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Post by egodiabolus on Oct 16, 2010 9:45:27 GMT -6
One of the most difficult aspects of the Work for everyone, and I mean everyone, is right at the beginning. To really begin on the path of self-development and awareness toward Awakening, you must first recognize and understand that you are asleep, that you have to start at zero. No matter how vast your experience and how knowledgeable you may be, you must be willing to cast aside all of it and humbly begin as a novice. As you develop, those experiences and tools you have developed may be of some value, but initially all they do is prevent you from proceeding.
It is a struggle, to separate yourself from all that you have learned and accomplished, and accept that you are a tyro willfully trying to relearn all that you have learned. So many of our "I"s, our personal points of identity, are built on those achievements and experiences... our egos (no pun intended) refuse to let us see clearly without those filters of personal identity. The more you come to the Work with, the harder it is to let go. It is necessary, though, to do just that in order to begin to see and understand the self objectively. Once we have that understanding of self, then we can begin evaluating all those things that were so important to us before our struggle, and from our new perspective determine what is worthy of retaining, what needs changed, and what should remain cast aside.
I have seen so many people come to this forum, and after a cursory review of our materials state "I am Awake!" It is a dead give-away that they are in fact still asleep, and indeed they wish to remain that way. The Work is the of the path of the sly man, but it is not a simple path, and not a path were one can assume anything, especially their personal state of being. It is also evident in those that come here and assume that their titles and stated experience should have some value to the rest of us. What we value, as they quickly discover, are not the things they say they have done, but the effort and talent they demonstrate here. It is difficult to be a big fish in a small pond, then to hop ponds and return to being a small fish.
Reading Gurdjieff, Ouspensky, Nicoll, and others, I have yet to come across them stating that they were, in fact, Awake. Instead, the point to the struggle to be Awake, that awareness is a state of being that is only maintained through conscious effort, and they point to accomplishments which suggests those who performed those tasks were Awake while engaged in those processes. They describe types of awareness, Men 1-7, but I have not found where they describe themselves as a particular type, only that some they observe seem at times be more relatively aware than they themselves. The idea that is consistent is that each of these stages are simply "mile-markers" which one can use to assess their progress, but again can only be maintained through conscious effort.
The Work is an illuminated path, in that we have been told what it is, how to walk it, and given an idea of where it leads. On this path, it is important to walk each step. You cannot start in the middle and expect to have any sense of where you are, nor can you rush down the path. These will lead you to being lost, and needing to return the beginning and start again. Instead, each step must be walked consciously, with an effort to understand and appreciate each effort, every progression, making the path your own. You cannot make something your own that is learned through the experience of others, it must be experienced for the self. Just reading about it is not enough.
Begin at the beginning, starting at zero, and take the time to examine and learn about yourself. You will be amazed by what you discover, and find the effort is well worth the rewards.
Awake!
Ego Diabolus Priest of R'lyeh Cult of Cthulhu
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Post by xiaogui17 on Oct 16, 2010 14:39:54 GMT -6
It is, unfortunately, impossible to give a standing ovation on the internet. I suppose I will begin by exalting you.
Declaring oneself as already “awake” is selling oneself short. I would be very disappointed if where I am now were as far as I was ever going to get! It is only by acknowledging how far I have yet to go that I can actually hope to get that far.
One phrase I have always considered meaningful is from Robert Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land, a sci-fi Tarzan story about a human (Michael Valentine Smith) raised among Martians and then brought back to Earth. He frequently says, “I am only an egg,” presumably a common humilifying expression on Mars.
It describes a being that is not yet developed, full of potential not yet realized. An egg has yet to grasp how vast the universe is; the egg is its universe. “Hatching” is awakening, and seeing outside the confines of one’s current conceptual limits.
Valentine has telekinetic abilities and still calls himself “only an egg.”
Vanessa oola bahl koth. The Great Work has just begun.
