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Post by sin on Mar 17, 2009 9:32:50 GMT -6
What does the 'calling' mean to you, what does it mean to be called?
To me, it's restlessness. The state of being, that is half-awake, half-asleep but I want ... What do I want?
What would it mean to be fully asleep? Perhaps a complete submission to a delusion I've applied to myself.
What would it mean to be fully awake? Reaching a higher-level of consciousness, awareness - but how high? Is there a limit? Should I be striving towards this, and if so - what does it mean exactly?
If I have been true to myself, my thoughts and my desires - am I a false identity? Is awareness discovering the true self, or applying a new delusion of a self that is more true?
More questions, questions...is the calling the answer or is it a new path, a road less traveled towards even more challenging questions?
I examine, always examine. I dissect, I destroy because through destruction comes reconstruction. Something different? Something just mildly altered?
The Calling. What does it mean to be called? Am I being called, or am I doing the calling?
Pick up the phone.
If I ring once, it's a code - a metaphor.
If I ring twice, it's more practical - answer it.
What will I say? What will you say? How would we respond to each other? Am I true or am I false? I, I, I, I...
Ia, Ia! I am? I am?
What am I? Am I real? Am I false? Am I both? Does it have to be one or the other, all or nothing?
Ring...
Ring...Ring...
Will you answer the call?
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Post by Xor'Nefthrahm on Mar 17, 2009 10:05:13 GMT -6
What does the 'calling' mean to you, what does it mean to be called? To me, it's restlessness. The state of being, that is half-awake, half-asleep but I want ... What do I want? What would it mean to be fully asleep? Perhaps a complete submission to a delusion I've applied to myself. What would it mean to be fully awake? Reaching a higher-level of consciousness, awareness - but how high? Is there a limit? Should I be striving towards this, and if so - what does it mean exactly? If I have been true to myself, my thoughts and my desires - am I a false identity? Is awareness discovering the true self, or applying a new delusion of a self that is more true? More questions, questions...is the calling the answer or is it a new path, a road less traveled towards even more challenging questions? I examine, always examine. I dissect, I destroy because through destruction comes reconstruction. Something different? Something just mildly altered? The Calling. What does it mean to be called? Am I being called, or am I doing the calling? Pick up the phone. If I ring once, it's a code - a metaphor. If I ring twice, it's more practical - answer it. What will I say? What will you say? How would we respond to each other? Am I true or am I false? I, I, I, I... Ia, Ia! I am? I am? What am I? Am I real? Am I false? Am I both? Does it have to be one or the other, all or nothing? Ring... Ring...Ring... Will you answer the call? Well said.. and in your words before, "I hunger!" I desire MORE, MORE KNOWLEGE, MORE POWER, MORE OF EVERYTHING! The calling is an endless process, you hear it comming down the path, but there seems to be no end to the trail. The music calling me is just as far as it ever was. In the words of Led Zepline "Your head is humming and it wont go, incase you dont know.. the piper's calling you to join him!". It is an everchanging, eternal path. IS there an end? Or only a begining?
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Post by sin on Mar 17, 2009 10:16:45 GMT -6
Endless would suggest that there is something beyond death. I am doubtful. Perhaps the restlessness, the feeling that we are running out of time - is true, the only truth. None of us are getting out of here alive, get what you can, while you can.
To believe there's something more, another level of existence is another delusion, a falsehood. Sometimes these things serve a purpose, it provides some with solace. Why do people believe in ever-after's in the first place? Hope. Hope is a staple.
