Post by nixx on Apr 7, 2010 16:57:17 GMT -6
For the past few months I have been engaged in work with the Simon Necronomicon, specifically it's self-initiation through the Gates. This, coupled with Fourth Way practices of self-observation, has led me to some interesting revelations about myself.
One of the major discoveries I had was the fact that I am a food addict & have been for the better portion of my life. A couple of years ago, I became an ovo/lacto vegetarian, as through experimentation I discovered that my personal energy flowed better adopting this diet. Since I began walking the Gates, I have fallen into an almost strictly vegan diet; I do at times have milk products such as cheese & the occasional confection, but for the most part, I stay away from any animal food products.
At first, I didn't put much stock in this thinking it was just due to the detox I was doing in preparation for gate walking, but after i began the first Gate, the next day I went out & got Taco Bell, which is one of my favorite meals (or was) & regretted for the next week & a half having some major stomach & bowel issues. I am not lactose intolerant, nor do I have any food allergies, so while Taco Bell might not be the best thing to put into one's body, its certainly never had such a grievous effect on me.
More pointed than that was my emotional state. I was literally filled with barely controlled rage coupled with bouts of utter depression. This lasted for the same amount of time as the physical symptoms. While I have been diagnosed with ADD & have occasional bouts of temper & depression, they have never been so out of control or come on as quickly. I immediately began analyzing the experience through self-observation & trying to pin down root causes of these issues. Part of this was due to being in a Gate, as this can be equated to male menstruation on all levels. We don't bleed the red stuff, but the act of Walking the Gate brings us into contact with the issues within our psyche that relate to that particular Gate. This was my first hypothesis & for a few days I left it at that. My physical symptoms went away & I started feeling better. I ate vegan for a couple of days after & my emotional state became markedly better; not perfect, but I wasn't flying into blind rages at the drop of a hat or wanting to slit my wrists. Then it came around the time of the Spring Equinox which my family celebrates in lieu of Jesus Zombie Day.
During that weekend, I took a break from my vegan diet & had chocolate & some dishes that had cheese in them. The physical symptoms promptly returned, as did the mental & emotional problems. I also noticed that my occult work suffered dramatically; I did my work half ass, if at all & while I planned a number of things to work on, I slacked off. This continued for about a week until the eureka! light went off in my head & it all hit me like a ton of bricks; it was what I was ingesting.
I fully admit that this may be a completely personal experience, but I offer it here in case there is something to it that will benefit others. I began really meditating on what I knew about what goes along with the meat products we ingest. On a purely physical level, the sanitary standards of most meat processing facilities leave much to be desired. There are so many door ways for contamination from thousands of sources, its not even funny. Insects, parasites, diseases, pharmaceuticals, you name it, its probably in there.
Add to that the trauma the animals go through when slaughtered & even farmed for their milk. Those emotional & mental states release chemicals in the animal's body that permeates their tissues & secretions, both of which are ingested by humans. When you eat meat, you are ingesting massive amounts of fear, depression, rage, & not to mention, hopelessness. If you think about the lives of most livestock, they are made to obey. The fruit of their bodies is stolen from them, their children are stolen from them, their bodies are abused their entire lives, & once their usefulness is ended, they are slaughtered in the most inhumane ways that can possibly be contrived & their flesh, bones, & fluids are fed to not only humans, but their own kind which continues to perpetuate this cycle; ever wondered what "enriched" feed was? It's feed mixed with the "unsaleable" parts of other animals. So, if you think about it, between forced slavery & cannibalism, is any wonder the world is in the state its in. I'm thinking the universe & the lesser gods are having a good old laugh at our expense for the system they inspired us to create.
Another interesting fact is that humans were never meant to be carnivores. Eating meat is a learned behavior that has been handed down since our prehistory which suggests it is even more in line with the agenda of the universal misery machine. If you wish to check these facts I'm presenting, my main sources for this information are the books "Yoga & Vegetarianism" & "Skinny Bastard." Skinny Bastard in particular is extremely well researched & offers further sources that can be investigated to verify my claims.
Further, if we look at more esoteric sources such as the christian bible. For those of you who are familiar, I'm referring to the Cain & Abel story. What many do not know is that this story is a metaphor for our struggle to awaken to our true natures. Abel representing our conscious slave self & Cain representing our true infernal being. Abel followed the directions of the universe & offered meat for his sacrifice, while Cain offered vegetables & grains. His offering was spurned because it stood in opposition to the universe's pogram of slavery & spoke of man following the ways of the Old Ones as opposed to the ways of the lesser gods. Cain's next act was the destruction of the ego or the sleeping self controlled by the universe & the lesser gods which he gave back to it. The metaphor follows that he was cast out bearing a mark that prevented any being from harming him. This suggests that his act of ego destruction & embracing his true self separated him from the control of the universe & also allowed him access to all places & all times, as it says in the bible that he became a "tramp & a vagabond".
I've digressed a bit, but the previous example does make a major point in favor a vegetarianism. At one time & still in some cases, people ate meat to absorb the strength & spirit of the animal to enhance themselves & also granting a measure of immortality to the animal as its spirit would live on through them; is that really the case with livestock. If you think about it on that level, what is it you are truly nourishing your spirit with & what qualities are you partaking of? Misery & slavery to the very machine you are trying to escape from.
I have a challenge for anyone with the balls to take it. Don't eat meat or meat products for one week; that doesn't seem like too great a challenge does it? Keep a record of your experiences on all levels & see if you notice a difference. Engage in more acute self observation than usual during this time & post what you come up with in this thread. I'm interested to find out if my experience is a singular one or if there is validity to this argument on a greater spectrum. I'm anxious to see your results.