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Post by ieuan on Oct 16, 2010 17:31:46 GMT -6
Thank you for this thread Master Diabolus. I admit I am one that needs some humbling. Yes I am asleep, this is a pretty humbling realization. A novice I am and I need to start at ground zero, I would greatly appreciate if you could give me guidance as to where to start or what would be step one? My thinking process is one of by the numbers. Is there some type of self evaluation critique that I could utilize as a tool to give me guidance? I understand that one can go thru the motions and still be asleep. I have read the fourth way, the Cthuhlu Bibles, and I am currently reading the Power of Now. This is what I have done so far, now I am in the process of studying and applying the methods from the fourth way book. I like to read an entire book first, to get an overall perspective, and then go back and study and apply the teachings. I am probably getting way to far ahead of myself, I am trying to make sense of The teaching in the fourth way and apply them. Realizing that I am asleep, I probably no nothings, other than my own interpretations and this applies throughout the Cult's teachings, except for what I have learned from the threads. Your guidance will be greatly appreciated including guidance from our High Priest, Cthulhu Priests, and fellow Cultist. Maybe I can get off this race I am on, I admit I have that mechanical drive to run, but it is like you said I don't want to be in the middle and just continue to go around in a circle, I understand this is an individual path of self observation, action and applying, but if I don't learn the path here, verify, and receive feedback from my fellow cultist, to me it is just all speculation on my part, other than verifying by self observation and remembering. I do have a ton of questions. Example is how can one identify at what type of man he is, 1, 2, or 3, how does one get from one type to the other with some assurance that he is making progress, and just isn't asleep imagining progress. I am willing to learn and apply the Cult of Cthulhu process of ascension. Thank you and thanks to my fellow Cultist. Hail Cult of Cthulhu.
The Great Work has just begun
Ieuan Herald of the Old Gods Cult of Cthulhu
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Post by boksmutant on Oct 16, 2010 18:19:19 GMT -6
I am pissed I dont have the Ouspensky book yet(The Fourth Way). Thank Azatoth Ive learned as much as i have from you all. I read through some of the post's at least once a day & have found them very valuable in preparing myself for an eventual,& total commitment. I tried meditating last night & failed. Im normally at least able to relax my body to a focused point & just chill. But my mind just kept wondering. This angers me. Im very impatient. One must definitely realize that enlightenment can't come all at once. And if it did, it would not be built upon a strong enough foundation.
By the green light that eliminates.
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Post by egodiabolus on Oct 16, 2010 18:47:38 GMT -6
I am pissed I dont have the Ouspensky book yet(The Fourth Way). Thank Azatoth Ive learned as much as i have from you all. I read through some of the post's at least once a day & have found them very valuable in preparing myself for an eventual,& total commitment. I tried meditating last night & failed. Im normally at least able to relax my body to a focused point & just chill. But my mind just kept wondering. This angers me. Im very impatient. One must definitely realize that enlightenment can't come all at once. And if it did, it would not be built upon a strong enough foundation. By the green light that eliminates. What does meditation mean? I ask this because there are so many different meanings and methods to meditation. Perhaps the pop-standard of quieting the body and the mind is not the way you quiet your internal chatter. Perhaps you do it by focusing intently on some task, like drawing or bicycling. If you find one method for meditation does not meet your expectations, then try another.
What you did accomplish, simply allowing yourself to relax and "chill" is an excellent start. Ask yourself what your goal is in meditation. For example, if it is to quiet the mind, simply try for a few seconds at a time. Try to be in the moment, observing your surroundings and yourself with all five of your senses at once, without passing judgment or attempting to make sense or pattern from what you see. Don't define, just experience.
Ia Ia Cthulhu Fhatgn!
Ego Diabolus Priest of R'lyeh Cult of Cthulhu
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Post by xiaogui17 on Oct 16, 2010 18:49:33 GMT -6
I am pissed I dont have the Ouspensky book yet (The Fourth Way). You can read it here: www.scribd.com/doc/6137893/The-Fourth-Way-UspenskyI'm sorry to hear you've had difficulty, but remember that nothing valuable is easy to obtain. I wish you well. Awake!
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Post by egodiabolus on Oct 16, 2010 18:53:06 GMT -6
It is, unfortunately, impossible to give a standing ovation on the internet. I suppose I will begin by exalting you. Declaring oneself as already “awake” is selling oneself short. I would be very disappointed if where I am now were as far as I was ever going to get! It is only by acknowledging how far I have yet to go that I can actually hope to get that far. One phrase I have always considered meaningful is from Robert Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land, a sci-fi Tarzan story about a human (Michael Valentine Smith) raised among Martians and then brought back to Earth. He frequently says, “I am only an egg,” presumably a common humilifying expression on Mars. It describes a being that is not yet developed, full of potential not yet realized. An egg has yet to grasp how vast the universe is; the egg is its universe. “Hatching” is awakening, and seeing outside the confines of one’s current conceptual limits. Valentine has telekinetic abilities and still calls himself “only an egg.” Vanessa oola bahl koth. The Great Work has just begun. You grok. Thank you. Thou art God. May you always drink deep may you never be thirsty.
