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Driven
Dec 16, 2007 20:15:37 GMT -6
Post by iconoclasm on Dec 16, 2007 20:15:37 GMT -6
I've not lost my mind.In fact, I was born somewhat detached from consensus reality,my mind was gone from the get go.Ive been pursuing something . We begin with this.By making six consentric circles I got a reptoid like face.My notes are on the page.An interesting realization really.I question the origins of man and on the back ,using the circles I begin trying to make the ideal human face to me The ideal human face needs and ideal name.My notes are presented on the subject.Took me 3 hours and its still imperfect...but its close. I met a woman I liked before being rejected.Her face was close to perfect,however the eyes were flawed and I developed an attraction for women with short hair (I assure you,not a mother complex).The eyes I used then were the eyes of a male I knew,but his eyes were perfect so I used them.Im close...I know it,I can feel it. The irony is never having known the silly name or face conjured from my imagination had any relevance until now.I will complete my life's work. .Now for the appropriate body.Hmmm female or intersexual?I dunno or maybe male but just overly effiminite.It needs a body and perhaps Ill begin creating the body in the astral realm when finals are over as a container for my imprints. I cant find an optimum race or hair color (red or black???)or sex for this one so I decided Ill make it mixed with all kinda stuff.Why care about race anyway?
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Driven
Dec 19, 2007 1:37:24 GMT -6
Post by iconoclasm on Dec 19, 2007 1:37:24 GMT -6
I'm ever so closer to having made something perfect in my mind despite imperfect skill.I finally came closer to her?/him? it? this time Muhuhahahaha! ;D Have I lost myself in a mindless obsession.No ,it is my true purpose and will have an occult use soon enough.Right now Im just gathering energy
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Madguten
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Woe, to he who hears the howling
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Driven
Dec 19, 2007 7:23:34 GMT -6
Post by Madguten on Dec 19, 2007 7:23:34 GMT -6
Amazing. Cool, how you made the face, with the circles.
Brilliant is the word i was looking for.
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Driven
Dec 19, 2007 9:07:36 GMT -6
Post by iconoclasm on Dec 19, 2007 9:07:36 GMT -6
Still imperfect,this is why I hate my art (sigh!).Ah well,I was thinking about sacred geometry at the time and what shaped eminate from conjoined circles.Some of the theories are quite interesting.The inverted pentagram creating a face was not anticipated.Just on of those things that happened,which leads to my next idea...
I can't understand why its so imperfect though...It looks fine but theres a quality to it only i see.Could I be still gazing at my own imperfections?
I wonder though,if I were to get it exactly as imagined,whether I'd have a function in this equation anymore.Perhaps the flaws give me a reason to exist as an artist.
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Driven
Dec 19, 2007 9:28:36 GMT -6
Post by Yahn'ikthorn on Dec 19, 2007 9:28:36 GMT -6
Well, perfect art only comes from perfect beings as far as I know, so that might be the case.
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Driven
Dec 19, 2007 9:43:33 GMT -6
Post by iconoclasm on Dec 19, 2007 9:43:33 GMT -6
Well then I will deem this my anima (the female essence of every man if you will or the male essence in every woman.Its supposed to be found past the gateway of the unconscious).The rituals to come are to be a reintegration of it into me.In doing so I hope to achieve perfection.This is to serve the template for not a servitor,but for the inner most desires and that which is not part of me.Once reintegrated,in theory anyways,I should be able to reach a level of wholeness .
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Driven
Dec 19, 2007 9:47:25 GMT -6
Post by Yahn'ikthorn on Dec 19, 2007 9:47:25 GMT -6
Sounds like you're proceeding in the right direction at least... can't advise on your personal quest that much (and I think you'd like to / you must do it on your own anyway) since I'm nowhere near perfect either and have the same quest to do myself...
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Driven
Dec 19, 2007 12:52:03 GMT -6
Post by iconoclasm on Dec 19, 2007 12:52:03 GMT -6
I'm not quite sure how to move forward.It's intuitive and comes like inspiration but if looking at a man like A.O.Spare taught me anything,it is that art can be used for magic.
