Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2010 9:44:11 GMT -6
"What the matter with you since a month ?" asked me my wife, "You're more joyful, never in a bad mood, you seem more present. And you look better, and I want to know what's happening !"
I told her about the fourth way and self remembering, (but not about Magic & Cthulhu yet) so she's reading Ouspensky's book just now.
Well, I want to testify what happened to me, and I have a few little questions I don't know where to post, so why not here.
Yeah, I discovered the Cult of Cthulhu 2 month ago, and felt immediately that I found something very important. I worked, I made efforts to remember of myself, and it's working. The change is on me and I will never be the same !
Determination, discipline : I used to be somewhat lazy, that's finished ! Any work is done asap now, at home or at office. About my determination, it improved dramatically , I'll succeed, I will be a magician, I don't know when but I'LL NEVER GIVE UP, now that is absolutely certain.
Fitness, health : It must have something to do with the "warrior diet" I discovered here, it's definitively improving. I'm sleeping much better. I had various small health problems, from allergy to pain in the back, that's disappearing... the diet, too ?
Timidity : gone, finished. I was a very timid young man, it improved getting older, but only now it's really over. I had a professional interview with my boss recently, I managed the conversation from the beginning to the end. I just had to focus on remembering myself while speaking.
Sociability : waaay better. That's easy to contact peoples after all...
Joyful : Hey, how life is good when you have a goal and energy to pursue it !
Hail Cultists ! Hail Priests of R'lyeh, Hail High Priest Venger Satanis !
A few words about magic. I caught cold 10 days ago, and sneezed a lot. I remembered that Cora'Sahn wrote she stopped a hiccup with magic, and tried to do the equivalent. 15 times, when I felt this typical tickling in the nose getting stronger and stronger, in a few seconds I rapidly focused on it while trying to be as conscious as possible, and with a imperious gesture, imagined throwing my magical energy at it to banish it. Tried 15 times, 15 success. Tickling is vanishing in the next seconds. It was magic or just a placebo or an effort of will ? Anyway, 100% success that's something good and useful.
Maybe more serious, it was spell work : ok it did not work, it could not work as I regretted it after launching, and not forgot it. But I did what has to be done with chaos magic, a strange feeling I really felt I "launched" something... 36 hours after, I had a sort of crisis of mental weakness I rarely experienced before... Ouch ! Let's be less silly next time.
Can you confirm me it was a backfire ?
Two more questions : Should I speak about magic, to my wife or others ? When did I lost my point of karma ? I wrote something wrong ? Sure I know so little yet, I don't want to damage your forum, if one of my posts is irrelevant or if this forum is not for beginners, please notice me by mail and delete the post, I'll not feel offended.
_____________________
Awake !
I told her about the fourth way and self remembering, (but not about Magic & Cthulhu yet) so she's reading Ouspensky's book just now.
Well, I want to testify what happened to me, and I have a few little questions I don't know where to post, so why not here.
Yeah, I discovered the Cult of Cthulhu 2 month ago, and felt immediately that I found something very important. I worked, I made efforts to remember of myself, and it's working. The change is on me and I will never be the same !
Determination, discipline : I used to be somewhat lazy, that's finished ! Any work is done asap now, at home or at office. About my determination, it improved dramatically , I'll succeed, I will be a magician, I don't know when but I'LL NEVER GIVE UP, now that is absolutely certain.
Fitness, health : It must have something to do with the "warrior diet" I discovered here, it's definitively improving. I'm sleeping much better. I had various small health problems, from allergy to pain in the back, that's disappearing... the diet, too ?
Timidity : gone, finished. I was a very timid young man, it improved getting older, but only now it's really over. I had a professional interview with my boss recently, I managed the conversation from the beginning to the end. I just had to focus on remembering myself while speaking.
Sociability : waaay better. That's easy to contact peoples after all...
Joyful : Hey, how life is good when you have a goal and energy to pursue it !
Hail Cultists ! Hail Priests of R'lyeh, Hail High Priest Venger Satanis !
A few words about magic. I caught cold 10 days ago, and sneezed a lot. I remembered that Cora'Sahn wrote she stopped a hiccup with magic, and tried to do the equivalent. 15 times, when I felt this typical tickling in the nose getting stronger and stronger, in a few seconds I rapidly focused on it while trying to be as conscious as possible, and with a imperious gesture, imagined throwing my magical energy at it to banish it. Tried 15 times, 15 success. Tickling is vanishing in the next seconds. It was magic or just a placebo or an effort of will ? Anyway, 100% success that's something good and useful.
Maybe more serious, it was spell work : ok it did not work, it could not work as I regretted it after launching, and not forgot it. But I did what has to be done with chaos magic, a strange feeling I really felt I "launched" something... 36 hours after, I had a sort of crisis of mental weakness I rarely experienced before... Ouch ! Let's be less silly next time.
Can you confirm me it was a backfire ?
Two more questions : Should I speak about magic, to my wife or others ? When did I lost my point of karma ? I wrote something wrong ? Sure I know so little yet, I don't want to damage your forum, if one of my posts is irrelevant or if this forum is not for beginners, please notice me by mail and delete the post, I'll not feel offended.
_____________________
Awake !