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Post by Xor'Nefthrahm on Mar 17, 2009 20:52:43 GMT -6
I have come in contact with too many spirits to NOT believe in an afterlife, but I do NOT believe that we go to some fire and brimstone place, or a shining white place for that matter. The most recent case is the spirit of my dead grandmother. We haven't seen each other for almost a decade, and I didn't cry about her death, as she was suffering from cancer. Yet me and my wife that night had an "issue" with our drawers in the bathroom opening and closing. I had a dream about her saying that the pain is gone. And a pair of dress socks of my dads the day OF the funeral were neatly folded, how SHE used to when he was a kid, not rolled how he leaves them. That is just ONE example of an experience that I have had. I DO NOT know if there is a second death where the energy finally disperses. I have also experienced EVPs that were clear as daylight. One said "we're in your house!" hehe. THAT is why I believe there is more. Maybe it is just temporary, and there is a second death, if there is, I WILL find a way to cheat it somehow. Survive with consciousness transfered into an astral body, vampiricly feeding off the living for eternity perhaps? I do have SOME experience in psy/chi/prana vamping. I believe that we stay HERE, just in another reality, a parallel universe as you will. Of course these are just MY beliefs, and I dont intend to force them on anyone else. I dont expect to convince you Cora'Sahn IN an afterlife because after all, what do we REALLY know? I could be wrong..
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Post by sin on Mar 18, 2009 7:49:15 GMT -6
I dont expect to convince you Cora'Sahn IN an afterlife because after all, what do we REALLY know? I could be wrong.. I'd chalk it up to a UPG (Unverifiable Personal Gnosis). You very well could be wrong, and it could be a perception issue. I mean, there's a shit-ton of things that have happened throughout my life that I can not explain in all certainty; however just because I can't explain it doesn't mean I've experienced something that 'exceeds' nature, or 'normal' occurrences. As far as I'm concerned, if there were a 'spirit' realm, or 'otherside' it would be commonplace, and there would be no need for 'special circumstances' to see 'spirits'. Again, it's your UPG and you will never be able to convince me, I would have to experience it for myself. AND even then, I would question it and examine it.
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Post by Xor'Nefthrahm on Mar 18, 2009 9:18:50 GMT -6
I dont expect to convince you Cora'Sahn IN an afterlife because after all, what do we REALLY know? I could be wrong.. I'd chalk it up to a UPG (Unverifiable Personal Gnosis). You very well could be wrong, and it could be a perception issue. I mean, there's a shit-ton of things that have happened throughout my life that I can not explain in all certainty; however just because I can't explain it doesn't mean I've experienced something that 'exceeds' nature, or 'normal' occurrences. As far as I'm concerned, if there were a 'spirit' realm, or 'otherside' it would be commonplace, and there would be no need for 'special circumstances' to see 'spirits'. Again, it's your UPG and you will never be able to convince me, I would have to experience it for myself. AND even then, I would question it and examine it. I DO believe that there is a scientific explanation for ghosts and hauntings, I just believe we are just NOW getting the equipment to be able to detect such subtle things. I believe when mandkind was more intune with their senses, we probably COULD see spirits no problem. I can sense them an see them in a black mirror, but that is about as far as it goes with me.
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Post by sin on Mar 19, 2009 9:13:55 GMT -6
Esbara'kesh,
I've always said, I'd love to see some hard scientific evidence. If that can be provided - you might just make a believer out of me. Until then, I'm content with your UPG - it's just not mine is all.
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Post by jmsn72 on Mar 19, 2009 9:37:14 GMT -6
What does the 'calling' mean to you, what does it mean to be called? To me, it's restlessness. The state of being, that is half-awake, half-asleep but I want ... What do I want? Nice way of putting it. Does it ever seem to feel like there are things that have to be done but little time by which to do it.Its hard for me to explain,I'm not even sure what those things are...like a sense of...I dunno urgency. Don't believe in spirits or things although I have seen things and lazily drifted through a plane (astral?Unconscious..dunno).Things felt urgent there too. Maybe we as an entire species will be punching th clock sooner than later and its a wake up call for the few who listen? I digresses.Restlessness was the best way of describing it that I have seen by far.The moving I's wanna do...but what?All I can do is assume that there is no time like now!