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Driven
Dec 19, 2007 13:39:05 GMT -6
Post by Yahn'ikthorn on Dec 19, 2007 13:39:05 GMT -6
Oh yes, I'm writing poems and stuff as magic self-brainwash almost everyday. And even freestyle rap can be considered magic since it's just your stream of consciousness talking in rhyme.
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Madguten
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Woe, to he who hears the howling
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Driven
Dec 19, 2007 23:40:47 GMT -6
Post by Madguten on Dec 19, 2007 23:40:47 GMT -6
Two things...
Is perfection possible from a CREATION of ANY sort?
and
Freestyle rap is the shit ;D
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Driven
Dec 20, 2007 0:04:02 GMT -6
Post by iconoclasm on Dec 20, 2007 0:04:02 GMT -6
Creation is only perfect when it superceds it's creator.
My idea of perfection is just being able to get consistent with drawing the face and the body which I am clearly not.I need to devise a system .My thoughts is having a set array of inverted pentagrams for specific faces and bodies.I dont expect a grade A art skill,unlike my sister or a number of others I knew,I only took an entry ass drawing course when I was 13.Its all freehand and guess work for me.Shading is impossible since I have a terrible eye for light and dark.
I mainly imagine everything as I remember seeing things-In flat colors with little variation.My brains seems to ignore shadows and light sources in remembering things except for pornography ;D favor two dimensions it seems.
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Madguten
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Woe, to he who hears the howling
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Driven
Dec 20, 2007 0:22:41 GMT -6
Post by Madguten on Dec 20, 2007 0:22:41 GMT -6
Interesting notion.
I will have to wonder on it.
About drawing. There are some pretty wicked "how to draw" or "make your own manga" books out there with A LOT of very valuable pointers and advice on different "tricks" and techniques one can use, i dont use them myself because i am an airhead, but in the right hands, such drawing techniques can be very usefull.
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Driven
Jan 5, 2008 15:28:19 GMT -6
Post by iconoclasm on Jan 5, 2008 15:28:19 GMT -6
The above pictures were no doubt terrible and have been trashed.I have no need for them anymore.Last night as I lay down I felt my body change,I transformed into him. Effeminate indeed,such is my affiliation with beauty.I always wanted to be beautiful but can not with this flawed lump of flesh I have.The round pelvic bone,long sexy legs,sexy delicate feat,thin waist and medium to large breasts are beauty,delicate hand and arms and beautiful effiminate face must be mine.(plus of course a weight much lower than 140 and a height less than 5'10)There will be no creation finer than I.However I need to keep my manhood,lol maybe a much bigger one (12 inches maybe lol ) will be better.I could never understand a woman to become one but to be a man that would be a woman's envy...I will be perfect!!! I've obsessed over this body,form for 2 years straight and fantasized about it for just as long.I will have this form when I return lol,be it highly unusual or not,idc.As I layed in bed last night,I felt my body non existent.I felt the astral form of my body shift.I was who I wanted to be beautiful.The shiniest fucking star in the sky ...brightest fucking star. Im getting there,I know it,Im imprinting the form into my subconscious.Now I dream about it.It will be imprinted into the empty soul and awareness.This is my magick.My life work...until the day of my demise.
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Driven
Jan 5, 2008 15:39:13 GMT -6
Post by iconoclasm on Jan 5, 2008 15:39:13 GMT -6
Never will I have to look at beautiful women and feel envy again if I get the body I want.No longer will I hate them for having that which I rightfully deserve but lack.Ill be able to finally able to ;Dlove myself.
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Driven
Jan 7, 2008 0:13:06 GMT -6
Post by iconoclasm on Jan 7, 2008 0:13:06 GMT -6
Growing just a little better at the human form I think.Just a random snippet I may modify in relation to the character Im writing about.Still need work on hands and feet but its a rough 5 minute sketch so ;D enjoy
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Driven
Jan 7, 2008 7:51:37 GMT -6
Post by Rodr Evil on Jan 7, 2008 7:51:37 GMT -6
That's pretty good.
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