Post by jameson on Dec 5, 2006 18:42:23 GMT -6
Another regular night after work and a small nap and I was tired .Something was draining my mind and causing much misery.To some degree this unseen beast decides to trample my mind and emotions into dust.The pain seems without a source at time.
As usual I would tear everything apart and organize things to perfection.Why does this make me happy?It occured to me ,this universe has two things,things which are pure and things which are tainted.For years as I drifted away from certain rituals and practices things have slowly changed.I have become tainted tired and weary over the years,a vampiric quality which would many times drive me to the brink of suicide.I learned what I lacked as I discovered the source of my happiness.Magick did nothing but attempt to fill the emptiness with accomplishments.
Today I did it,I sat in my room for hours immersed purely in my own mind and imagination.Nothing but me and the walls around me.No one would come into the basement.I sat and discovered what purity was.I stripped myself down to the bare actions.Computer and self,all this is and needs be.To hell with experience,the world and all that other shit.This can only serve to influence and taint my perceptions of self further distorting the world around me.Purity is one thing,everything as one,all as me.As I shattered the room around me like glass and travelled to places futher and deeper I felt it.It was a lack of feeling and care.Apathy and the act of being stoic.This was purity and is all I ever want.With some music to silence my mind.
If it had been me with my ipod and maybe in a warm room with only an adjoined restroom Id be perfect.Why even bother eating?Why do anything?I would be pure creating and destroying worlds with my imagination.No need for ppl ,magick,feeling or anything.This is life.The illusions of emotions and pleasure are death.One day I shall be so strong as to drive a hammer through the tv,shut off the computer for good,get over this infection of my sinuses,quit my job,quit school,quit eating and just be pure.Let death come as it may,I am god and this body is less and less in its significance.One day....
As usual I would tear everything apart and organize things to perfection.Why does this make me happy?It occured to me ,this universe has two things,things which are pure and things which are tainted.For years as I drifted away from certain rituals and practices things have slowly changed.I have become tainted tired and weary over the years,a vampiric quality which would many times drive me to the brink of suicide.I learned what I lacked as I discovered the source of my happiness.Magick did nothing but attempt to fill the emptiness with accomplishments.
Today I did it,I sat in my room for hours immersed purely in my own mind and imagination.Nothing but me and the walls around me.No one would come into the basement.I sat and discovered what purity was.I stripped myself down to the bare actions.Computer and self,all this is and needs be.To hell with experience,the world and all that other shit.This can only serve to influence and taint my perceptions of self further distorting the world around me.Purity is one thing,everything as one,all as me.As I shattered the room around me like glass and travelled to places futher and deeper I felt it.It was a lack of feeling and care.Apathy and the act of being stoic.This was purity and is all I ever want.With some music to silence my mind.
If it had been me with my ipod and maybe in a warm room with only an adjoined restroom Id be perfect.Why even bother eating?Why do anything?I would be pure creating and destroying worlds with my imagination.No need for ppl ,magick,feeling or anything.This is life.The illusions of emotions and pleasure are death.One day I shall be so strong as to drive a hammer through the tv,shut off the computer for good,get over this infection of my sinuses,quit my job,quit school,quit eating and just be pure.Let death come as it may,I am god and this body is less and less in its significance.One day....