Ia Ia Cthulhu Fhatgn!
Ego Diabolus Priest of R'lyeh Cult of Cthulhu
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Post by egodiabolus on Oct 16, 2010 20:21:36 GMT -6
Thank you for this thread Master Diabolus. I admit I am one that needs some humbling. Yes I am asleep, this is a pretty humbling realization. A novice I am and I need to start at ground zero, I would greatly appreciate if you could give me guidance as to where to start or what would be step one? My thinking process is one of by the numbers. Is there some type of self evaluation critique that I could utilize as a tool to give me guidance? I understand that one can go thru the motions and still be asleep. I have read the fourth way, the Cthuhlu Bibles, and I am currently reading the Power of Now. This is what I have done so far, now I am in the process of studying and applying the methods from the fourth way book. I like to read an entire book first, to get an overall perspective, and then go back and study and apply the teachings. I am probably getting way to far ahead of myself, I am trying to make sense of The teaching in the fourth way and apply them. Realizing that I am asleep, I probably no nothings, other than my own interpretations and this applies throughout the Cult's teachings, except for what I have learned from the threads. Your guidance will be greatly appreciated including guidance from our High Priest, Cthulhu Priests, and fellow Cultist. Maybe I can get off this race I am on, I admit I have that mechanical drive to run, but it is like you said I don't want to be in the middle and just continue to go around in a circle, I understand this is an individual path of self observation, action and applying, but if I don't learn the path here, verify, and receive feedback from my fellow cultist, to me it is just all speculation on my part, other than verifying by self observation and remembering. I do have a ton of questions. Example is how can one identify at what type of man he is, 1, 2, or 3, how does one get from one type to the other with some assurance that he is making progress, and just isn't asleep imagining progress. I am willing to learn and apply the Cult of Cthulhu process of ascension. Thank you and thanks to my fellow Cultist. Hail Cult of Cthulhu. The Great Work has just begun Ieuan Herald of the Old Gods Cult of Cthulhu This is much to respond to, so I am going to go point-by-point.
-Thank you for your compliments. I am glad you are inspired by this post.
-Step One is always self-observation and self-remembering. Another way to think of it is to try to be present; not thinking about the past, not worried about the future, just present with where you are and what you are doing here and now.
-When you think you have that down, begin analyzing you; your behaviors, your mannerisms, your ideals, your biases. Think about every criticism ever leveled at you and through self-analysis and objectivity try to determine if there was something to their opinions.
-Struggle to resist your normal patterns. As a means of challenging the self, begin going without things you enjoy. Could be as simple as giving up Pepsi, or as involved in foregoing television. It is not meant to be a permanent condition, only create for you an opportunity to observe yourself in an adverse condition and learn. You could also do the reverse, indulge in something you find distasteful. Again, this could be as simple as eating daily a food that you dislike but is healthy, to participating in a forum where ideas are presented that you disagree with and SUPPORT them regardless. This is a temporary test meant to break down the way you are self-identified.
-List every assumed identifier for yourself; human, female, 25, wife, sister, daughter, lover, jealous, tall, overweight, funny, sarcastic, intellectual... Make the list exhaustive. Then analyze each one, asking "why" and what that title means to you. Seek an objective understanding, define each title as finitely as possible and see if it still applies.
-Take things slowly. Struggle, but struggle positively.
-Part of self-observation involves the observation of others, comparing and contrasting. Share your ideas and get feedback!
-Observe yourself and you will begin to see what type of awareness you have; Man 1, 2, or 3... maybe even Man 4. Understand that you will fluctuate, especially in the beginning. Man one sees things physically, like when you just want to eat, sleep, or fuck. I am often Man 1. Man 2 sees things emotionally, he fears, worries, is angry, is in awe, is in love. Man 2 comes and goes in me. Man 3 sees things intellectually; he applies logic which may be accurate or flawed, and sometimes inappropriate. He creates and follows rules. Man 3 is probably my default setting.
