Post by Padowan on May 1, 2015 23:37:06 GMT -6
It's become a habit now. Every one of my latest insights is coming to me in the transitional period from sleep to awake - literally. One moment I'll be dreaming and then I will be lifting from the fog into a tunnel of central thought in which a single idea will be planted into my conscious and I carry it with me up to wakefulness. Each time I forget the details and have to sort them out again when awake. Here is my documenting process.
Thought: False Thinking
We are each swimming in a pool of thoughts that have nothing to do with reality. It's thick like muck. Our true self wades through and makes ripples and waves as it moves but it rarely, if ever, surfaces clean of thoughts. There is no just me; no just be. No state of just Being. I want to be clean. The majority of our thoughts are false. Our understanding is skewed. Our data is wacky. This skewed data makes false personalities that approach false perceptions with false thinking. We cannot see the truth or the right direction because we are getting in our own way. Think of all of the personality types: MTBI, enneagram model, Big 5, Zamora, etc. So many features of thought patterns - that's all a personality essentially is - a thought pattern. A web of thinking that people place on their worlds to interact with it but it is all in their minds. Break their pattern and you shock them. A momentary snap into awareness - awareness of their self and reality. Break enough patterns and you start creating a new personality. They never truly get free of false thinking/personality but you can rearrange it.
How do we get clean? How do break our thought patterns? I think there is a way, other than meditation.
Subspace.
Hang on. I'm not talking about space-time warp science fiction, or maybe I am. I'm talking about a "natural high" that a sexual submissive gets during a BDSM scene or when being controlled sexually. The submissive may feel disconnected from time, space, and/or their body, and may have limited ability to communicate. Sounds thoughtless to me. No reference to imaginary time, perceptions of space and body, or ability to communicate. How about orgasmic mental suspension. A state of bliss - no thought - encountered by intense sexual orgasmic release.
What do meditation, subspace and orgasms have in common? Singular focus. Finding one "I." All multiple 'I's are completely silenced. Personality dissolves along with needs, desires, or anything beyond mere existence. Is this consciousness or is it merely numb? An opiate of sorts.
A direction-less state. Floating.
I like being in that state but it is forever fleeting and maybe it should be or else we might all starve. No motivation to work to survive.
False thinking builds false realities. Each one of us is carrying our own pocket of warped perception based on rivers of mindless thought. We become what we think we are and imprison ourselves in limitations. Our personalities takes form based on the limited confines of thought patterns and loops instead of never ending linear rays of possibility (in a mathematical/psychological sense, not hokey pokey mysticism.) We are caught in our own webs of grids of thought, bumping into self imposed boundaries.
Breaking these walls and webs and patterns of thought has to be the way into singular focus to a singular 'I.'
Or 'I' could be false.