Post by Verins'Sharaz on Nov 20, 2010 21:58:43 GMT -6
Greetings Lord Satanis & Cult of Cthulhu,
I am Ben Nixx 'Al-Aswad, founding initiate of the Sword of MAGAN, a dojo for those seeking their Awakening through the Necronomicon Tradition of the Asaru.
At one time, I was Daera' La' Iyath, Wizard of the Terrible Darkness.
Why have I returned to the forum?
I happened to catch a post on my mentor's blog regarding the events cataloged in the "Decree of Heresy" thread. Some months back, I left the CoC due to a situation that has since been resolved & bears no further mention beyond a formal & public apology to Lord Satanis for my misinterpretation of his actions during that period. I was a very different person then & had just begun my journey on the road I currently walk; I was more prone to making snap judgments than I am now & less observant of myself & less critical of my own actions & motives. While I am by no means perfect & simply a fellow traveler on the road to self-realization & awakening, I would like to think I've gained some insight into myself if nothing else & this prompted me to make my apology.
As to the other reason prompting my return, I wanted to speak on the recent events that have transpired in the Cult. Firstly, I want to express my surprise at the departure of Beast & Ego Diabolus. Jason Sorrell & I became active around the same time & were both raised to Wizards at the same time. His commitment & passion for both the Work & the advancement of the Cult of Cthulhu blew my mind & at the time made me feel a bit overwhelmed. I thought I had some good ideas, but he was able to take his good ideas & put them into action where I was not due mainly to my own procrastination & timidity at the time.
I was not acquainted with Xeno as closely as I was with Jason, but I always saw him as being inseparable to Lord Satanis. It is amazing to me that only a few months of time could change things so drastically.
While I was reading the thread, I was struggling within myself to remain objective. My natural inclination would be to throw my lot in with the heretics & champion the cause of the "reformers" to that of the "despotic tyrant"; however, I was able to catch this inclination & see the issue in as clear a way as possible for me.
I feel Lord Satanis was absolutely right in doing what he did. The CoC is his baby; he founded it, he continues to build it, & ultimately, its success or failure falls on his shoulders. He has never represented himself as other than he is & while others may choose to form their own opinions as to his sincerity & convictions to this paradigm, I, for one, have always known where his heart stands as far as the CoC goes. Anyone perceptive enough will see this fact abundantly in his writing, his media, as well as his interaction with others. He lives & breathes his paradigm. He's High Priest Venger 'As'Nas Satanis twenty-four seven & that honesty alone is to be applauded whether you agree with him or not.
As far as his decision to take the title of Ipissimus, why the hell shouldn't he? He made this current & continues to evolve it on a daily basis. Unless I miss my understanding, that's what an Ipissimus does. I doubt he's looking to boost his level of respect in the occult community with a flashy title; Lord Satanis is more than happy with his Emerald Green corner of the esoteric & honestly could care less what others think of what he does. As far as the CoC goes, He is the Way, cut & dried & if you don't like it, find somewhere else to go. He's never tried to disguise the fact that its his Way or the highway & that fact alone makes any debate kind of foolish.
As far as my perception of Jason & Beast's side of the story go, it seemed to me that they were forming their own paradigm based on the foundation of the CoC, just as Lord Satanis founded the CoC on the foundation of the Mythos, Satanism, Chaos Magick, Fourth Way, etc. While there is nothing wrong with that, trying to dress it up as anything but a new paradigm or denomination if you will, is again, kind of foolish. It's kind of like when Catholics feel the need to specify what kind of Catholic they are based on what they believe. The bottom line they don't realize is if what you believe doesn't line up with what the pope & the cardinals believe, you can still call yourself Catholic, but that doesn't make it so. If one has a problem with orthodoxy enough that they feel they need to do something else, then just bloody do something else & dispense with the smoke & mirrors. There is nothing that would have stopped Jason & Beast from pursuing a side project with their select group of CoC members on their own without putting the CoC stamp on it. I hold both in high regard as knowledgeable & progressive occultists & don't understand why they felt the need to rattle the cage when their objectives could have been accomplished in a much less invasive manner.
So, that is my two cents & I apologize for re-opening a closed topic, but as I have had dealings with all parties involved in the past, I felt the desire to speak on it.
Now, as to my formal re-introduction, I've been an occultist for 26 years with the last 2 & a half devoted to work with the Simon Necronomicon, as well as the CoC paradigm & Traditional Witchcraft. When I'm not doing my occult work & study, I raise a family of six & make polyester film to pay the bills. I enjoy teaching & mentoring others, specifically in occult topics; its the one thing I can't help but do despite the lack of monetary compensation. I read voraciously in a wide diversity of topics from the fantasy of Steven Erickson's Malazan Book of the Fallen & of course, Lovecraft to Taoist classics, Lenormont's "Chaldean Magic", Grimm's Fairy Tales, The Emerald Tablets of Thoth the Atlantean, the Chaldean Oracles, S.M. Connoly's Modern Demonolatry, & the Darth Bane novels to name a few.
I find a great deal of mystical understanding in "fiction" & "folklore", so I keep my mind open to anything that comes my way.
In closing, I plan on staying around the forum as I've always enjoyed the interaction here. Some of the finest occult minds seem to congregate within these slime ridden, viridescent walls & I've missed coming here. I'm really not looking for any kind of formal position within the Cult as my path follows different angles than these, but Lord Satanis has my respect for being genuine to himself & I know the other members of the Sword will agree with me on that if nothing else. I hope you will consider the hatchet between us buried, Lord Satanis, & I look forward to seeing the Cult of Cthulhu grow & prosper to even greater heights than it could ever imagine.
