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BDSM
Jul 22, 2010 17:33:46 GMT -6
Post by A:.O:. on Jul 22, 2010 17:33:46 GMT -6
I thought I'd start a unified thread about that naughty thing called BDSM.
For those who don't know, BDSM is a term gotten from the following:
Bondage and Discipline (B&D, B/D, or just BD) Dominance and submission (D/s, D&s, etc.) Sadism and masochism (S&M, S/M)
I've seen mention of BDSM, or aspects thereof, in a few different posts and I wanted to have a discussion with everyone out there that is into this things of ours. Hopefully this can educate those who know nothing about this, and for those who know a lot - maybe we can share ideas.
So, anyone want to chime in here? Got any experiences you'd like to share? Any thoughts you'd like to add?
ia ia Cthulhu fhatgn!
A:.O:. Herald of the Old Gods Cult of Cthulhu
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Kai'Sigth
Adeptus
Dreaming Herald of the Old Gods
Posts: 32
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BDSM
Jul 22, 2010 17:59:05 GMT -6
Post by Kai'Sigth on Jul 22, 2010 17:59:05 GMT -6
I was into BDSM for a few months. I would be now if I had more friends in the scene. It's something I enjoy, a lot.
I spent a lot of time reading up on the various subjects. I'm not sure if you've seen me mention it before or not but I was once Master to a slave. It was a lot of fun for me, but also took a lot of time and energy away from me, particularly because she wasn't a very good slave and I don't believe she really wanted to be one. I was also very lenient as a Master. I also loved the girl so that didn't help much and finally it was an unhealthy relationship.
I'm into S&M and I suppose I always will be. I enjoy pain in a sexual setting. Bondage is a lot of fun for me as well as blood-letting and just about anything else. Well, anything I've tried and liked that is ha ha. I will try anything though. Except scat...
Anyway, I hope to get back into the scene or even deeper in it then I was before. Someday I suppose.
Awake!
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BDSM
Jul 23, 2010 20:24:07 GMT -6
Post by lisbent on Jul 23, 2010 20:24:07 GMT -6
BDSM is a very powerfull tool for trancendence, especially bondage. By limiting our bodys potential for movement for prolonged periods of time we can effectively shut down certain areas of the brain, specificly the prefrontal cortex, and by doing this regularly over a period of years it is even possible to create new synapses, and as such rewiring the brain. one of the core jobs the PFC administrates is the processing of sensory input into the reality we percieve as everyday life. When the PFC is shut down it enables the limbic regions to deal with this sensory bombardment without the hindering fascist interpretation society has inprinted upon the PFC tampering with it. We experince reality more purely. We transcend. There is some research on this subject by BDSM practitioners, they call it subspace as far as i remember. I am not a practitioner myself, but i have read alot about the subject written by Danish cult writer and grandmaster Erwin Neutzsky Wulff. His works are only published in Danish, which is a damn shame because he is truly a genious and a visionary, combining as diverse topics as quantum physics, neurology, kabbala and BDSM into a truly outstanding meta-structure of knowledge. Here follows an exerpt from the english wiki pertaining to his book "Det Overnaturlige" "The prose Det overnaturlige, more or less exact than Okkultisme and Magi, is at the same time meant to displace them by writing a modern grimoire. It is information-dense, cut to the bone and indirectly demands that the reader study a number of texts only referred to in the book to properly understand it. The book describes the mystic initiation, a radical practice requiring women to be sexually enslaved (as in Rum), whereas men have to undergo a kind of virtual castration. Themes as diverse as kabbalah, the mystic traditions of the Holy Grail, Gnosticism, fairy tales, Mozart's The Magic Flute and Wagner are treated in depth." en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erwin_Neutzsky-Wulff
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BDSM
Jul 26, 2010 10:11:47 GMT -6
Post by A:.O:. on Jul 26, 2010 10:11:47 GMT -6
I've been doing this thing for over nine years, with the same woman (who is also my wife). I'm her Master and she is my slave. I'm not sure if we are unusual in the scene for our lack of desire to interact with others, both in real life and through the internet. I'm always willing to discuss BDSM to whomever wants to discuss it with me but when it comes to interacting with people as a Master (other than with my slave) then I usually just decline.
