Um is it brain damage?

[iconoclasm]

After reading several cool manga online,my imagination was so hyped.So I spent 4 hours indulging my mind in bed coming up with a new world and new characters.It was a blast.As always in the darkness of the basement I see spirits and stuff probably attracted to the energy floating around.However at some point they vanish.I should have expected something then abd there but I continued my fantasy which began to slip from my control ,warp and distort.Usually the drifting things if they are spirits will remain in the basement doing their own thing while I drift off to sleep ,but they were gone...Some shit was coming.

So I try to go to sleep and I am hit with a storm in my head.What it is I dunno but the entities were long gone.Bad frequency maybe?Alien implants?Brain damage???

Anyhow,I wake up and I can barely move.My head is erupting with electric fire crawling around my skull.My hands are shaking as if undergoing tremors as I painstakingly put on my socks.Something is wrong with my brain I bet.Small blanket draped from my shoulders,I hold my pillow to my head as I exit the basement.It fucking hurts so much and moving one foot in front of the other is hell.I try to think but I cant.Its a hundred times worse than being drunk or hung over.

I barely manage but I crawl up the stairs,my mind in agony.My sister is on the computer...and she says something but I ignore it in my pain and head to the bathroom.I'm at home and some terrifying sensation like electric current crossed my brain.My body is shaky and tied and too heavy to move swiftly.Time is approximately 7:30 based on the reading on the cable box.

Snap!A loud snap and the feeling of getting bludgeoned with a heavy object strikes me in my head.I open my eyes,Im in bed again.This time my eyes hurt so bad.I get out of bed and make easy work of putting my socks on...What the fuck just happened.I climb the steps but I do not have to use the bathroom,I grab a cup of water.No ones on the computer.The time is 7:30 based on the reading on the cable box

Neither sequence was a dream.The detail in the first was so painstakingly exact it is not funny.No dreamlike quality,faces and details were clear.This right here in this vector in time is the second scenario.I can assume that multiple worlds theory holds weight.Given this assumption,I am to assume the wires became crossed with Jameson in what I'll call world one and world two.Whenever the astral regulars cease to be...something is up.I am to assume the parallels are painstakingly similar to originals.

Of course given my history of these phenomenon,especially in my teenage years,I must have jumped so many worlds painfully yet not consciously willed that it isn't funny.This world is similar as I remembered it except for one askew detail.The firefox shortcut on my desktop was never labeled oo and no one I live with but I have the witty sense of humor to change it.

If this is not plausible then my brain is to big for my big head and is causing massive problems or I have brain damage.Or somehow my hyperactive imagination is causing me problems.Then again I was always told my 3rd eye chakra is too active.

Either way,things around me tend to notice when its going to occur before I do.Which further heightens my suspicions.

If it is a cross over,I never get used to it.Always fucking painful,always...

Reality's fluidity and inconsistencies are once more made obvious to me.

[Madguten]

The mind controls what we sense and experience in such a big way that it is hard to say what is really going on when this happens to you. It seems to be centered around brain activity. Mainly the sleep frequencies. Have you tried reading about sleep-paralysis and such to see if you can recognize anything from your own experiences?

I know very little about this.

I havent experienced anything like that since i was a child. Except perhaps under the influence of altering substances in my earlier youth. Nothing unprovoked since i was a child, I am sure that THAT WAS my fantasy when i was a kid. Sometimes i could even change the things i saw at night, when i was in a dark room. The low visibility of darkness was a trigger back then.

I definitely think you are right in trying to figure out the options about what this could be. Maybe you can come to control it.

[eratciv]

Yes you stupid fuck it is brain damage. Bet ya wished you'd sniffed less glue.

[luxcthonis]

You will excuse us if our lack of concern over you two (or however many you are, I for one couldn't give a fuck less) does not garner much response from myself.
You both have proven here and elswhere as to how useless you are both to the Cult as well as to yourselves. You are the embodiment of ignorance and stupidity. I for one am honoured to be the one to tell you so.
Shouldn't you be engaged in more angelic activities, such as sucking up to the Source? It couldn't touch us then, and it won't touch us now.
Plus, I think Elise got our roles mixed up back there, you see, (all Sweeney Todd references aside) I am the demon barber, I am the pie-maker, and I am also the little boy who no one likes.
What does that make you?
Jack and shit, and jack just left town.
Oh, and don't forget, you, Robert, would have already been dead on perhaps two occaisions if it weren't for my help, but Elise didn't know about that did she? (oops!) Fine way you show loyalty to friends, its no wonder you have no real ones left.

