Post by Creeton on Jun 15, 2012 10:47:24 GMT -6
Tasty Snack
I was especially surprised to discover that I am the chosen one. Of all people it was me. With everything going on I was so in utter shock to learn that they want me to be in charge of this most significant and prestigious event in all of human history.
I recall watching the news and not believing it. Then I looked out and saw them. Simultaneously descending from the sky are both alien UFO’s and angels. The wings and halos gave little doubt as to what they are. The angels are so benevolent and seem (even at my far away viewing distance) to have an air of confidence and greatness that I will never do justice in my poor description.
The angels are finally getting captured by film as they continue descending. I look upon the television to gaze at the magnificence of the divinity that is finally sinking into my mind as reality.
It is odd. Their appearance does not resemble human at all. No two angels appear to have the same color skin. Some come close, yet the tone always varies. Also they appear to have no limbs beyond their wings of feather. These angels appear more like a roundish body with no clothing. Their ability to grasp anything is granted by four small ever changing balls that are roughly the size of fists. These balls are completely unattached to their bodies. They float randomly around themselves near their body. The balls are never more than 2 feet from the body. These balls can even change shape to resemble anything from hands to pointers, graspers seemingly anything the angel might require to need at any given moment.
It is hard to tell if the angels have a head or are a head. Their body has neither visible eyes that we can see, nor a visible mouth or ears. The body just seems like a floating winged blob within a halo and four revolving small balls. As strange as it seemed I could not deny these were angels, it was as if a person would have to see it to understand.
As amazing as these angels are, they seem to be escorting the alien ships. We all assume these aliens must be angels as well. Those exotic ships are magnificent. Their size trumps anything man has ever built and will ever build. The large orb shaped space craft’s seemed to be completely unaffected by gravity. These ships appear completely solid with no windows, doors, or even a vague scratch. They were shiny and flawless. The design alone raises hundreds if not thousands of questions just from viewing alone by the television. All of the spheres are reflective. These spheres are majestic especially with their angelic escorts.
The entire world watched and marveled at the descent of these alien crafts. Finally, they landed.
For some inexplicable reason, no weapon or hostility of any kind was attempted to strike these visitors. Missiles were armed and readied, as were guns and navies and countless soldiers ready to fight an invasion force. Yet no order was given, no gun fired, and no harm caused at all. It is as if all of humanity singularly became stricken with peace and euphoria.
Thus they landed all over the earth. At every capital, city, town, village, compound, and building throughout every human civilization, these ships landed. Though the ships sizes varied, they were so numerous that there almost appeared to be one ship per human, possibly more worldwide.
The angels are even more numerous.
We just watched as they landed. Somehow fear was not with us. The closer they got, the safer, and more peaceful everyone feels.
As I said, they landed. The spheres seem to almost meld with the ground they land on. ¼ of it appears to be inside of the ground, yet no earth shook or gave a sign of disturbance, parts of these vessels are actually in the ground. We expected a door or some kind of window to open up. However, instead the aliens merely walked out, they seemingly walked through the reflective hull of their vessels
Every camera on the planet was filming, clicking, and snapping pictures of this momentous first contact. However the irony of this is there are places on earth that are experiencing night, 3am to be exact in new York time zone. Though most major networks are airing live space crafts and angels and aliens. Not a single TV station bothered to interrupt any infomercial. Those monotonous repetitious soul sucking hour long commercials were not taken off the air to view the greatest moment in human history. History channel, comedy central, FX, fox, sci-fi channel, and even the science channel and several religious networks as well. The infomercials continued uninterrupted. Even the cooking channel managed to cut off their program to show the angels and alien entities, one of the few.
The aliens appeared every bit as strange and different as the angels. Humanities first glance confused everyone. They appear nothing like the grays or tentacled HP lovecraftian terros.
These aliens are very small. About 1/5 the size of a normal human, each standing slightly over 1 foot tall. Their skin had no color or texture. These aliens were clear. The small clear aliens have no clothing, though no reproductive organs can be seen. Their innards are quite visible. Their insides are floating around in their bodies. These aliens were clearly organic, however they were more akin to a massive ameba than to any creature earth has, including humans.
Thanks to the bizarre angels peace was instantaneous. The president was filmed shaking…hands? If hands are the proper words for what these aliens have. These aliens had no legs. They just move with some kind of glide or slide with their lower half, similar to a snake or snail, yet faster and more elegant leaving no slime trail. Like the angels these ameba aliens have no limbs, their lower half moves them and their upper half has a series of small nipple looking apparatus’s. These nipples can extend and reshape though they are not as versatile as the angels, the effect is strikingly similar.