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Post by Xor'Nefthrahm on Mar 19, 2009 10:27:07 GMT -6
Esbara'kesh, I've always said, I'd love to see some hard scientific evidence. If that can be provided - you might just make a believer out of me. Until then, I'm content with your UPG - it's just not mine is all. No im not trying to convince you, im just letting you know there are reasons for my beliefs, unlike the average person (christian?), who only believes in things because they are told they are so. We should question everything. Is it our will alone that makes spirits exist? Do they exist to me because my personal paradagim allows them to? Are they really aspects of ourselves, willed into existance? OR are they independant of our existance? Maybe all of the above? Or maybe something different. THAT is something I am trying to find out someday. I will continue my work with spirits of the dead and never-living untill I hopefully discover the truth. What does the 'calling' mean to you, what does it mean to be called? To me, it's restlessness. The state of being, that is half-awake, half-asleep but I want ... What do I want? Nice way of putting it. Does it ever seem to feel like there are things that have to be done but little time by which to do it.Its hard for me to explain,I'm not even sure what those things are...like a sense of...I dunno urgency. Don't believe in spirits or things although I have seen things and lazily drifted through a plane (astral?Unconscious..dunno).Things felt urgent there too. Maybe we as an entire species will be punching th clock sooner than later and its a wake up call for the few who listen? I digresses.Restlessness was the best way of describing it that I have seen by far.The moving I's wanna do...but what?All I can do is assume that there is no time like now! I believe that spirits exist on the astral plane, and that our astral bodies MAY exist beyond physical death. But yes, the calling is a restlessness for me.. a desire for more. Yet a feeling of nastalgia, a desire for the world to return to primordial nature. Just "KNOWING" that there is more to existance than this illusion that we see, "KNOWING" our potential, the path, is limitless. A discordiant piping, never ending, always drawing us down the twisting, crooked path, down the spine of the great serpent, and into the unknown.
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Post by sin on Mar 19, 2009 13:19:21 GMT -6
Esbara'kesh, I've always said, I'd love to see some hard scientific evidence. If that can be provided - you might just make a believer out of me. Until then, I'm content with your UPG - it's just not mine is all. No im not trying to convince you, im just letting you know there are reasons for my beliefs, unlike the average person (christian?), who only believes in things because they are told they are so. Oh, I know you are not. No worries there. And, in all fairness - not all Christians just blindly believe what they are told. Many have their own UPG's. Once, after doing an extremely Pagan ritual with me, my Aunt ( raised Catholic) felt guilty about it - so she went to church ( she hadn't been since before her children were born 20+ years). She claims she felt the hand of God on her shoulder. She certainly could not convince me she felt God, but with tears in her eyes - she truly believed it, and in it. It rekindled her faith. It was her UPG. Indeed we should, which is why you see more and more people looking to alternatives in religion and philosophy vs. blind following. See, that's the thing - you are looking for your personal truth, your reality. In mine, they don't exist outside the mind, but then again - neither do I (especially as a collective).
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Post by Xor'Nefthrahm on Mar 19, 2009 13:31:40 GMT -6
No im not trying to convince you, im just letting you know there are reasons for my beliefs, unlike the average person (christian?), who only believes in things because they are told they are so. Oh, I know you are not. No worries there. And, in all fairness - not all Christians just blindly believe what they are told. Many have their own UPG's. Once, after doing an extremely Pagan ritual with me, my Aunt ( raised Catholic) felt guilty about it - so she went to church ( she hadn't been since before her children were born 20+ years). She claims she felt the hand of God on her shoulder. She certainly could not convince me she felt God, but with tears in her eyes - she truly believed it, and in it. It rekindled her faith. It was her UPG. Indeed we should, which is why you see more and more people looking to alternatives in religion and philosophy vs. blind following. See, that's the thing - you are looking for your personal truth, your reality. In mine, they don't exist outside the mind, but then again - neither do I (especially as a collective). I suppose that is the point of LHP.. everyone must take their own path.
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Post by jmsn72 on Mar 19, 2009 13:35:53 GMT -6
I believe that spirits exist on the astral plane, and that our astral bodies MAY exist beyond physical death.
