspiration, motivation but over all people are cruel and mean. I have been learning a lot about it inside and out. I notice my own self doing that in certain ways as well... so it's an observation I see in others and in myself. Making me just the same, unifying.... in that realization I sometimes feel annoyed because it kind of tramples on this Utopian perfect relationship I strive to find (at times). I do love to dream big. lol When things fail in relationships I have to try and remember that my expectations were mismatched with theirs. It can take me sometime to feel secure in that thought though. Obvious to most people who know me, I feel things deeply and I work that and turn things over and over till i have analyzed & fully experienced many sides to an event. This is very much a part of my human experience. Being somewhat of recluse by nature early on in my life. Shying away from experiencing relationships and what not. On one hand it is a hindrance in the moment, on the other hand it is a building block for me to learn from. so be it. My heart still beats and I still get out of the bed enthused about life (most days lol). Peace Don't worry. Be happy. Make efforts.
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Post by sin on Nov 7, 2012 14:48:07 GMT -6
Learning valuable lessons often take falling down a few times, to figure out how to avoid the fall in the future.
The hard part is remembering the lessons in the moment.
CS
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