So, this will be all you will hear from me on this subject (most of what I say from here on out will be behind your back straight to your face), because for one it is beyond stupid, second it is a waste of my time, and you both are a waste of life in general. I do hope you both die soon....oh, I have just received assurance that you will. How peaceful it will be without you two losers harping in my ear.
Oh, and I love the little things you throw against me, they are so funny, hahaha! Just watch you don't kill yourself in the process because I sure as hell won't be looking out for you.
I don't even have to lift a finger, and my victory is already assured. Praise Cthulhu! Hail Satan!
Korth'salas be my guide!
Watch yourself, insect.

[iconoclasm]

eratciv said:

Yes you stupid fuck it is brain damage. Bet ya wished you'd sniffed less glue.

If this is the most productive you can come up with,why bother?Some parasites be best ignored.

It could possibly be related to a frequency of the brain, I have suffered from chronic sleep paralysis and other sleep disorders in the past.Ah well,new world or not,I'll enjoy it like it is new LOL.

[luxcthonis]

hey! I just realized I'm God now! hahaha!
(okay completely off topic)

Its not brain damage, if it were you would be speaking in slurs, twitching, looking all cute and stupid like most blithering idiots, haha! (no offense to the real handicapped).

More likely, it is just insanity. It increases with age. Hopefully, you will have mastered your insanity somewhat before the time comes that you end up like the aforementioned blithering idiots (actually, I hope I take my own advice).

But then again, I won't fret...one of our most powerful Gods is a blind-idiot (do not mistake this flux of chaos for the manifestations of human stupidity so prevalent in human culture as of late).

But then yet again, all reality is interconnected. *sigh* No more attempts at explanations, you either know the truth or you do not. Either you are born with it, or you die to get it. (I speak to those who may chance to read this thread in future)

[Madguten]

Congrats on the 500 posts H!

May there be 500 more ;D

Hurra!
Hurra!
Hurra!

Ia! Ia!

Cthulhu Fhtagn!

[luxcthonis]

Why thank you MG ;D
I hope to give 500 more, certainly!

[youma]

It sounds like a form of epilepsy. Next time you see a doctor, you might want to mention it. If it doesn't happen too often or too suddenly, and as long as it doesn't worsen over time, you might want to handle it without medication, but being sure it's not caused by a brain cancer is always a good thing.


Note: The little bloodsucker here is called a troll. A fine specimen. The best way to kill it is to ignore it until it starves to death. Then we can always rape its corpse if trollslime doesn't repell everybody.

[Madguten]

It sounds like a form of epilepsy. Next time you see a doctor, you might want to mention it. If it doesn't happen too often or too suddenly, and as long as it doesn't worsen over time, you might want to handle it without medication, but being sure it's not caused by a brain cancer is always a good thing.

Yes, it could be interesting to get a proff opinion. But i dont know if those those things cost a fortune in America.

By the way IcoNoClasmus, congrats on the 500 posts to you too, Ia Ia!

[youma]

Each mention of health care costs makes me so glad not to be an American!
How long you live should be determined by something else than by how much money you own, I don't understand how an entire nation can tolerate it.

[iconoclasm]

Hehe Didnt even realize I had over 500, aww I forgot to celebrate my 333 LOL

I have Medicaid so hopefully its covered.Not sure if it is but it is something to check out.The American health care system is pretty fuckin backwards now that you mention it.This is probably why the topic is all the rage with the politicians running for presidential election.

[Madguten]

I have Medicaid

Good ;D

Then you COULD get it checked if you decide to.

