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Post by Cain Da'arnesh on Aug 15, 2012 13:45:29 GMT -6
As one of my favorite industrial singers once sang, "Let's keep going!"
Now it has come to my attention that what others tell you can greatly affect how you think and even your actions. For example, a good friend of mine recently pointed out how my hairline is evidently partially recessed. Now I'm worried sick about it going any further, however the logical part of my brain knows that based upon my family history, it won't get any further than where it is now in all probability! Another good friend of mine was talking about my transition into a genderqueer and mentioned how alone I must feel... It's so strange? I never felt so cold and alone before he mentioned this! Fortunately, I've spent the vast majority of my life alone and that's probably why I talk to myself, but I digress.
The point is, other people point things out to you that you otherwise wouldn't notice. The flip side to this is that such things will often greatly concern you! I'm thinking that a good strategy would be to acknowledge what is clearly necessary and to disregard what isn't really important. Although I welcome your thoughts fellow cultists!
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Post by shawnhartnell on Aug 15, 2012 17:52:06 GMT -6
I can only respond to this by clicking the exalt link next to your name.
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Post by sin on Aug 15, 2012 21:34:06 GMT -6
How much of this is really about you, vs. how you are perceived by another? How useful is it to see yourself through another's eyes?
i.e. being genderqueer and how weird they think it is, vs. how normalized it is for yourself.
Does it make you feel alone because its weird to them, or do you really think its weird?
CS
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Post by Cain Da'arnesh on Aug 15, 2012 22:20:30 GMT -6
Given my experiences, no I don't find it that unusual at all... However, you must understand that I live in a small Texas town and as such, there aren't many nearby who I can relate to. But there are at least a couple believe it or not! Now the truth of the matter is, I'm coming to terms with myself and realizing that since it isn't abnormal for me, THAT should be good enough! I am in and always will be in transition I've come to realize.
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Post by sin on Aug 16, 2012 4:52:35 GMT -6
Right on. You have to be comfortable with yourself, before you can ever be comfortable with others.
CS
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Post by shawnhartnell on Aug 16, 2012 14:20:11 GMT -6
Sometimes you learn that your fly is down because someone points it out
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Post by sin on Aug 17, 2012 8:47:17 GMT -6
Sometimes you learn that your fly is down because someone points it out
Sure, but are there limitations set for this sort of thing?
weird [weerd] adjective, weird·er, weird·est, noun adjective 1. involving or suggesting the supernatural; unearthly or uncanny: a weird sound; weird lights. 2. fantastic; bizarre: a weird getup. 3. Archaic . concerned with or controlling fate or destiny.
In your opinion, how does one draw the line? In my observation some people often make adjustments in their person to be accepted, or because they are led to believe that they are taking incorrect actions or being incorrect (see: 8 Fold Path).
CS
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Post by shawnhartnell on Aug 17, 2012 10:40:31 GMT -6
Sometimes you learn that your fly is down because someone points it out
Sure, but are there limitations set for this sort of thing?
Your zipper is down or it's not.[/color][/quote] I'm talking about objective personal things that's it's good to know about oneself and can be pointed out by another.
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Post by sin on Aug 17, 2012 12:37:27 GMT -6
That is understood. I'm asking about limitations and personal standards.
Should CD just accept that people will constantly point out what they see as his weirdness? He spoke about how alone it made him feel, but then became aware of his attachment and presses forward. Does this mean it's been scrubbed from his subconscious?
I think the metaphor is useful here. So, he should then also accept that either he's weird or he's not? And by what standard should he judge this by?
If he were in the LBGT community, then obviously it's less likely to be weird. Since he lives in a small town in Texas it has an increased likelihood to be weird. If he doesn't want to relocate to a more diverse location, should he then submit to feeling alone in his weirdness?
Do you see where I'm going with this?
Edit to add: I think it has more to do with the self, than it does the lens by which others issue their critiques.
CS
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Post by shawnhartnell on Aug 17, 2012 12:44:55 GMT -6
Do you see where I'm going with this?
Yes, and I respectfully bow out of this thread.
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Post by sin on Aug 17, 2012 14:04:19 GMT -6
Do you see where I'm going with this?
Yes, and I respectfully bow out of this thread.
Fair enough. As do I.
CS
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Post by Cain Da'arnesh on Aug 18, 2012 0:40:33 GMT -6
Personally, I feel labeling anything as "weird" or unusual ultimately detracts from it and how potentially useful it may be...
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