Post by Sanguis on Mar 26, 2014 7:03:11 GMT -6
Greetings Brothers and Sisters. I suppose I should start with what brought me here. Well I have always been drawn to the Unseen from a young age. I've always felt an inner "Darkness" and a Calling to a home or place I could never find. Often feeling like this world was fake and wondering how I arrived in such a place, mostly dazed and confused, trying to find answers within a maze, thirsting for them with a hunger. Over the years I have grown, and found information that resonated with paths I had found internally, both giving me confirmation that I was not alone, and greater insight into them as well.
More recently I came across the books written by Master Satanis and not only did they speak to my inner flame, they opened my many eyes in numerous new ways as well. They resonated within but also provoked new thought. See, I had not read Lovecraft's work until recently, and being that I am now 27, one should be slightly disappointed. The thing is though, is that I have had a few interesting experiences growing up that I have thought on from time to time, but never really had an answers to. For example, when I was younger (around 18 or 19), I had woken up in the dead of night, with a large shadowy mass floating above, with wisp like tentacles emanating from it's dark center.. I say tentacles but there were so many they flowed almost like hair. I reached out to touch the mass of shadow, but felt nothing. No fear was present, just silent observation as it observed me, and as I came to a more "normal" state of consciousness it faded. To which I just assumed something on the Astral was checking me out. In the same apartment I would also wake up with sleep paralysis, though it was not long lasting as I would often gather my Will and break free, usually only taking one or two good "jerks".
More recent events involved dreams with strange green symbols and a formless dark entity trying to communicate with me, but almost in a way in which it was slowly learning to form the shapes into ones I could understand. Often waking up with after images(as if I had gazed into something too bright) upon my eyes that made out words I could almost make out. The most intense, and also last, experience involved waking up in same manner to see green light flashing upon the wall next to me, with rows of green symbols flashing and changing so rapidly I could hardly make them out. There was thick shadow around me, which was alive within my peripherals, twisting and teasing at the air, and several greyish-white orbs floating above me, one rather large one floating right over my head, just about touching my nose. I just laid there thinking to myself..."okay.. this is really happening right now" and looked around in wonder. However, again as time passed I slowly returned to a waking state and what I saw faded from view.
I am not one who has a history of strange happenings such as these, nor do I have a history of mental illness, so they really stood out. The reason I mention these is I had never read Lovecraft at the time and knew nothing of his stories and what they embodied, but once I started reading his stories and the works of Lord Satanis a chord was struck within me and suddenly my strange and random experiences suddenly weren't so strange and random... The things I was reading about very closely resembled things I had experienced. I thought to myself "Could this have been in some way something trying to contact me?" So now here I am, because of my interest and resonance with the energies that this congregation represents, as well as my past experiences, and the fact that I rarely believe in coincidences.
I look forward to learning from all of you, and sharing what I have experienced as well.
The Great Work has just begun.
-Sanguis
More recently I came across the books written by Master Satanis and not only did they speak to my inner flame, they opened my many eyes in numerous new ways as well. They resonated within but also provoked new thought. See, I had not read Lovecraft's work until recently, and being that I am now 27, one should be slightly disappointed. The thing is though, is that I have had a few interesting experiences growing up that I have thought on from time to time, but never really had an answers to. For example, when I was younger (around 18 or 19), I had woken up in the dead of night, with a large shadowy mass floating above, with wisp like tentacles emanating from it's dark center.. I say tentacles but there were so many they flowed almost like hair. I reached out to touch the mass of shadow, but felt nothing. No fear was present, just silent observation as it observed me, and as I came to a more "normal" state of consciousness it faded. To which I just assumed something on the Astral was checking me out. In the same apartment I would also wake up with sleep paralysis, though it was not long lasting as I would often gather my Will and break free, usually only taking one or two good "jerks".
More recent events involved dreams with strange green symbols and a formless dark entity trying to communicate with me, but almost in a way in which it was slowly learning to form the shapes into ones I could understand. Often waking up with after images(as if I had gazed into something too bright) upon my eyes that made out words I could almost make out. The most intense, and also last, experience involved waking up in same manner to see green light flashing upon the wall next to me, with rows of green symbols flashing and changing so rapidly I could hardly make them out. There was thick shadow around me, which was alive within my peripherals, twisting and teasing at the air, and several greyish-white orbs floating above me, one rather large one floating right over my head, just about touching my nose. I just laid there thinking to myself..."okay.. this is really happening right now" and looked around in wonder. However, again as time passed I slowly returned to a waking state and what I saw faded from view.
I am not one who has a history of strange happenings such as these, nor do I have a history of mental illness, so they really stood out. The reason I mention these is I had never read Lovecraft at the time and knew nothing of his stories and what they embodied, but once I started reading his stories and the works of Lord Satanis a chord was struck within me and suddenly my strange and random experiences suddenly weren't so strange and random... The things I was reading about very closely resembled things I had experienced. I thought to myself "Could this have been in some way something trying to contact me?" So now here I am, because of my interest and resonance with the energies that this congregation represents, as well as my past experiences, and the fact that I rarely believe in coincidences.
I look forward to learning from all of you, and sharing what I have experienced as well.
The Great Work has just begun.
-Sanguis