Thus the aliens. These aliens greeted us with open…arms? They showed no sign or desire to take over humanity.
Their method of communication was interesting. They could form mouths and talk. They were able to learn any human language almost instantly. The aliens described their form of communication to be similar to a wireless router, which people immediate mistook for telepathy. Anyone who understands how a wireless lan worked understood. Everyone else thought it was magic. The aliens pointed (using their nipple extenders) at one of their visible organs and explained how it worked.
The aliens described the angels as advanced versions of their race, advanced and older. The aliens actually confirmed almost half of human myth and lore about god. People asked why they looked so radically different. The aliens would shrug and tell humanity that their emissaries were sent thousands of years ago to ready mankind for their arrival. The aliens confirmed Adam and Eve, go forth and multiply were especially emphasized. The aliens explained that billions of humans are needed. At least seven billion people were needed. It would be three humans per ship. When asked about jesus, the aliens were puzzled and expressed no knowledge of any such person. The aliens explained that Hebrews were the chosen people, but every human is fit enough to join the chosen.
Thus the aliens decreed every human to be the chosen people. They explained that the human imagination and unique creativity capabilities is in a way something the aliens lacked.
The aliens possessed such great technology, that human imagination is something that paled in comparison, the aliens agreed. Yet they explained that this and the way human hands work, make humans perfect for their chosen task.
The humans were described by aliens to be originally amebas, yet their evolutionary growth caused them to be what they are today. These aliens didn’t change much other than growth, organs and a few other details. The angels confirmed that amebas are the perfect life form and humans are a mutation and viewed as freaks by the aliens. Though the aliens and angels have no animosity of any kind for humans, they just view us as inferior. Everyone reluctantly agreed. The world wanted to go with the aliens. The trip was something of seemingly great significance.
The aliens described this great voyage to reunite with god.
Humanity is to take part in this voyage. The god was hard for them to describe, yet easy for them to prove. The proof isn’t really important and not worth the readers time to go over. I can simplify by saying that every religion was wrong and not even close to defining, proving, or visualizing god.
The great purpose of humanity was one everyone eagerly awaited. The aliens seemed equally excited to reveal our unique and wondrous purpose. After all these years, thought out all of human civilization this one question was never answered. Now everyone listened intently to this grand moment.
The alien waited for us to be ready. Every human channel is live with this footage. It has only been two days since their arrival and here they are about to announce our reason for existence.
The alien moved onto the special stand on the podium. The alien formed a mouth. Everyone leaned in to hear this great moment.
“Humanity” the alien spoke. Every TV screen all over the world shows this. The subtitles are matching his French words. This particular alien is being filmed in Canada.
“You have been chosen, by us, your reason for existence is because of your unique hands and your ability to use your unique imagination. We need you, all of you, to aid us. We hope that you will fulfill your destiny and help us reach god. For it is with your two unique capabilities that you are able to create such a wide variety of edible things.”
People looked at each other with a strange look. Then back at the alien to see if he can further explain.
“It may confuse you. But the great creator gave our people greatness to achieve the stars and form new worlds and then reunite with God. However god created your people to cook for us on this journey. Our proof is undeniable and you know this is the way. I thank you all and look forward to your fine dining you will prepare for us.”
And that was pretty much it. Humanity and all we ever were and shall ever be is for the sole purpose of designing and preparing new snacks for the real chosen species of god. Everyone was mortified. The aliens frowned on the cooking channel for interrupting their program to show the aliens arriving. FX was praised for continuing their new George Forman grill infomercial; several aliens enjoyed it as they were arriving for first contact.
So I was chosen to lead humanity to culinary cooking. It was me who shall show all of humanity what tasty snacks the aliens enjoy the most.
So we left. Everyone was filled with an equal amount of mediocrity and excitement. The trip only lasted about seven months.
The aliens described that traveling in the method we travel seems to distort time in a very strange way. We even met the angels who encountered humanity thousands of years ago. They said that due to the method of travel, to these angels it was a week ago that they shaped humanity. However to us it was 10,000 years ago.
After the seven month voyage that was mans destiny, the aliens stopped at a small earth like world and dropped off humanity.
They thanked us for the tasty snacks as their ships took off abandoning us on this world explaining that –
“God doesn’t really like non-ameba species, and this planet is good enough for you.”
And that was it humanity was created for the sole purpose of cooking for God’s chosen ameba species. Our entire culture and history is just a misinterpreted cooking advice.