But yes, the calling is a restlessness for me.. a desire for more. Yet a feeling of nastalgia, a desire for the world to return to primordial nature. Just "KNOWING" that there is more to existance than this illusion that we see, "KNOWING" our potential, the path, is limitless. A discordiant piping, never ending, always drawing us down the twisting, crooked path, down the spine of the great serpent, and into the unknown.[/quote]
Aw shucks,so thats what they were ,spirits?Lol ,just kidding.I'vee seen things like that in the astral but I never like to acknowledge they exist. They could be illusions. Given they are real (l which I will not publicly acknowledge since there's no way to make scientific measurements in a realm that may not even truly exist by scientific standards...aww hell the astral realm and its denizens are real enough to me)though,things astral side seem restless at least last I went which was a few years ago.
In fact there was a sense of impending something or another from the humanoid and less human things over there.I was never able to connect to that realm after that though,brain denied me access to the window (in my mind before leaving the body,there literally used to be a window I'd pass through before entering that plane)by which to exit this corporeal form.Its been years since I went there and years since I had a dream about Cthulhu and the other Lovecraftian forms which I believed at the time was being called by something but I coulda been mistaken back then(only happened once)and years since last had an OBE or astral experience.I am curious about something so I have a request.
To any of you who have OBEs and frequent the astral realm,please let me know if that place (realm has any feel or different feeling to it) specifically to the more experienced practitioners who may frequent that realm.Is there a sense of urgency or restlessness in that realm as well.
I could not get there even if I wanted because my brain has setup safegaurds in recent years to defend against paranormal metaphysical experiences since I used to be under attack by things of that nature.It will be a difficult set of reflexes to break,my mind is trying to root itself firmly in the physical world despite a majority of me wanting to escape this gross physical realm.I porpbably sound crazy...but Im not (yet).
I think the calling would be felt by any who enter that astral realm these days but IM not sure which is why I ask.
If any see this as a delusion of some sort...so be it I guess.
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Post by I AM the Way on Mar 19, 2009 14:00:22 GMT -6
the unfortunate part is that people take their unverifiable personal gnosis or religious experience and drop it into the nearest chute in front of them. this is the blind conformity that robs spirituality of any deeper meaning. little do these people know that they are throwing their religious experience into a trash chute where it will never do anyone any good.
and then there are some who keep their UPG in their pocket, frequently examining it from various angles. if religious experience leads to action instead of following the crowd (like most christians), then it can be useful.
do you think that atheist or agnostic ideology can grow from or be influenced by a metaphysical moment of personal truth?
VS
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Post by Xor'Nefthrahm on Mar 19, 2009 14:10:48 GMT -6
the unfortunate part is that people take their unverifiable personal gnosis or religious experience and drop it into the nearest chute in front of them. this is the blind conformity that robs spirituality of any deeper meaning. little do these people know that they are throwing their religious experience into a trash chute where it will never do anyone any good.
and then there are some who keep their UPG in their pocket, frequently examining it from various angles. if religious experience leads to action instead of following the crowd (like most christians), then it can be useful.
do you think that atheist or agnostic ideology can grow from or be influenced by a metaphysical moment of personal truth?
VSYou are right, when we experiance personal gnosis, we SHOULD examine it more instead of just sorting it in our mind and tossing it into a catagory. That is why I will continue my experimenting with the dead and inhuman spirits. I'm the kind of person, if I dont know something, it bothers me untill I find out what it is. And I cant decide if spirits are in our own personal reality and mind, or if they DO exist independantly. Maybe part of it IS a quest for validation on life after "death", but another part just wants to know damnit! I want to know everything I can, and put it to good use.
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Post by Xor'Nefthrahm on Mar 19, 2009 14:14:27 GMT -6
Damn. This topic has DERAILED! Im making a new topic.