Man 4 recognizes that he is asleep, that he can Awaken, and that he must struggle to do so. I strive every conscious moment to be Man 4, and conscious moments can be very rare.
-In my opinion, you do not "get to" Man 4, 5, 6, or 7. Each is an occasional state of being... an occasional and finite level of awareness. Man 4 is the awareness that something is not right, and that you must try to see it. Man 5 sees a great deal of what is true about himself. Man 6 sees a great deal about what is true about the world, and Man 7 sees with perfect clarity. Each stage is fleeting. You have had moments of Man 7 clarity, just as you have had moments of Man 1 physical motivation. The important thing is to consciously Work to be more aware than you are now, ever more observant, and ever more participant.
-Man 4 often does not know he is Man 4. He thinks he is Man 1, 2, or 3, which is part of his motivation to struggle. When he is more consistently Man 5, he may in fact think he is Man 4, because the effort, though more frequent and longer lasting, is still an incredible struggle. Man 6 may think he is still Man 5 because though he understands things better than before, he still is uncertain, and requires conformation. Man 7 may think he is Man 6, because even with perfect clarity he still struggles to understand and to make the most of his understanding. These Men can never be certain what level they are at. Only the expression of their awareness through their deeds is an indicator, more often recognized by others than themselves.
-The discussion of Man 1-7 is not meant to define the struggle to Awaken or create an artificial structure, it is only a means for discussion about the process. Do not struggle to be Man 4. Instead, struggle to be more aware, more present, and more participant than you are now. Men 4-7 don't care that they are Men 4-7, they just strive to be ever more Awake.
Awake! You are well on your way.
Ego Diabolus Priest of R'lyeh Cult of Cthulhu
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Post by lucofthelight on Oct 16, 2010 20:55:24 GMT -6
One of the most difficult aspects of the Work for everyone, and I mean everyone, is right at the beginning. To really begin on the path of self-development and awareness toward Awakening, you must first recognize and understand that you are asleep, that you have to start at zero. No matter how vast your experience and how knowledgeable you may be, you must be willing to cast aside all of it and humbly begin as a novice. As you develop, those experiences and tools you have developed may be of some value, but initially all they do is prevent you from proceeding.
It is a struggle, to separate yourself from all that you have learned and accomplished, and accept that you are a tyro willfully trying to relearn all that you have learned. So many of our "I"s, our personal points of identity, are built on those achievements and experiences... our egos (no pun intended) refuse to let us see clearly without those filters of personal identity. The more you come to the Work with, the harder it is to let go. It is necessary, though, to do just that in order to begin to see and understand the self objectively. Once we have that understanding of self, then we can begin evaluating all those things that were so important to us before our struggle, and from our new perspective determine what is worthy of retaining, what needs changed, and what should remain cast aside.
I have seen so many people come to this forum, and after a cursory review of our materials state "I am Awake!" It is a dead give-away that they are in fact still asleep, and indeed they wish to remain that way. The Work is the of the path of the sly man, but it is not a simple path, and not a path were one can assume anything, especially their personal state of being. It is also evident in those that come here and assume that their titles and stated experience should have some value to the rest of us. What we value, as they quickly discover, are not the things they say they have done, but the effort and talent they demonstrate here. It is difficult to be a big fish in a small pond, then to hop ponds and return to being a small fish.
Reading Gurdjieff, Ouspensky, Nicoll, and others, I have yet to come across them stating that they were, in fact, Awake. Instead, the point to the struggle to be Awake, that awareness is a state of being that is only maintained through conscious effort, and they point to accomplishments which suggests those who performed those tasks were Awake while engaged in those processes. They describe types of awareness, Men 1-7, but I have not found where they describe themselves as a particular type, only that some they observe seem at times be more relatively aware than they themselves. The idea that is consistent is that each of these stages are simply "mile-markers" which one can use to assess their progress, but again can only be maintained through conscious effort.
The Work is an illuminated path, in that we have been told what it is, how to walk it, and given an idea of where it leads. On this path, it is important to walk each step. You cannot start in the middle and expect to have any sense of where you are, nor can you rush down the path. These will lead you to being lost, and needing to return the beginning and start again. Instead, each step must be walked consciously, with an effort to understand and appreciate each effort, every progression, making the path your own. You cannot make something your own that is learned through the experience of others, it must be experienced for the self. Just reading about it is not enough.