-Go forth and multiply- (we need more culinary workers)
-Servitude to God- (serving the ameba aliens are in a way serving god)
-The forbidden fruit- (it was the alien’s favorite)
-The meek shall inherit the earth – (and they did, those that stayed behind on earth, were meek)
I was especially surprised to discover that I am the chosen one. Of all people it was me. With everything going on I was so in utter shock to learn that they want me to be in charge of this most significant and prestigious event in all of human history.
I recall watching the news and not believing it. Then I looked out and saw them. Simultaneously descending from the sky are both alien UFO’s and angels. The wings and halos gave little doubt as to what they are. The angels are so benevolent and seem (even at my far away viewing distance) to have an air of confidence and greatness that I will never do justice in my poor description.
The angels are finally getting captured by film as they continue descending. I look upon the television to gaze at the magnificence of the divinity that is finally sinking into my mind as reality.
It is odd. Their appearance does not resemble human at all. No two angels appear to have the same color skin. Some come close, yet the tone always varies. Also they appear to have no limbs beyond their wings of feather. These angels appear more like a roundish body with no clothing. Their ability to grasp anything is granted by four small ever changing balls that are roughly the size of fists. These balls are completely unattached to their bodies. They float randomly around themselves near their body. The balls are never more than 2 feet from the body. These balls can even change shape to resemble anything from hands to pointers, graspers seemingly anything the angel might require to need at any given moment.
It is hard to tell if the angels have a head or are a head. Their body has neither visible eyes that we can see, nor a visible mouth or ears. The body just seems like a floating winged blob within a halo and four revolving small balls. As strange as it seemed I could not deny these were angels, it was as if a person would have to see it to understand.
As amazing as these angels are, they seem to be escorting the alien ships. We all assume these aliens must be angels as well. Those exotic ships are magnificent. Their size trumps anything man has ever built and will ever build. The large orb shaped space craft’s seemed to be completely unaffected by gravity. These ships appear completely solid with no windows, doors, or even a vague scratch. They were shiny and flawless. The design alone raises hundreds if not thousands of questions just from viewing alone by the television. All of the spheres are reflective. These spheres are majestic especially with their angelic escorts.
The entire world watched and marveled at the descent of these alien crafts. Finally, they landed.
For some inexplicable reason, no weapon or hostility of any kind was attempted to strike these visitors. Missiles were armed and readied, as were guns and navies and countless soldiers ready to fight an invasion force. Yet no order was given, no gun fired, and no harm caused at all. It is as if all of humanity singularly became stricken with peace and euphoria.
Thus they landed all over the earth. At every capital, city, town, village, compound, and building throughout every human civilization, these ships landed. Though the ships sizes varied, they were so numerous that there almost appeared to be one ship per human, possibly more worldwide.
The angels are even more numerous.
We just watched as they landed. Somehow fear was not with us. The closer they got, the safer, and more peaceful everyone feels.
As I said, they landed. The spheres seem to almost meld with the ground they land on. ¼ of it appears to be inside of the ground, yet no earth shook or gave a sign of disturbance, parts of these vessels are actually in the ground. We expected a door or some kind of window to open up. However, instead the aliens merely walked out, they seemingly walked through the reflective hull of their vessels
Every camera on the planet was filming, clicking, and snapping pictures of this momentous first contact. However the irony of this is there are places on earth that are experiencing night, 3am to be exact in new York time zone. Though most major networks are airing live space crafts and angels and aliens. Not a single TV station bothered to interrupt any infomercial. Those monotonous repetitious soul sucking hour long commercials were not taken off the air to view the greatest moment in human history. History channel, comedy central, FX, fox, sci-fi channel, and even the science channel and several religious networks as well. The infomercials continued uninterrupted. Even the cooking channel managed to cut off their program to show the angels and alien entities, one of the few.
The aliens appeared every bit as strange and different as the angels. Humanities first glance confused everyone. They appear nothing like the grays or tentacled HP lovecraftian terros.
These aliens are very small. About 1/5 the size of a normal human, each standing slightly over 1 foot tall. Their skin had no color or texture. These aliens were clear. The small clear aliens have no clothing, though no reproductive organs can be seen. Their innards are quite visible. Their insides are floating around in their bodies. These aliens were clearly organic, however they were more akin to a massive ameba than to any creature earth has, including humans.
Thanks to the bizarre angels peace was instantaneous. The president was filmed shaking…hands? If hands are the proper words for what these aliens have. These aliens had no legs. They just move with some kind of glide or slide with their lower half, similar to a snake or snail, yet faster and more elegant leaving no slime trail. Like the angels these ameba aliens have no limbs, their lower half moves them and their upper half has a series of small nipple looking apparatus’s. These nipples can extend and reshape though they are not as versatile as the angels, the effect is strikingly similar.
Thus the aliens. These aliens greeted us with open…arms? They showed no sign or desire to take over humanity.
