Post by dustedwings84 on Jan 5, 2008 9:12:29 GMT -6
I did some thinking last night. This is how things have been going lately.
I have a HORRIBLE sense of time so bear with me. After my last post, Iconoclasm, as well as some people in my life, made me realise I needed to lay off the alcohol. I don't think I'm an alcoholic since I have no withdrawal, its just been a psychological/routine thing. I still needed something to help me sleep though so yesterday I tried taking 1/2 a sleeping pill.
I woke up groggily, not overly tired but not refreshed. I had a cup of coffee and a few bites of overcooked Ramen and went to work. When I got there I bought a 20oz of Diet Mt Dew.
I don't know if it was my body in a slight state of shock or if I was getting hypoglycaemic or both, but I had a switch... I guess it was one of my inner selfs.
She was so calm, so spiritual, so peaceful. I was able to do my work correctly and without problem, but I was working with another co-worker who isn't very talkative and so it was easy for me to lull out into daydreams/thoughts.
I made a realization. Satanism is a religion/philosophy of the flesh. It preaches only fleshly desires and no " spiritual pipe dreams".
Most "right hand path" religions preach denial of the flesh to achieve "spiritual awakening/peace".
How do I balance these two? When my one self is in front he/she/it is more agressive, take charge, and wants all fleshly desires to be indulged... that one is Satanic. Then there's the other one who is peaceful and serene and wants fleshly desires denied in order to attain spiritual purity. Both of these feel so good in of themselves.... and its so damn hard to compromise.
How do I do this? I don't understand. I know how the Romans did it and I admire the Romans but I also admire my oesophagus and teeth.
I have a HORRIBLE sense of time so bear with me. After my last post, Iconoclasm, as well as some people in my life, made me realise I needed to lay off the alcohol. I don't think I'm an alcoholic since I have no withdrawal, its just been a psychological/routine thing. I still needed something to help me sleep though so yesterday I tried taking 1/2 a sleeping pill.
I woke up groggily, not overly tired but not refreshed. I had a cup of coffee and a few bites of overcooked Ramen and went to work. When I got there I bought a 20oz of Diet Mt Dew.
I don't know if it was my body in a slight state of shock or if I was getting hypoglycaemic or both, but I had a switch... I guess it was one of my inner selfs.
She was so calm, so spiritual, so peaceful. I was able to do my work correctly and without problem, but I was working with another co-worker who isn't very talkative and so it was easy for me to lull out into daydreams/thoughts.
I made a realization. Satanism is a religion/philosophy of the flesh. It preaches only fleshly desires and no " spiritual pipe dreams".
Most "right hand path" religions preach denial of the flesh to achieve "spiritual awakening/peace".
How do I balance these two? When my one self is in front he/she/it is more agressive, take charge, and wants all fleshly desires to be indulged... that one is Satanic. Then there's the other one who is peaceful and serene and wants fleshly desires denied in order to attain spiritual purity. Both of these feel so good in of themselves.... and its so damn hard to compromise.
How do I do this? I don't understand. I know how the Romans did it and I admire the Romans but I also admire my oesophagus and teeth.