Begin at the beginning, starting at zero, and take the time to examine and learn about yourself. You will be amazed by what you discover, and find the effort is well worth the rewards.
Awake!
Ego Diabolus Priest of R'lyeh Cult of Cthulhu Awesome post Master Diabolus. I know this to be true, especially when beginning the Great Work. There was a time when I thought I was special and elite just because I read and practiced some of the literature of Satanism and had talents or gifts for certain things.
When I first began the Work it was extremely difficult to admit to myself that these were(from an objective sense) unfounded and over-exaggerated. When I began really looking at myself, I hadn't really accomplished that much, only in my own mind. So after learning the hard truths and seeing what a liar and fraud I had become it at least facilitated a return to zero, setting in motion a flow in the right direction. There is so much Work to be done and we are fortunate that viewing our self delusions post the return to zero tends to give us the necessary motivation to pursue the Path more fervently.
The analogy of the egg was great Xiaogui17. Perhaps when Lovecraft talks of the horrors of the cosmos he is referring to the hatching of the egg to reveal the true reality of man's position.
By his Loathsome Tentacles!
K'ara Kaiul Esoteric Wizard of the Terrible Darkness Cult of Cthulhu
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Post by ieuan on Oct 16, 2010 21:56:09 GMT -6
I appreciate you Master Diabolus, thank you! This was exactly what I was looking and asking for, guidance from a Master of the "Work", to get me on my way. Reading the fourth way books are excellent, but with books alone, I can only draw my own conclusions, with guidance, feedback, and by me sharing my experiences of the "Work" with a fourth way master and my fellow cultist, this will give me positive feedback as to how well I am working the work, and how aware I am becoming, and also hopefully help my fellow cultist, I know it is just not all about me, for alone no one can escape, but a "few" can, this is one of my favorite lines from the fourth way book. This is so excellent, you spelled it right out for me, the way my brain processes everything, by the numbers. I didn't know how to perceive man 1-7, I thought they where stages one obtained, now I know, wow by myself my conclusions will keep me asleep, I do believe you have given me the key to unlock that first door, thank you Master Diabolus!This is absolutely a goldmine for me, and thanks for simplifying this for me. You absolutely have my commitment to you, my fellow cultist, and the Priesthood of The Cult of Cthulhu.
Now is the moment of Awakening!
Ieuan Herald of the Old Gods Cult of Cthulhu
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Post by egodiabolus on Oct 17, 2010 6:19:54 GMT -6
I appreciate you Master Diabolus, thank you! This was exactly what I was looking and asking for, guidance from a Master of the "Work", to get me on my way. Reading the fourth way books are excellent, but with books alone, I can only draw my own conclusions, with guidance, feedback, and by me sharing my experiences of the "Work" with a fourth way master and my fellow cultist, this will give me positive feedback as to how well I am working the work, and how aware I am becoming, and also hopefully help my fellow cultist, I know it is just not all about me, for alone no one can escape, but a "few" can, this is one of my favorite lines from the fourth way book. This is so excellent, you spelled it right out for me, the way my brain processes everything, by the numbers. I didn't know how to perceive man 1-7, I thought they where stages one obtained, now I know, wow by myself my conclusions will keep me asleep, I do believe you have given me the key to unlock that first door, thank you Master Diabolus!This is absolutely a goldmine for me, and thanks for simplifying this for me. You absolutely have my commitment to you, my fellow cultist, and the Priesthood of The Cult of Cthulhu. Now is the moment of Awakening! Ieuan Herald of the Old Gods Cult of Cthulhu Again, you're very welcomed. I am glad my advise has helped. I am not a "master" of the Work, and my own experience is itself limited. I may only be a few steps ahead of you on that path, describing my own progression for the benefit of others. I am looking forward to reading about your own progression and experiences in the future, and will no doubt be learning and inspired by your efforts as you are from mine.
K'ara Kaiul makes an excellent observation, based on xiaogui17 insightful and much appreciated statement. We are each eggs, limited by the shell of our false perceptions and assumptions about ourselves and our world. "Reality" can prove to be radically different, especially in regards to our self-identity. The "horror" of our actual state can be less pleasant than the tentacled minions of Mighty Cthulhu.