When the Stars are Right!
One of the major discoveries I had was the fact that I am a food addict & have been for the better portion of my life. A couple of years ago, I became an ovo/lacto vegetarian, as through experimentation I discovered that my personal energy flowed better adopting this diet. Since I began walking the Gates, I have fallen into an almost strictly vegan diet; I do at times have milk products such as cheese & the occasional confection, but for the most part, I stay away from any animal food products.
At first, I didn't put much stock in this thinking it was just due to the detox I was doing in preparation for gate walking, but after i began the first Gate, the next day I went out & got Taco Bell, which is one of my favorite meals (or was) & regretted for the next week & a half having some major stomach & bowel issues. I am not lactose intolerant, nor do I have any food allergies, so while Taco Bell might not be the best thing to put into one's body, its certainly never had such a grievous effect on me.
More pointed than that was my emotional state. I was literally filled with barely controlled rage coupled with bouts of utter depression. This lasted for the same amount of time as the physical symptoms. While I have been diagnosed with ADD & have occasional bouts of temper & depression, they have never been so out of control or come on as quickly. I immediately began analyzing the experience through self-observation & trying to pin down root causes of these issues. Part of this was due to being in a Gate, as this can be equated to male menstruation on all levels. We don't bleed the red stuff, but the act of Walking the Gate brings us into contact with the issues within our psyche that relate to that particular Gate. This was my first hypothesis & for a few days I left it at that. My physical symptoms went away & I started feeling better. I ate vegan for a couple of days after & my emotional state became markedly better; not perfect, but I wasn't flying into blind rages at the drop of a hat or wanting to slit my wrists. Then it came around the time of the Spring Equinox which my family celebrates in lieu of Jesus Zombie Day.
During that weekend, I took a break from my vegan diet & had chocolate & some dishes that had cheese in them. The physical symptoms promptly returned, as did the mental & emotional problems. I also noticed that my occult work suffered dramatically; I did my work half ass, if at all & while I planned a number of things to work on, I slacked off. This continued for about a week until the eureka! light went off in my head & it all hit me like a ton of bricks; it was what I was ingesting.
I fully admit that this may be a completely personal experience, but I offer it here in case there is something to it that will benefit others. I began really meditating on what I knew about what goes along with the meat products we ingest. On a purely physical level, the sanitary standards of most meat processing facilities leave much to be desired. There are so many door ways for contamination from thousands of sources, its not even funny. Insects, parasites, diseases, pharmaceuticals, you name it, its probably in there.
Add to that the trauma the animals go through when slaughtered & even farmed for their milk. Those emotional & mental states release chemicals in the animal's body that permeates their tissues & secretions, both of which are ingested by humans. When you eat meat, you are ingesting massive amounts of fear, depression, rage, & not to mention, hopelessness. If you think about the lives of most livestock, they are made to obey. The fruit of their bodies is stolen from them, their children are stolen from them, their bodies are abused their entire lives, & once their usefulness is ended, they are slaughtered in the most inhumane ways that can possibly be contrived & their flesh, bones, & fluids are fed to not only humans, but their own kind which continues to perpetuate this cycle; ever wondered what "enriched" feed was? It's feed mixed with the "unsaleable" parts of other animals. So, if you think about it, between forced slavery & cannibalism, is any wonder the world is in the state its in. I'm thinking the universe & the lesser gods are having a good old laugh at our expense for the system they inspired us to create.
Another interesting fact is that humans were never meant to be carnivores. Eating meat is a learned behavior that has been handed down since our prehistory which suggests it is even more in line with the agenda of the universal misery machine. If you wish to check these facts I'm presenting, my main sources for this information are the books "Yoga & Vegetarianism" & "Skinny Bastard." Skinny Bastard in particular is extremely well researched & offers further sources that can be investigated to verify my claims.
Further, if we look at more esoteric sources such as the christian bible. For those of you who are familiar, I'm referring to the Cain & Abel story. What many do not know is that this story is a metaphor for our struggle to awaken to our true natures. Abel representing our conscious slave self & Cain representing our true infernal being. Abel followed the directions of the universe & offered meat for his sacrifice, while Cain offered vegetables & grains. His offering was spurned because it stood in opposition to the universe's pogram of slavery & spoke of man following the ways of the Old Ones as opposed to the ways of the lesser gods. Cain's next act was the destruction of the ego or the sleeping self controlled by the universe & the lesser gods which he gave back to it. The metaphor follows that he was cast out bearing a mark that prevented any being from harming him. This suggests that his act of ego destruction & embracing his true self separated him from the control of the universe & also allowed him access to all places & all times, as it says in the bible that he became a "tramp & a vagabond".
I've digressed a bit, but the previous example does make a major point in favor a vegetarianism. At one time & still in some cases, people ate meat to absorb the strength & spirit of the animal to enhance themselves & also granting a measure of immortality to the animal as its spirit would live on through them; is that really the case with livestock. If you think about it on that level, what is it you are truly nourishing your spirit with & what qualities are you partaking of? Misery & slavery to the very machine you are trying to escape from.
I have a challenge for anyone with the balls to take it. Don't eat meat or meat products for one week; that doesn't seem like too great a challenge does it? Keep a record of your experiences on all levels & see if you notice a difference. Engage in more acute self observation than usual during this time & post what you come up with in this thread. I'm interested to find out if my experience is a singular one or if there is validity to this argument on a greater spectrum. I'm anxious to see your results.
When the Stars are Right!