When it comes to reading up on the subject, or at least the S&M part, I recommend SM 101 by Jay Wiseman. The book is a great source of a lot of technical info (I loaned the book to a person I know once and never got it back - I regret that). Screw the Roses send me the Thorns is also a pretty good read but not as good as the above mentioned SM 101. I've found that no matter how much I've ever read about BDSM, when it comes to technique, practice makes perfect.
For the Ds minded folk, The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book, both by Janet W. Harding and Dossie Easton, offer some great insights. I recommend reading them both regardless of your leaning.
My biggest resourse in BDSM is, and always will be, my imagination. When it comes to the physical side of things, I dream up ways of inflicting my slave with pain/pleasure/whatever and then go for it. I observe her reactions, see if it warrents changing what I'm doing, and if everything gives me the results I want then I usually add whatever I did to my 'bag o' tricks'.
Communication is often an overlooked aspect of BDSM to those that are new to it. Many people come to this with an idea of how it should be and when they start playing with another, who also has an idea of how it should be - often times different from their partner, then it leads to disappointment. Talking about things beforehand, taking things slowly, and even the use of temporary contracts spelling out how each partner will and won't do for the duration of the contract, can help both people understand what the other wants and doesn't want.
Everybody is happy when they are getting what they want!
ia ia Cthulhu fhatgn!
A:.O:. Herald of the Old Gods Cult of Cthulhu
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BDSM
Jul 26, 2010 21:18:48 GMT -6
Post by Apsara Kamalli on Jul 26, 2010 21:18:48 GMT -6
My biggest resourse in BDSM is, and always will be, my imagination. When it comes to the physical side of things, I dream up ways of inflicting my slave with pain/pleasure/whatever and then go for it. I observe her reactions, see if it warrents changing what I'm doing, and if everything gives me the results I want then I usually add whatever I did to my 'bag o' tricks'.
Communication is often an overlooked aspect of BDSM to those that are new to it. Many people come to this with an idea of how it should be and when they start playing with another, who also has an idea of how it should be - often times different from their partner, then it leads to disappointment. Talking about things beforehand, taking things slowly, and even the use of temporary contracts spelling out how each partner will and won't do for the duration of the contract, can help both people understand what the other wants and doesn't want.
Everybody is happy when they are getting what they want!
Every BDSM experience is unique to the people participating. As mentioned above, the key is open communication between the parties involved. Just because you may want to spank her with the largest paddle on the wall doesn't mean she's going to enjoy it or even consider getting used to it because maybe she only enjoys spanking when it's skin on skin contact. It takes a strong sense of openness and trust between you and your partner(s) to really make it right for all parties involved. And what's the best way to find out? Practice makes perfect, and can be so much fun along the way.
Awake!
Apsara Kamalli Esoteric Herald of the Old Gods Cult of Cthulhu
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BDSM
Sept 13, 2010 15:54:25 GMT -6
Post by saxo on Sept 13, 2010 15:54:25 GMT -6
your experiences inspire me. But I need some help... I also loved the girl so that didn't help much and finally it was an unhealthy relationship I have a quite monogamic life, I can't see myself having two or more relationships at the same time. And yet Im in love with my girlfriend. There's the problem: Im "new" in SM, my girlfriend too...I bough some stuff and we would do something in the nexts weeks but...I don't know how to start. You know, as the member quoted above said, Love and BDSM together can be a disaster. Someone know how I should start with her? What accessories I should use 1st and then proceed with others (if she likes)? I'm doing this only for her...trying to give her much pleasure I can give. Anyone can help?
