|
Post by Yahn'ikthorn on Feb 9, 2008 14:47:50 GMT -6
(I just started typing some random love poem thing in the message field and this is what came up.)
I want to know where you are your exact location in timespace so I may come and stand before you to offer myself as sacrifice to lie at your feet to be trampled on & forgotten and discovered again it's been quite a while don't you think?
dying silently in a pool of blood I'll remember I'll trace the memory of when we first met at the dawning dancing and screaming in the void flying at the stars through them feeling the burning of their nuclear fires melting us into each other inseparable, elemental
in love? perhaps though not as most perceive it maybe closer to hate yet beyond both I want to kill you I have done it so many times as have you done to me can you remember? we used to like it dying, million times a day from our violent caresses abusing our immortality for pleasure and punishment for our lust to escape each other and to end up embracing once again
where have you gone? I can feel you close in my time, yes not far, not far at all I know you're coming preparing for the bloodshed as am I
how long will I have to wait? oh well, I've got time it's been so long I want to hold you again you know what it means oh the blood and the screams!
come on... we're gonna have fun... once again...
|
|
|
Post by youma on Feb 10, 2008 12:51:52 GMT -6
The atmosphere and title made me think that if I had a time machine, I'd go fuck my future self. And by future self, I mean corpse. I'm not gay, but that particular case would be hot wouldn't it?
Youma = not a nice lady
|
|
|
Post by indigo on Feb 10, 2008 18:01:26 GMT -6
I rarely complement poems. One of my crew has written at least two dozen but I have never given her a hint of praise. With that in mind, this is beautifully written.
|
|
|
Post by Yahn'ikthorn on Feb 11, 2008 1:12:27 GMT -6
It's and ode to my past/future soulmate whom I intend to find in this lifetime, and who I have known for many lifetimes, ages ago... hastily composed, but I like it. I might continue this one later, I think.
|
|
|
Post by benjamin on Feb 12, 2008 18:31:37 GMT -6
This is a fine poem!
It could have been corny, but it is a sincere quest and this has guided the language, which is direct and has its' poetic ornamentation in what it suggests, as much in the song or color: and because it does not shrink from anything conceptually it fills itself out--this kind of decadent poem is all or nothing and there is no surer way to a messy nothing than going half-way.
I feel you have a complete poem; it will be interesting to see what might still grow off of it.
|
|
|
Post by Yahn'ikthorn on Feb 13, 2008 1:14:20 GMT -6
I think this is pretty much as stream-of-consciousness as I can type, so I'm not responsible to/for/of anything. Easier to read than your poems at least! ;D
|
|