[luxcthonis]

Doctors don't know shit anyway. All they know is what they have learned. They view symptoms and try to fit it in whatever little box is juicy enough to hold it (mmmmm).
As for myself, I have tried to get a diagnosis on a few occaisions, but never to any avail. The last time I tried, my fucking doctor retired two days before my next appointment! His secretary was like "You can call this number (info-sante) and they will help you find a family doctor, okay?" I just laughed. She asked if I wanted the number, and I told her it was no point; "this is the last time I try" were my last words to her.
Fuck a diagnosis! The only good it would do me is to give me an extra few bucks, and to keep the government of my fucking back (actually, they haven't been on my case since I ;ast saw my worker and let him see a glimpse (just a glimpse) of my insanity).
What does this have to do with the subject? Fucked if I know, I'm pretty much writing to take my mind off the thought of cold steel slicing veins; of icy winds taking my soul to Niflheim.
"HOPE YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE!!!"

Love and Death,
-H.

[Madguten]

In Canada you still have "free" health care system right?

We do in Denmark, but it is beginning to crumble because of years of unwise politics. Right now we have a "the rich get richer" mentality in Denmark. It is most sad.

[youma]

It's like that here too
If the system had been in the state it is now twenty years ago, I wouldn't have made it through infancy, I needed lots of antibiotics.
Doctors don't know everything, but they know how to fix broken bones and cure infections. Cancer too, sometimes.
When it comes to psychiatrists however, I agree that it's bulshit. I would probably have been "normal" if my mom hadn't been taken me to a psy everytime I made those blunders children do, so mission failed.

[iconoclasm]

I guess some degree of damage is expected after shoving a hanger in a socket in my early teens...then again,though it is theorehtically possible for a shock to cause an imbalance of chemicals on a yound and developing brain...It does not seem like seizures.

There is an otherworldly quality.Seizures are blackouts..thats as severe as I would get them.Id be doing something,then im standing there dazed the next with a very tingly and odd sensation in my head...like getting a concussion or something after being rocked in the head.

Maybe there are things rare and yet to be indexed by the medical science community...

[luxcthonis]

Holy shit dude, what you just described sounds a bit familiar to me...
i wonder...is someone feeding off you? it has the same concussive feeling to it, with an odd euphoria.

[iconoclasm]

luxcthonis said:

Holy shit dude, what you just described sounds a bit familiar to me...
i wonder...is someone feeding off you? it has the same concussive feeling to it, with an odd euphoria.

I remember as a child one day,I did some shit and knew I'd get in trouble but I was a bad ass.My pops got pissed so I ran from him.However he caught me and smacked me so hard I damn near blacked out.There may have been a conciussion but I dunno LOL.Anyhow I was deaf in my ear for a while but he was a really tall guy and I was small.(Last time he ever hit me though cause I grew fast though I aint as tall as I wanna be)

The feeling I describe is similar to that.But I don't go deaf,I forget who I am,where I was and what I am doing in that moment for a few seconds.This however is not gnosis.Its a micro seizure or form thereof.I could have been drained,I dunno...

[docdr]

You wanna talk brain damage?

On my last day as a 15 yr I popped eight pure Mdma, broke through parts of my consciousness, by the time my heart was doubling up to an estimate 200 bpm I decided to inhale and exhale deeply connecting each breath to get more oxygen in the blood, my heart rate turned to normal and I blacked out(before I blacked out I saw a octarine buddha and an octarine butterfly), woke up with white pasty crack head lips, and pale skin I woke up like that on my 16th birthday.

Imagine a balloon full of Mdma crystals popping inside your brain.

The consciousness I broke through was like walking through a door that immediately shuts behind you and is locked for good. But I have learned to like it here.

I twitch violently in the neck sometimes when I puff a dart, or when I get cold, or at random my neck will snap down then to the side then back.

My back twitches like someone is running icy fingers down my spine.

Random parts of my body on the outside will twitch and harden... I think its just energy.

Light bulbs will flicker when I am deep in thought or the lights will black out for lil bit.

however my speech is fine. I also learned that the word Yeah can be used at anytime with a different expression to fit the setting.