Blessings to you, Lord Satanis & to the rest of the Cult of Cthulhu!
I am Ben Nixx 'Al-Aswad, founding initiate of the Sword of MAGAN, a dojo for those seeking their Awakening through the Necronomicon Tradition of the Asaru.
At one time, I was Daera' La' Iyath, Wizard of the Terrible Darkness.
Why have I returned to the forum?
I happened to catch a post on my mentor's blog regarding the events cataloged in the "Decree of Heresy" thread. Some months back, I left the CoC due to a situation that has since been resolved & bears no further mention beyond a formal & public apology to Lord Satanis for my misinterpretation of his actions during that period. I was a very different person then & had just begun my journey on the road I currently walk; I was more prone to making snap judgments than I am now & less observant of myself & less critical of my own actions & motives. While I am by no means perfect & simply a fellow traveler on the road to self-realization & awakening, I would like to think I've gained some insight into myself if nothing else & this prompted me to make my apology.
As to the other reason prompting my return, I wanted to speak on the recent events that have transpired in the Cult. Firstly, I want to express my surprise at the departure of Beast & Ego Diabolus. Jason Sorrell & I became active around the same time & were both raised to Wizards at the same time. His commitment & passion for both the Work & the advancement of the Cult of Cthulhu blew my mind & at the time made me feel a bit overwhelmed. I thought I had some good ideas, but he was able to take his good ideas & put them into action where I was not due mainly to my own procrastination & timidity at the time.
I was not acquainted with Xeno as closely as I was with Jason, but I always saw him as being inseparable to Lord Satanis. It is amazing to me that only a few months of time could change things so drastically.
While I was reading the thread, I was struggling within myself to remain objective. My natural inclination would be to throw my lot in with the heretics & champion the cause of the "reformers" to that of the "despotic tyrant"; however, I was able to catch this inclination & see the issue in as clear a way as possible for me.
I feel Lord Satanis was absolutely right in doing what he did. The CoC is his baby; he founded it, he continues to build it, & ultimately, its success or failure falls on his shoulders. He has never represented himself as other than he is & while others may choose to form their own opinions as to his sincerity & convictions to this paradigm, I, for one, have always known where his heart stands as far as the CoC goes. Anyone perceptive enough will see this fact abundantly in his writing, his media, as well as his interaction with others. He lives & breathes his paradigm. He's High Priest Venger 'As'Nas Satanis twenty-four seven & that honesty alone is to be applauded whether you agree with him or not.
As far as his decision to take the title of Ipissimus, why the hell shouldn't he? He made this current & continues to evolve it on a daily basis. Unless I miss my understanding, that's what an Ipissimus does. I doubt he's looking to boost his level of respect in the occult community with a flashy title; Lord Satanis is more than happy with his Emerald Green corner of the esoteric & honestly could care less what others think of what he does. As far as the CoC goes, He is the Way, cut & dried & if you don't like it, find somewhere else to go. He's never tried to disguise the fact that its his Way or the highway & that fact alone makes any debate kind of foolish.
As far as my perception of Jason & Beast's side of the story go, it seemed to me that they were forming their own paradigm based on the foundation of the CoC, just as Lord Satanis founded the CoC on the foundation of the Mythos, Satanism, Chaos Magick, Fourth Way, etc. While there is nothing wrong with that, trying to dress it up as anything but a new paradigm or denomination if you will, is again, kind of foolish. It's kind of like when Catholics feel the need to specify what kind of Catholic they are based on what they believe. The bottom line they don't realize is if what you believe doesn't line up with what the pope & the cardinals believe, you can still call yourself Catholic, but that doesn't make it so. If one has a problem with orthodoxy enough that they feel they need to do something else, then just bloody do something else & dispense with the smoke & mirrors. There is nothing that would have stopped Jason & Beast from pursuing a side project with their select group of CoC members on their own without putting the CoC stamp on it. I hold both in high regard as knowledgeable & progressive occultists & don't understand why they felt the need to rattle the cage when their objectives could have been accomplished in a much less invasive manner.
So, that is my two cents & I apologize for re-opening a closed topic, but as I have had dealings with all parties involved in the past, I felt the desire to speak on it.
Now, as to my formal re-introduction, I've been an occultist for 26 years with the last 2 & a half devoted to work with the Simon Necronomicon, as well as the CoC paradigm & Traditional Witchcraft. When I'm not doing my occult work & study, I raise a family of six & make polyester film to pay the bills. I enjoy teaching & mentoring others, specifically in occult topics; its the one thing I can't help but do despite the lack of monetary compensation. I read voraciously in a wide diversity of topics from the fantasy of Steven Erickson's Malazan Book of the Fallen & of course, Lovecraft to Taoist classics, Lenormont's "Chaldean Magic", Grimm's Fairy Tales, The Emerald Tablets of Thoth the Atlantean, the Chaldean Oracles, S.M. Connoly's Modern Demonolatry, & the Darth Bane novels to name a few.
I find a great deal of mystical understanding in "fiction" & "folklore", so I keep my mind open to anything that comes my way.
In closing, I plan on staying around the forum as I've always enjoyed the interaction here. Some of the finest occult minds seem to congregate within these slime ridden, viridescent walls & I've missed coming here. I'm really not looking for any kind of formal position within the Cult as my path follows different angles than these, but Lord Satanis has my respect for being genuine to himself & I know the other members of the Sword will agree with me on that if nothing else. I hope you will consider the hatchet between us buried, Lord Satanis, & I look forward to seeing the Cult of Cthulhu grow & prosper to even greater heights than it could ever imagine.
Blessings to you, Lord Satanis & to the rest of the Cult of Cthulhu!