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BDSM
Nov 10, 2011 16:31:10 GMT -6
Post by nightraven14 on Nov 10, 2011 16:31:10 GMT -6
I have been struggling with the concept of BDSM for awhile now. I have an interest in it, but just can't seem to pull the trigger. I see myself as a slave/submissive, but I also have a need for full independence.
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BDSM
Nov 11, 2011 6:09:47 GMT -6
Post by boksmutant on Nov 11, 2011 6:09:47 GMT -6
When I was 18(ten thousand years ago) I found a Club called "Sin-amatic" in 1994 L.A. that ironically had "Psychic TV" the Band playing inside. I knew not who they were at the time,but payed regardless. During the event I met a couple weird but hot chics who said they were "devotees" of the Band & actually meditated with them.Haha.
In the back of this Club they had a S&M room that had shit I never saw before involving all the Hell Raiser crap you could think of. Crucifixions, blood & a bunch of on lookers that got a free show. We'll that was my intro to that life style,& as much as it bothered my Mormon sensibilities, I felt like something was missing from my experience as a human ever since then.
I have come to find that there is a perfect mix between pain & pleasure that transcends the flesh till it is almost supernatural in nature. You must realize the body is a prison as spoken of in the Forth Way till it almost becomes an enemy. That might be pushing it, but I think it's a good start:)
Am I right in this thinking?
Awake!
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BDSM
Nov 11, 2011 13:43:17 GMT -6
Post by Cain Da'arnesh on Nov 11, 2011 13:43:17 GMT -6
Well one of the things that bother's me about the scene is this mistaken concept that in my submission, I've willingly given up my freedom and will. Truth be told, I have not as I would not submit if I honestly didn't want to. There are many aspects of my life to discuss and a few I won't as I don't believe that understanding would be too common...
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BDSM
Nov 13, 2011 12:54:09 GMT -6
Post by ahariman6 on Nov 13, 2011 12:54:09 GMT -6
I really was drawn to the concept that you are driven by your imagination. Since this probably requires a large amount of imaginative skill, it's probably a good tool to be used in rituals.
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BDSM
Nov 14, 2011 8:23:59 GMT -6
Post by sin on Nov 14, 2011 8:23:59 GMT -6
For me, its not a 'lifestyle' or a 'scene' its just my life. I find the BDSM, KINKSTER, or whatever name people are using these days, is just a measure of programming which can be harmful to a person's psyche. Anything from the do's and don'ts to the roles people 'play'. I find a lot of this is misunderstood, even by the people who claim they are qualified to 'teach' others. Even something as simple as the 'top' and 'bottom' dynamic, which can even travel into the realm of 'gay programming'. And, a lot of the 'education' came about, because of the 'morality police' in the 'lifestyle' - yes, quote use is necessary.
It's among the reasons I chose The Marquis De Sade as a subject for a paper I wrote a while back, to explore the pathology of the 'sadist' in the making.
www.scribd.com/doc/32075650/De-sade
What 'education' could you offer me about what it is and isn't about?
My weekend handy work
CS
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BDSM
Nov 15, 2011 20:42:34 GMT -6
Post by Cain Da'arnesh on Nov 15, 2011 20:42:34 GMT -6
Well there are many factors. For instance, I maintain my position and make suggestions to my Goddess on a regular basis. They're often ignored as she likes to assert her dominance, but every now and again, she says something along the lines of, "That's a good idea slut! Now go fetch the toys!"
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BDSM
Nov 17, 2011 10:36:35 GMT -6
Post by sin on Nov 17, 2011 10:36:35 GMT -6
For me, its a turn on to be the 'need', and provide the service (Narcissism). I'm still following the 'orders' of my partner but both of our needs are fulfilled.
When you say you are maintaining your position, do you mean in regards to controlling the Sadist and/or DOM?