Haha. ;D

[nyarlathotep2008]

I had my uncle and my dad beat me into a concussion before. I don't have seizures but sometimes I go through minor black-out phases where I can't remember what happened during those 15 minutes. I've slept-walked before and I've waked up in the middle of the night before for no reason and balled someone out. One time I slept-walked outside in the dead of winter and woke up in the snow. Talk about freezing your ass off. That happened when I was 12 with my uncle and 13 with my dad. I ended up taking my uncle to jail and I beat the fuck out of my dad over it. Plus because kids do stupid shit and grow up in different ways, I was in and out of psychiatric institutes and then with the pills again just like it is with some other people on here. So I know quite a bit and I can help out a lot, but sometimes I won't remember half the shit I did the day before while I remember everything I did last week.

[Madguten]

Rough stuff.

I am glad that you broke through the concrete.

Ia!

[nyarlathotep2008]

It wasn't easy at first. Right now I'm learning how to work around it so I can understand anything I want to and I can do so for most things.

[hiqconsoul]

May 6, 2008 22:22:45 GMT -6 @nyarlathotep2008 said:

I had my uncle and my dad beat me into a concussion before. I don't have seizures but sometimes I go through minor black-out phases where I can't remember what happened during those 15 minutes. I've slept-walked before and I've waked up in the middle of the night before for no reason and balled someone out. One time I slept-walked outside in the dead of winter and woke up in the snow. Talk about freezing your ass off. That happened when I was 12 with my uncle and 13 with my dad. I ended up taking my uncle to jail and I beat the fuck out of my dad over it. Plus because kids do stupid shit and grow up in different ways, I was in and out of psychiatric institutes and then with the pills again just like it is with some other people on here. So I know quite a bit and I can help out a lot, but sometimes I won't remember half the shit I did the day before while I remember everything I did last week.

3 fucking cheers....
and careful with medicine... some of it is doped out to fuck us up even worse than we are already cuz "we're useless idiots with no futures and best be ridden of so we don't *polute* the oh-so-great-ones' existances"
-but no doubt if your brain is chemically out of balance medicines are needed to rebalance it..
if one just was a biology- and natural nutritions expert.......

[beastofirem]

Many experiences can be to a degree explained by medicine and if one does have a history of sleep paralysis then it is probably medical also the subconscious is incredibly powerful at manifesting phenomenon.

Health care as an American-

Car Accident bill- 200 dollars

Brothers ruptured cyst biopsy- 2,000 dollars 2k for an effin infected zit!

[Xor'Nefthrahm]

Trust me, we can't tolerate it I'm acctually thinking about moving to canada or something!

Jan 17, 2008 20:43:04 GMT -6 @youma said:

Each mention of health care costs makes me so glad not to be an American!
How long you live should be determined by something else than by how much money you own, I don't understand how an entire nation can tolerate it.

[Xor'Nefthrahm]

Sounds like America, only that we never had a free healthcare program.. our money is used on blowing stuff up instead..

Jan 19, 2008 6:08:31 GMT -6 Madguten said:

In Canada you still have "free" health care system right?

We do in Denmark, but it is beginning to crumble because of years of unwise politics. Right now we have a "the rich get richer" mentality in Denmark. It is most sad.

[Madguten]

Yeah i think the development is the same all over, it looks bleak from a natural/primitive or even humanistic view right now, but there is never any way of really telling where the ball might land or how the cookie crumbles. I think that ruthless capitalism will be replaced by a NEW satan, or a new sickness or whatever you want to call it. I would say I KNOW SO, but that would make me sound presumptuous so ill just say i THINK so. ;D

[jmsn]

Got my head scanned.No seizures detected by the EEG and no abnormalities on the surface of my brain according to the MRI. Now things are moving to get me sent to a sleep clinic.Chances are ,what alteration in reality I experience are psychological in nature...

[Madguten]

Got my head scanned.No seizures detected by the EEG and no abnormalities on the surface of my brain according to the MRI. Now things are moving to get me sent to a sleep clinic.Chances are ,what alteration in reality I experience are psychological in nature...

I think that a sleep clinic sounds like an interesting idea, if they could hook you up to a computer while you sleep and see what happens. It has helped a lot of people find out what was going on with them while they were asleep. I think that it is good news that your brain is not deform. Just hang in there, i am sure you will find the cause and solution to your problem. I mean on many subjects you are way above avarage, so i think your chance of beating this is a good one. i hope you get enough sleep and food.