Thankful, we have the time and awareness to learn and take and active role in shaping our own reality.
Ia Ia Cthulhu Fhatgn!
Ego Diabolus Priest of R'lyeh Cult of Cthulhu
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Post by Apsara Kamalli on Oct 17, 2010 10:04:11 GMT -6
When I first began the Work it was extremely difficult to admit to myself that these were(from an objective sense) unfounded and over-exaggerated. When I began really looking at myself, I hadn't really accomplished that much, only in my own mind. So after learning the hard truths and seeing what a liar and fraud I had become it at least facilitated a return to zero, setting in motion a flow in the right direction. There is so much Work to be done and we are fortunate that viewing our self delusions post the return to zero tends to give us the necessary motivation to pursue the Path more fervently.
I think we all experienced this at one time or another. I remember when my boyfriend first started applying what he was learning of the Fourth Way into our lives, and we started the debates about the spirituality of this. So much of what he was bringing to our discussions didn't feed my ego very well, and I found myself beginning to question all things about myself, regardless of how ingrained they had become into my being.
I remember the shift in my meditations and how completely terrified I was at times at the realizations the Fourth Way was influencing.
This was good.
There are times when I still find myself so sure of a belief that I get caught up in it. I doubt that I have yet returned all the way to zero. There are times when I find that I have to rip myself away from situations and analyze it from a different perspective. But this is the way of the Work. Each moment of Awakening that I experience makes the effort required in the Work more and more worth it.
Awake!
Apsara Kamalli Esoteric Wizard of Terrible Darkness Cult of Cthulhu
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Post by lucofthelight on Oct 17, 2010 15:06:04 GMT -6
When I first began the Work it was extremely difficult to admit to myself that these were(from an objective sense) unfounded and over-exaggerated. When I began really looking at myself, I hadn't really accomplished that much, only in my own mind. So after learning the hard truths and seeing what a liar and fraud I had become it at least facilitated a return to zero, setting in motion a flow in the right direction. There is so much Work to be done and we are fortunate that viewing our self delusions post the return to zero tends to give us the necessary motivation to pursue the Path more fervently.
I think we all experienced this at one time or another. I remember when my boyfriend first started applying what he was learning of the Fourth Way into our lives, and we started the debates about the spirituality of this. So much of what he was bringing to our discussions didn't feed my ego very well, and I found myself beginning to question all things about myself, regardless of how ingrained they had become into my being.
I remember the shift in my meditations and how completely terrified I was at times at the realizations the Fourth Way was influencing.
This was good.
There are times when I still find myself so sure of a belief that I get caught up in it. I doubt that I have yet returned all the way to zero. There are times when I find that I have to rip myself away from situations and analyze it from a different perspective. But this is the way of the Work. Each moment of Awakening that I experience makes the effort required in the Work more and more worth it.
Awake!
Apsara Kamalli Esoteric Wizard of Terrible Darkness Cult of Cthulhu
So true Apsara Kamalli. I would even go as far to say that those with more social pressures to conform to the norms of society such as in the case of raising children, having a high level of responsibility within their careers or having friends and family close to them that are heavily influenced by mass media, religion and fashion would have a hard time contemplating the ideas of the Fourth Way.
But that is the way with the System, it is practiced within the normal parameters of daily life. It is not about total escape, but about lessening the needless suffering.
For many of us the beginning stages are almost like losing our mind. The ego for a time has to abandoned on the rocks of the shoreline, pounded by the crashing waves for us to be able to venture inland and discover what is truly there. After some time one may go back to retrieve the ego and piece it back together in it's rightful place as a tool.
Awake!
K'ara Kaiul Esoteric Wizard of the Terrible Darkness Cult of Cthulhu
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Post by boksmutant on Oct 21, 2010 0:34:04 GMT -6
So true,so true. To start at zero is one of my main goals. I have so much to erase."You must unlearn what you have leared". What bothers me is that I still hold on to a little of that rebelion. Its very deep. Its anger. Ill say more later.
As for meditation, your totally right. Ive since seen how my mind is so easily distracted & have to just relax & not try & force it. It comes so much easier that way.
By the way....Im embarrassed to ask, but Im still learning the computer & I dont know how to quote what you guys say. I see you all do it all the time. But I spent eight years off the grid & Im just relearning the computer stuff again.
Awake!
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