Post by lokidreaming on Apr 12, 2011 8:05:15 GMT -6
U chose me in a time of need
I chose you at a time of want
Friends forever bound by destiny
Friends forever bound by loyalty
U have spoilt me as a person
U remember the time I took u to that Turkish place?
How you said life view on food has changed forever
That is how I see my future,
Its gonna be hard to make any more friends in the future,
As I will forever be comparing them to you and your standards on life.
This is my path,
This is my future,
I’ve chosen to walk this path with you
I not know what the future holds.
All I know,
Is that they will be a time when we both will chose to walk away
To live our own lives as we are meant to
I know you also feel that this is how our fates are suppose to play out
I mourn for that day, even though it has not come to past
My mourning for the that day
Affects every second of our friendship
It consumes me
Gnawing away at my insecurities
And I know if I don’t conquer this mourning fear,
I’ll loose you before that day
Cause you will finally see my shallowness and fakeness, for what it is
And all the strings I’ve pulled along the away,
Just to prove destiny wrong
A coward’s way out
Confusing rages inside me
My feelings tormenting me
Are they punishing me for my pride?
Is karma paying me back for the errs to my past friends?
I’m not supposed to feel these feelings? Am I?
I used to want to end the friendship,
Cos I could see the negative effects of our friendships
Cos, me as your friend I knew people were laughing at you
And looking down on you
You’re not exactly a chick magnet when you are hanging round with me
Thinking, this is what has become of him
And looking at me
Accusing me with of their looks
Accusing me of having an ulterior motive
I am a weak fool,
As, from time to time I give in to those accusing eyes and self destruct
Sometimes, I think people around you think that I’m a fad
That I will one day go poof and be no more
That’s why I was so tormented at Alexandre,
Loosing my way
And giving into those accusing looks
Forgive me for that please, my dear friend
As I did not meant for what happened to happen
But, I’m glad it did,
As it gave me a new lease
It taught me that I was being selfish
And that I took you for granted as a friend
U thought I was the one that showed u the light,
When in fact it was the other way round
U showed me how to live
For no regret
And to ignore what people/society dictates how I should be
You unblocked some of my irrational fears
How to live like a true soilder
How to live like the true wind
Whatever happens form here on,
I know I have to be true to myself
And make a stand, as I can see the path I’m going down
Is a destructive one, and I know I have to fight my detractors
In order to prove myself to you
As I know in your eyes I still yet to prove myself to you
Even though you will deny this fact
Do I have to remind you that the wise can see others denials and sense there being on a subconscious level?
And whatever happens here,
I want to reassure you,
You have done nothing wrong,
And I don’t hate you
It just as you’ve figured out by now
I have extremely strong defensive systems in place
(Both on a conscious and subconscious level)
And sometimes you can get caught in that
I’m trying to let go
Man, am I trying to let go
I know I have to resolve the past in order to move on.
Yet, I feel time is running out
I am caught in a quandary and a paradox
What ever happens next let it happen.
You are my muse; see never have I written something as intense as this
My confusion starts to settle as this page near its end.
And I have a vision.
And it’s telling me I have to remain truthful to you
Stop spinning webs (as you know I have been all along)
And let you in
Not be afraid you will end up hurting me
As others have in the past
And that I have to fulfill my destiny
Even if I don’t want to
Or am not ready
You are like my brother
My little brother
I understand the song Bliss by Muse
It’s about dying for love
Cos it’s too painful
And I love you like a brother
And remember how I said that whether I go to hell or heaven
Is dependent on the ones I care for?
You are one of them.
And I’d follow you in the afterlife
Just don’t go to heaven to piss me off
(LOL)
Azza Lee 2006©
(Monday October 2)
I chose you at a time of want
Friends forever bound by destiny
Friends forever bound by loyalty
U have spoilt me as a person
U remember the time I took u to that Turkish place?
How you said life view on food has changed forever
That is how I see my future,
Its gonna be hard to make any more friends in the future,
As I will forever be comparing them to you and your standards on life.
This is my path,
This is my future,
I’ve chosen to walk this path with you
I not know what the future holds.
All I know,
Is that they will be a time when we both will chose to walk away
To live our own lives as we are meant to
I know you also feel that this is how our fates are suppose to play out
I mourn for that day, even though it has not come to past
My mourning for the that day
Affects every second of our friendship
It consumes me
Gnawing away at my insecurities
And I know if I don’t conquer this mourning fear,
I’ll loose you before that day
Cause you will finally see my shallowness and fakeness, for what it is
And all the strings I’ve pulled along the away,
Just to prove destiny wrong
A coward’s way out
Confusing rages inside me
My feelings tormenting me
Are they punishing me for my pride?
Is karma paying me back for the errs to my past friends?
I’m not supposed to feel these feelings? Am I?
I used to want to end the friendship,
Cos I could see the negative effects of our friendships
Cos, me as your friend I knew people were laughing at you
And looking down on you
You’re not exactly a chick magnet when you are hanging round with me
Thinking, this is what has become of him
And looking at me
Accusing me with of their looks
Accusing me of having an ulterior motive
I am a weak fool,
As, from time to time I give in to those accusing eyes and self destruct
Sometimes, I think people around you think that I’m a fad
That I will one day go poof and be no more
That’s why I was so tormented at Alexandre,
Loosing my way
And giving into those accusing looks
Forgive me for that please, my dear friend
As I did not meant for what happened to happen
But, I’m glad it did,
As it gave me a new lease
It taught me that I was being selfish
And that I took you for granted as a friend
U thought I was the one that showed u the light,
When in fact it was the other way round
U showed me how to live
For no regret
And to ignore what people/society dictates how I should be
You unblocked some of my irrational fears
How to live like a true soilder
How to live like the true wind
Whatever happens form here on,
I know I have to be true to myself
And make a stand, as I can see the path I’m going down
Is a destructive one, and I know I have to fight my detractors
In order to prove myself to you
As I know in your eyes I still yet to prove myself to you
Even though you will deny this fact
Do I have to remind you that the wise can see others denials and sense there being on a subconscious level?
And whatever happens here,
I want to reassure you,
You have done nothing wrong,
And I don’t hate you
It just as you’ve figured out by now
I have extremely strong defensive systems in place
(Both on a conscious and subconscious level)
And sometimes you can get caught in that
I’m trying to let go
Man, am I trying to let go
I know I have to resolve the past in order to move on.
Yet, I feel time is running out
I am caught in a quandary and a paradox
What ever happens next let it happen.
You are my muse; see never have I written something as intense as this
My confusion starts to settle as this page near its end.
And I have a vision.
And it’s telling me I have to remain truthful to you
Stop spinning webs (as you know I have been all along)
And let you in
Not be afraid you will end up hurting me
As others have in the past
And that I have to fulfill my destiny
Even if I don’t want to
Or am not ready
You are like my brother
My little brother
I understand the song Bliss by Muse
It’s about dying for love
Cos it’s too painful
And I love you like a brother
And remember how I said that whether I go to hell or heaven
Is dependent on the ones I care for?
You are one of them.
And I’d follow you in the afterlife
Just don’t go to heaven to piss me off
(LOL)
Azza Lee 2006©
(Monday October 2)