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Post by sin on Mar 20, 2009 13:36:35 GMT -6
[/b][/color][/quote]
Certainly it can. At one time I was a Hard Atheist, now - I am a Strong Agnostic. My thought processes changed over time, with growth and development. I reject absolutes with regard to philosophical ideas. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a natural skeptic, I love my skeptical inquiry and hard science - but that doesn't mean that I'm closed off to the many possibilities, as well as my own UPG's. I know what I know, and I can't prove it.
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Post by I AM the Way on Mar 20, 2009 14:04:17 GMT -6
i'm more interested in atheist or agnostic paradigms stemming from religious experience. could an unverified moment of personal gnosis or feeling of supernatural guidance / interference cause someone to become less theistic and more atheistic or agnostic? basically, a reversal of the usual way religious experiences affect us.
VS
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Post by sin on Mar 21, 2009 5:40:48 GMT -6
i'm more interested in atheist or agnostic paradigms stemming from religious experience. could an unverified moment of personal gnosis or feeling of supernatural guidance / interference cause someone to become less theistic and more atheistic or agnostic? basically, a reversal of the usual way religious experiences affect us.
VS Yes, I think most people give up on 'faith' or 'belief' because they don't experience their own UPG. I can't say in all certainty that I rejected the religion of my parents as a small child due to the lack of evidence, I think it was more 'gut' than anything. I can tell you from personal experience as a small child subjected to abuse, down on my knees crying and praying for this merciful God to help me, to save me from it - and when no help ever came, I had to take matters into my own hands - perhaps even that could be considered a revelation, a UPG. The firm decision made at such a young age to say, "all this, this is a lie!" Was enough for me to take charge, to take action on behalf of myself. LaVey's words ring in my head at the moment, 'The God You Save, May Be Yourself'.
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Post by Yahn'ikthorn on Apr 1, 2009 2:35:54 GMT -6
One thing I know about the Calling is that once you hear it, it's not exactly easy to get rid of it... which is perhaps what I tried to do a year ago but look where I am once again.
Damn you Venger and your stealthy brainwashing which makes everything feel so awesome!
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Kai'Sigth
Novitiate
Dreaming Herald of the Old Gods
Posts: 10
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Post by Kai'Sigth on Jan 21, 2010 17:23:08 GMT -6
What does the 'calling' mean to you, what does it mean to be called? To me, it's restlessness. The state of being, that is half-awake, half-asleep but I want ... What do I want? What would it mean to be fully asleep? Perhaps a complete submission to a delusion I've applied to myself. What would it mean to be fully awake? Reaching a higher-level of consciousness, awareness - but how high? Is there a limit? Should I be striving toward this, and if so - what does it mean exactly? If I have been true to myself, my thoughts and my desires - am I a false identity? Is awareness discovering the true self, or applying a new delusion of a self that is more true? More questions, questions...is the calling the answer or is it a new path, a road less traveled towards even more challenging questions? I examine, always examine. I dissect, I destroy because through destruction comes reconstruction. Something different? Something just mildly altered? The Calling. What does it mean to be called? Am I being called, or am I doing the calling? Pick up the phone. If I ring once, it's a code - a metaphor. If I ring twice, it's more practical - answer it. What will I say? What will you say? How would we respond to each other? Am I true or am I false? I, I, I, I... Ia, Ia! I am? I am? What am I? Am I real? Am I false? Am I both? Does it have to be one or the other, all or nothing? Ring... Ring...Ring... Will you answer the call? I've had similar thoughts and questions. I constantly ask more questions then I can find answers for, I do not fear truth as others may so in return I do not fear to ask the more difficult questions. I often ask; "Does any of this actually matter?" By "any of this" I mean life, human existence. Isn't life meaningful by only which you define it? Isn't reality in fact subjective? Hopefully through the Work I will find some answers that I can be satisfied with. For now, I will continue to study and question all things. Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!