CS
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BDSM
Nov 17, 2011 20:37:54 GMT -6
Post by A'Zodul F'eid on Nov 17, 2011 20:37:54 GMT -6
I've always found the correlation between the occult and BDSM interesting. The comics the Invisibles touch on it a bit, and include Lovecraftian elements. As I said I find in interesting, but I've devoted very little time to exploring the two together outside of the occasional Konstantanos type sex ritual with BDSM elements. I suspect Sade's influence is the key though.
Awaken.
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BDSM
Nov 18, 2011 8:30:49 GMT -6
Post by sin on Nov 18, 2011 8:30:49 GMT -6
I do think its a fascinating subject worth the study. Is it just a matter of people with specific interests having a proclivity towards unorthodox sex lives, or is it something else?
Looking at my own pathology, it was the finest work of Determinism I can fathom. I'm aware of this, and I see no reason to work against it until such time that it causes a drain on my life.
CS
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xoc
Novitiate
Antgo-gnostic
Posts: 18
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BDSM
Nov 21, 2011 9:28:05 GMT -6
Post by xoc on Nov 21, 2011 9:28:05 GMT -6
Yes, mostly like S & M. Not always into the b & d parts. I usually am by myself.
One of the things I would think these people would do is throw away the moral programming and embrace taboo. I think that's much more effective on a "magical" level than to follow the whole "top-bottom" thing.
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BDSM
Nov 22, 2011 10:23:38 GMT -6
Post by sin on Nov 22, 2011 10:23:38 GMT -6
The programming is epic. I can't tell you how many instances in which this issue has come up for me. It's like a pre-requisite that 'roles' must be established beforehand. Takes all the magic out of the sex act, if you ask me.
More recently, a friend of mine told me no roles were necessary. I think he assumed I had some adherence to the top-bottom dynamic. I just laughed. I think it flows as it should, naturally, between all parties involved. Plural partners as well. You naturally take a more aggressive or passive approach, and it may flow in different directions depending on the dynamic of the individuals.
The only context I can see it being 'useful' is if you need to make it clear that you are either a pitcher or a catcher. It matters.
CS
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xoc
Novitiate
Antgo-gnostic
Posts: 18
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BDSM
Nov 22, 2011 10:51:25 GMT -6
Post by xoc on Nov 22, 2011 10:51:25 GMT -6
Yeah I agree, the flowing is important. When you're having sex and worried about roles, structure, if you're gonna mess up-minute things of that nature... You end up unsatisfied and likely to make a mistake more so, than if you just embrace your nature.
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BDSM
Nov 24, 2011 14:14:13 GMT -6
Post by glade on Nov 24, 2011 14:14:13 GMT -6
I don't know too much about it. I do know what I like. My girl friend enjoys the letting of blood. I do have to say it is thrilling.
Awake!
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BDSM
Nov 28, 2011 8:29:33 GMT -6
Post by sin on Nov 28, 2011 8:29:33 GMT -6
Yeah I agree, the flowing is important. When you're having sex and worried about roles, structure, if you're gonna mess up-minute things of that nature... You end up unsatisfied and likely to make a mistake more so, than if you just embrace your nature. Or just ruin the whole damn relationship before it ever gets off the ground. For me, I behave instinctual, natural, and allow it to shape organically. Best bet, at least for me.
CS
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SM
Squib
Posts: 4
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BDSM
Apr 22, 2013 21:32:26 GMT -6
Post by SM on Apr 22, 2013 21:32:26 GMT -6
I have only had one experience with BDSM and it was not very gratifying for me at all. The partner that was involved did not know what they were doing as far as the role was concerned. Could not play out the role but I have always wanted to meet someone in my life that could teach me what it is suppose to be like. Ia Ia Cthulhu Ftagin!!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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BDSM
Apr 25, 2013 0:32:13 GMT -6
Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2013 0:32:13 GMT -6
I have always wanted to meet someone in my life that could teach me what it is suppose to be like. That must not be difficult at all, there are much more men than women willing such a relationship...
Why don't you do it ? Many forums on that subject, go and choose a partner, what are you waiting for ?
And enjoy !
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