Their method of communication was interesting. They could form mouths and talk. They were able to learn any human language almost instantly. The aliens described their form of communication to be similar to a wireless router, which people immediate mistook for telepathy. Anyone who understands how a wireless lan worked understood. Everyone else thought it was magic. The aliens pointed (using their nipple extenders) at one of their visible organs and explained how it worked.
The aliens described the angels as advanced versions of their race, advanced and older. The aliens actually confirmed almost half of human myth and lore about god. People asked why they looked so radically different. The aliens would shrug and tell humanity that their emissaries were sent thousands of years ago to ready mankind for their arrival. The aliens confirmed Adam and Eve, go forth and multiply were especially emphasized. The aliens explained that billions of humans are needed. At least seven billion people were needed. It would be three humans per ship. When asked about jesus, the aliens were puzzled and expressed no knowledge of any such person. The aliens explained that Hebrews were the chosen people, but every human is fit enough to join the chosen.
Thus the aliens decreed every human to be the chosen people. They explained that the human imagination and unique creativity capabilities is in a way something the aliens lacked.
The aliens possessed such great technology, that human imagination is something that paled in comparison, the aliens agreed. Yet they explained that this and the way human hands work, make humans perfect for their chosen task.
The humans were described by aliens to be originally amebas, yet their evolutionary growth caused them to be what they are today. These aliens didn’t change much other than growth, organs and a few other details. The angels confirmed that amebas are the perfect life form and humans are a mutation and viewed as freaks by the aliens. Though the aliens and angels have no animosity of any kind for humans, they just view us as inferior. Everyone reluctantly agreed. The world wanted to go with the aliens. The trip was something of seemingly great significance.
The aliens described this great voyage to reunite with god.
Humanity is to take part in this voyage. The god was hard for them to describe, yet easy for them to prove. The proof isn’t really important and not worth the readers time to go over. I can simplify by saying that every religion was wrong and not even close to defining, proving, or visualizing god.
The great purpose of humanity was one everyone eagerly awaited. The aliens seemed equally excited to reveal our unique and wondrous purpose. After all these years, thought out all of human civilization this one question was never answered. Now everyone listened intently to this grand moment.
The alien waited for us to be ready. Every human channel is live with this footage. It has only been two days since their arrival and here they are about to announce our reason for existence.
The alien moved onto the special stand on the podium. The alien formed a mouth. Everyone leaned in to hear this great moment.
“Humanity” the alien spoke. Every TV screen all over the world shows this. The subtitles are matching his French words. This particular alien is being filmed in Canada.
“You have been chosen, by us, your reason for existence is because of your unique hands and your ability to use your unique imagination. We need you, all of you, to aid us. We hope that you will fulfill your destiny and help us reach god. For it is with your two unique capabilities that you are able to create such a wide variety of edible things.”
People looked at each other with a strange look. Then back at the alien to see if he can further explain.
“It may confuse you. But the great creator gave our people greatness to achieve the stars and form new worlds and then reunite with God. However god created your people to cook for us on this journey. Our proof is undeniable and you know this is the way. I thank you all and look forward to your fine dining you will prepare for us.”
And that was pretty much it. Humanity and all we ever were and shall ever be is for the sole purpose of designing and preparing new snacks for the real chosen species of god. Everyone was mortified. The aliens frowned on the cooking channel for interrupting their program to show the aliens arriving. FX was praised for continuing their new George Forman grill infomercial; several aliens enjoyed it as they were arriving for first contact.
So I was chosen to lead humanity to culinary cooking. It was me who shall show all of humanity what tasty snacks the aliens enjoy the most.
So we left. Everyone was filled with an equal amount of mediocrity and excitement. The trip only lasted about seven months.
The aliens described that traveling in the method we travel seems to distort time in a very strange way. We even met the angels who encountered humanity thousands of years ago. They said that due to the method of travel, to these angels it was a week ago that they shaped humanity. However to us it was 10,000 years ago.
After the seven month voyage that was mans destiny, the aliens stopped at a small earth like world and dropped off humanity.
They thanked us for the tasty snacks as their ships took off abandoning us on this world explaining that –
“God doesn’t really like non-ameba species, and this planet is good enough for you.”
And that was it humanity was created for the sole purpose of cooking for God’s chosen ameba species. Our entire culture and history is just a misinterpreted cooking advice.
-Go forth and multiply- (we need more culinary workers)
-Servitude to God- (serving the ameba aliens are in a way serving god)
-The forbidden fruit- (it was the alien’s favorite)
-The meek shall inherit the earth – (and they did, those that stayed behind on earth, were meek)