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Post by tavthe on Dec 5, 2010 22:30:07 GMT -6
Early on, the calling felt more tangible or substantial than anything that socialization or indoctrination could have instilled within me at that time. Not realizing it until reading this discussion, I had made notes and filed the UPG away, but the gaping emptiness always re-emerged, with a tapping on my shoulder to make me turn 'round and take notice of its non-static reality. Multiple occurrences are more likely to get my attention than just once or twice. Although sometimes when ordinary reality breaks down long enough to witness peculiar events only once, it makes me wonder.
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Post by boksmutant on Dec 6, 2010 1:36:44 GMT -6
Good concept. All they taught you was how to fit in, as if that was the greatest teaching you could possibly learn. Their eyes still light up when given a chance to teach you further this thing they know. Life. But is that what their really teaching us?
What a stunted & buried view. The droning of their voices must sicken Cthulhu. So much truth being wasted on their potential.
If we awaken, our soul & experience can be used for a greater purpose. We will be carried up into the void. Absorbed into Cthulhu we will traverse his mind & past, or lack there of as we go further into places & times unknown. Seeing the things hes seen, the edges of the universe, the birth of stars, eternity. How many races has he encountered in his travels & freed. Or should I say accepted once they awakened them selves. We will meet these beings as they must be many. The story of their own worlds history & how they came to know Cthulhu & break free. All this will be there for the learning.
What story will we tell of ours. How grand it will be to remember our earth & the way in which the darkness became known to us. How we in this era found ways to unlock our potential & survive. To go beyond. What a fantastic tale we will tell.
Awake brothers & sisters, awake.
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Post by valcara on Dec 6, 2010 21:18:22 GMT -6
You have many questions, one of the best ways to learn is to ask questions, then haveing diffrent questions shot at you in response....try thinking to yourself in a constant strand of questions, but not horible impossible ones like what is the meaning of life or what is death....simple calming things that then build up and then they turn into a revelation....well this is what i do at least...try getting aroung your hard questions with simple and calm ones.....its best to find awnsers in a state of content than a state of distress and remember all things are temporary, perhaps even nonexsistance and death ~Awake
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Post by Ikaros on Jan 2, 2011 23:24:39 GMT -6
i'm more interested in atheist or agnostic paradigms stemming from religious experience. could an unverified moment of personal gnosis or feeling of supernatural guidance / interference cause someone to become less theistic and more atheistic or agnostic? basically, a reversal of the usual way religious experiences affect us.
VS I think this is exactly what Chaos magic did for me. I was a very open minded spiritualist and committed whitelighter. However, after having a minor nihilistic crisis, I searched with in my spiritualist, wiccan, shamanic, and (yes) christian toolboxes to find the solution to my problem. I could not find one in any of those paradigms. I was quite literally filled with a void. For the Greek scholars in the audience, this is the original meaning of the word and concept of Chaos. This led me to study Peter J. Carroll's works. He is a firm believer that there is no immortal soul as a personal existence after life. I don't have the time to go into his nuanced and challenging theories; however they did have a profound affect on my world view. At this stage in my life I am the closest to being an atheist as I ever been in my life. I still believe in spirits and my belief in God at this point is rather Vindictive Maltheistic. This theology is what drew me into a Lovecraftian paradigm, when my old traditionalist feelings resisted kicking and screaming. So, in a very real way, my nihilistic crisis and the lack of answers from my preformed beliefs was a spiritual experience of the Void or Chaos if you will. This resulted in a less theistic / more atheistic paradigm for me. Yet, do I still hear the Call? Yes, in a way that is quite literally insane when viewed from my previous paradigm. I think it is for that reason I proceed with the utmost caution as I begin to embrace a new paradigm. I welcome thoughts, critiques, and challenges. By His loathsome tentacles! Ikaros
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Post by sin on Apr 8, 2011 12:02:59 GMT -6
Never did kick the habit, even when I wasn't actively involved in the CoC, I still found myself called to its writing. Albeit limited to the CoC website, blogs I've been exposed to, or dialogue from cult members I've kept in contact with.
So here I am once more, answering the call.
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