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Post by Hupadgh N'ghft on Oct 9, 2011 7:27:50 GMT -6
After ending a five month relationship and fucking another girl right after who cut contact with me I no longer feel feelings, it's weird.. Just not feeling anything itself may be a feeling. I'm not sure, I'm not sure about anything, where to move on from here, how to embrace the new me, if I even should. Should I just move on with who I am now and live life without feelings or should I try to get that life back? Being a simpleminded weak mortal who got these so called "feelings" hurt? It didn't hurt when my ex dumped me, it didn't feel good when I fucked this other girl, nor did it hurt when she cut contact with me. I'm glad to have left them behind, they helped shape the monster that I am becoming, my own personal god. The reason I am rambling on about this point is that for the first time in my life I feel nothing, it's just hallow. I feel no pain, grief, anguish, rage, happiness, hunger, thirst. At least not on the physical plane, in reality my mentality is a mystery, I do not feel sad or happy feelings, but I do thirst for knowledge and I want to know more about me, myself and my shadowy past and burning future. Ia Ia Cthulhu fhtagn.
Awake! R'luh Orr'e N'ghft
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Post by sin on Oct 10, 2011 6:43:37 GMT -6
Five months, isn't a very long period - but the investment may have been more than time. It's common to feel 'lost' after severing a coupling. Some couples identify with 'us' vs. 'me', so your own identity is often lost when you identify as being a pair. All decisions are usually made together, and with consideration for another person - whereas a single person only has to concern themselves with them self. The relationship is over (for what ever reason) and you feel numb, because you don't know who or what you are. I would work on re-discovering the self, and all feeling will return.
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Post by dudetyson on Oct 10, 2011 22:18:55 GMT -6
This is just me, but I ended up using not-feeling as a sort of defense over the last year or so, and I now deeply regret it. I have had to work a lot to restore my connection to my meaningful past experiences.
One thing to think about -- when you say you feel "nothing" and "hollow" and such, do you truly feel neutral, or is this a way of expressing an extreme negative?
I was unfeeling for a while and I recently gave it up. Some may disagree with me on this, but I think emotion is the core of life. All a person's motivations come from their feelings about something. Logic can assist, but it is feelings that are the Nietzschean core of a person which decide what is valuable and what is not.
This advice may not be immediately useful. Give yourself a week to chill. Then start thinking about what in life is important to you besides the ladies (or including the ladies -- new, better ladies! -- if you're really passionate about that).
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Post by sin on Oct 11, 2011 6:28:05 GMT -6
I don't think its possible to "feel nothing", the feeling of emptiness is certainly an emotion. Sometimes those emotions can be transmuted to other emotions, but I agree - it just takes time. The old saying 'time heals all wounds' rings true. That feeling of now what? Is the time to rediscover yourself. Re-inventing oneself is a way to dampen the pain. I've read my fair share of books in the psychology field that cover how people behave after a relationship ends. They generally seek to change their appearance, activities, social circle, habits, and find a way to express themselves, as someone else. It's a form of disassociation, when yous say to yourself: all this pain, its not happening to me but that other guy. It's a trap most people fall into, and it can be one that drags you down. It's healthier to find yourself again, when removing a tandem identity (identifying with a couple vs. being an individual).
It's okay to feel the pain, let it pass over you and dissipate.
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